Shifting Directions
by Hank's Lady
Summary: Sam's story from age 17, starting right before he phases, following his discovery of what he really is and where his heart lies.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: most of the characters in this story belong to Stephanie Meyer and I am merely borrowing them for my enjoyment and hopefully yours.**

**As mentioned in the summary, there will be SLASH in later chapters, so if you don't like that, don't read it. I rated the story 'M' for adult content later on. **

**I'm writing from Sam's point of view, beginning before the pack was formed. **

CHAPTER ONE

I had always been something of a loner. My father, Josh Uley, abandoned my mother Allison and me when I was just a little kid and I grew up older than my years, taking on many of the responsibilities he should have shouldered if he hadn't run off like a coward at the thought of having to look after a wife and child. Allison spent a lot of her time socialising with other families on the reservation, but I kept to myself. I didn't get along with any of the other kids, or more accurately, I didn't try to.

It was suspected I had a half-brother, Embry Call, who also lived with only his mother. She had never divulged who Embry's father was, but most people suspected Joshua and she hadn't denied it. It wouldn't have been the first time he'd screwed around on my mother and Embry had startlingly similar eyes to both me and Josh. That made me dislike him without knowing anything about him, blood ties or not.

Most of the other kids kept out of my way so this suited me fine. I suppose I was a sullen, unapproachable teenager and I liked my own company too much for anyone to bother me. All this changed when I hit seventeen.

I had been aware of the legend of the Quileute shape-shifters for as long as I could remember. That's all I thought it was – what all the boys thought it was – just a legend. Eventually I found out different, but before that I gained a pair of initially unwelcome friends.

I was pissed. Billy Black, who was wheelchair-bound and mostly cared for by his fourteen-year-old boy, Jacob, since his wife Sarah died in a car wreck five years before, asked me to take Jacob and his best buddy off his hands occasionally. I was seen as the most mature young guy on the reservation and Billy figured that Jacob wasn't getting much fun out of life. He and his friend, Embry no less, spent most of their time in Billy's house running after him.

"Do I have to?" I grumbled. "I'm working, Billy, I don't have a lot of time."

"You have the weekends. Those kids need some other focus or they're going to start getting in trouble," Billy told me.

The last thing I wanted was _Embry _hanging out with me. I barely knew Jacob, but he seemed a nice enough kid, sort of quiet and maybe a bit insular; kind of like me. However, I felt like I owed it to Billy. He'd taken on something of a father figure role with me when I'd occasionally needed it. It was Billy who had the birds and the bees talk with me when I was eleven and Billy who gave me the job in the shop after school, which eventually led to me working there full time and pretty much running the place.

"Alright," I said now. "What do you want me to do with them?"

"Well, what do you and your friends do?" asked Billy.

"I don't really have friends," I pointed out. "I never had time."

"Maybe it's time you did, then. You're too isolated, Samuel. I don't know, take them fishing or something."

"_Fishing?_" I snorted now. "Billy, it's 2004. Aren't they into computer games and stuff like that?"

"Yes, which is why I want them out in the fresh air doing something useful, instead of cooped up in the house day in day out, thinking they have to take care of me."

"Sure, ok, I'll think of something. Where are they, anyway?" I asked. It was Friday afternoon. I'd only gone over to Billy's because a customer had left a bottle of whiskey for him. It was always quiet on Fridays so I'd just closed up the shop to run over to his house.

"School, Sam, where do you think?" Billy said with a grin. "It kicks out in about thirty minutes. You could fetch them in your truck; save Tiffany a job." He winked now.

I sighed again. "Alright. So long as you don't mind me closing up early."

"Fridays are always dead. Thanks, Sam." Billy stretched a hand up to shake and I slid mine into it. He gripped firmly and a slight frown creased his brow as he looked up at me.

"You alright?" I asked, pulling my hand back now.

"Sure, son. Go on, now." Billy watched as I turned to leave, that frown still on his face. I shrugged and put it out of my mind.

I swung by Tiffany Call's cabin in the truck and told her I was on the way over to Embry and Jacob's school. Busy with laundry and fixing dinner, she smiled gratefully.

"I appreciate that, Sam," she said. "Billy's idea, was it?"

"Yeah," I grunted uncomfortably. She had been, after all, my Dad's 'bit on the side'. One of the many.

"Not putting you out, I hope."

"No, the shop's quiet this afternoon," I told her.

"It's nice you want to spend some time with Embry."

"I…" I bit my lip before I added 'don't'. "…I guess I ought to get to know him. A bit," I mumbled.

"Maybe you'd like to have dinner with us later," Tiffany suggested.

"Uh, no thanks, Ms Call, my mother's cooking," I said hastily. An hour after school with Embry and Jacob was about as much as I wanted to stomach.

"Sure, of course. Thanks, anyway, Sam." She went back inside and closed the door and a minute later I was heading over to the high-school, grumbling under my breath about annoying teenage boys and how my afternoon could be better spent.

My irritation was making me hot and I wound the window down, hanging my arm out of it as I drove one-handed, feeling the breeze ruffling the loose strands of hair which had fallen out of my ponytail. All I wanted to do was drive down to the beach and throw myself in the sea to cool off. It hadn't seemed like a particularly hot day, but I was sure hot now. Maybe I was coming down with something.

I parked up at the school gates and waited. The doors had just opened and hordes of kids of differing sizes and ages were swarming out into the yard. Embry and Jacob appeared after a minute, gazing left and right as they looked for Tiffany's yellow Beetle.

"_Embry!__" _I yelled out of the window and leaned on the horn. His head spun around and his eyes lit on my truck. His face registered surprise and then delight as he elbowed Jacob and began to trot towards me. They reached my window seconds later.

"Your Mom's tied up," I said to Embry. "Said I'd fetch you."

"Cool! Thanks." Embry grinned widely, apparently not holding any grudge for my avoidance of him over the years.

"Well, get in then," I said.

He ran around to the other side of the truck and yanked the door open. Jacob just stood there, uncertain, tucking his long hair behind his ears and chewing his lip.

"And you," I added with a slight sneer. I couldn't help it. I didn't want to be bothered with them and I sure as hell didn't want to be responsible for them, which I now was until I dropped them home.

Jacob hurried around the truck and climbed up onto the seat. Embry scooted across to make room for him and his arm bumped against me as I put the truck in gear.

"Watch it," I muttered.

"Sorry." Embry shrank back a few inches. "You're hot, man, are you sick?"

So he'd noticed too.

"I dunno, maybe I'm getting the flu or something," I said, turning the truck back onto the road. "I'm going down to the beach for a swim; you two wanna tag along?"

"My Dad'll worry if I don't go straight home," Jacob said.

"No, he won't, it was him asked me to keep the pair of you out of his hair until dinner. I think he'd rather you do something in the fresh air than glue yourselves to the computer."

"Sure, ok, swimming sounds cool," Embry said eagerly. Jacob just nodded.

"Right." I began to drive in the direction of the beach ten miles distant, switching on the radio so I wouldn't have to talk to them. It was tuned to a country station and I left it at that, Joe Nichols crooning 'I'll Wait For You' filling the truck.

"Hell, Sam, that's just depressing," Embry said after a minute. "Can I change the station?"

"Whatever," I shrugged.

He fiddled with the dial until he found some Coldplay, then cranked up the volume. Eventually Coldplay gave way to Blink 182 and then Nickelback. I relaxed marginally. I liked Nickelback and they were way too loud to facilitate talking. I concentrated on guiding the truck down the steep track towards the pebbled beach, thinking that the hour or two I had to kill with the kids might end up not being so bad.

I parked the truck and shoved the door open, jumping down onto the gravel. The waves were rolling gently up the beach, but I knew the appearance of calm could be deceptive.

"How good are you two at swimming?" I asked as Embry and Jacob appeared beside me.

"Pretty good," Embry said. "Jake was on the swim team last year."

"Be careful, will you, there's usually an undercurrent here," I instructed, peeling my sleeveless shirt off with some relief as the cool breeze hit my hot skin. "I don't want to have to go and tell people you drowned."

"You sound like my Mom," Embry said, rolling his eyes.

"Well, I guess I'm….your brother," I said, almost choking on the words. "So do as I say. Fishing your bodies out of there isn't in my job description."

Embry turned to me and beamed from ear to ear as if I'd made his day. "Sure, Sam, anything you say," he said, completely without sarcasm.

Nodding, I left them and walked towards the water, unbuckling my belt as I went. I couldn't wait to get in the water. I was getting hotter and hotter. I kicked my boots off, dumped jeans and socks on top of them and headed into the sea in my shorts.

The water was much colder than usual for July and I felt instant relief as I plunged bodily into the waves. I didn't feel like I was getting the flu - in fact I felt unusually energetic and clear-headed – but something was certainly going on. I swam past the first line of breakers and turned, treading water as I looked for Embry and Jacob. They were waist deep, their hair still dry and blowing in the breeze.

I rolled onto my back and floated, staring up at the bright blue sky, small white clouds scudding rapidly ahead of the wind. I never did this; never took time for myself to just relax and enjoy something. The last few years had been too full of me trying to step into my useless father's shoes.

Every so often I righted myself and glanced back towards the beach, making sure I could still see the boys. They had finally got into the deeper water and I caught sight of their dark heads bobbing on the surface. The next time I looked they were wading back up to the beach, rubbing their arms as if they were cold. I stayed another ten minutes and then swam back, reluctantly leaving the cool water. I could have stayed in there for the rest of the day.

Embry and Jacob were already dressed again, sitting on the ground as they laced their boots, staring at me as if I'd come from Mars.

"Aren't you _cold_?" Embry said. "It's fucking freezing in there!"

"Don't say 'fuck'," I told him, thinking I probably sounded really old and boring.

"Well, it is fucking freezing," he repeated, ignoring me.

"You're just a pair of sissies," I scoffed. "It's not that cold." I picked up my jeans and dragged them up my damp legs somewhat reluctantly, knowing full well I'd be too hot again within minutes. I thrust my feet into my boots and gathered up my shirt on the way back to the truck, shoving it into a pocket in the dash rather than put it back on. At least the top half of me would stay reasonably cool.

By the time the truck had lurched its way back up the track to the road, I was hot again and becoming irritated, especially when Embry asked to stop at the snack cart in the lay-by to get cokes.

"Aw, come on, guys, I'm not buying you stuff," I muttered.

"We've got our own money," Jacob said.

I glanced past Embry at him. He had one eyebrow raised quirkily and a hopeful grin on his face.

"Alright." I halted the truck again and shifted it out of gear. "Hurry up."

They piled out and ran to the snack-stop, returning moments later with three bottles of coke and a burger each.

"You'll spoil your dinner," I grunted.

"Don't be such a grouch, you need to chill and act your age. We got you a coke." Embry shoved one of the bottles into my hand. "To say thanks."

My eyes widened in surprise. "Thanks, Embry," I said, gripping the bottle between my thighs while I got the truck back on the road. Once we were going straight, I picked up the bottle again, wrenched the cap off with my teeth and spat it out of the window. I took a long drink and then realised Embry and Jacob were both staring at me in astonishment again.

"What?" I said.

They glanced at each other and then just shrugged. I took another drink and ran my tongue around my teeth curiously. How had I done that? It was a wonder the metal hadn't damaged my mouth, but it had been easy; too easy. I became lost in my own thoughts as I drove back to the reservation, going over and over in my mind the changes I had noticed in myself in the last week or two and wondering what was happening to me. I had always been strong and well-defined, but my muscles seemed to have grown bigger almost overnight and I'd just ripped off a metal bottle cap with my teeth. I was burning up with some strange fever and I was filled with a sense of something about to happen; something about to happen to me.

"Hey, you drove right by Jake's place," Embry said suddenly and I jerked back to reality and slammed my foot down on the brake, making the truck lurch and skid on the smooth tarmac.

"Sorry." I waited while Jacob jumped out, shouted thanks at me and slammed the door. Then I gunned the engine again and dropped off Embry at his house just a short distance away.

"Thanks, Sam, I mean it," he gushed before he got out. "Maybe we can hang out again some time soon? I can always ditch Jacob if you'd rather."

I frowned slightly. I didn't exactly relish the thought of spending time with just Embry, especially with him being like this, all excited and chatty. If Jacob was around too at least I wouldn't have to talk to him all the time. I found I didn't really dislike him so much as not have any idea of what to say to him. It had always been just me and I didn't know how to treat a kid brother. However, I'd come to realise I couldn't really blame Embry for my father's antics, he was just a by-product of one of them. Part of me did want to get to know him.

"Yeah, maybe," I agreed absently. "I don't mind your friend hanging around though, he seems cool."

"What about the bonfire on Sunday?" Embry asked.

"What about it?"

"Are you going?"

"I guess."

"Well, maybe you could take us along. I mean, Mom'll never let me go and Mr Black won't let Jacob either, especially as it's on a school night. They might if you say you'll keep us out of trouble."

I sighed heavily. "Look, I'll talk to Billy, ok?" I said eventually. "If he says it's ok, then I'll think about it, but you're gonna have to convince your Mom."

"Awesome! Thanks!" Embry threw himself out of the truck now and banged the door closed, then dragged it open again and thrust his arm inside to rescue his forgotten backpack. To my surprise, I found myself grinning as I drove away.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Billy called me that evening to thank me. Jacob, who was apparently often morose and silent, had been talking excitedly about the trip to the beach and begging his father to let him and Embry go to the bonfire party.

"It's a school night," Billy said thoughtfully.

"Well, like I said to them, it's up to you and Ms Call," I told him. "I don't mind them coming with me."

"Alright. Back here no later than eleven," Billy said. "I'll arrange for Embry to stay the night here, it'll make things easier."

I heard later that Tiffany wasn't too thrilled with the idea of Embry going to the party, but Billy had persuaded her he would be fine with me looking out for him. So on Sunday evening I found myself picking up Embry and Jacob from Billy's house at seven. I stopped off at a gas station on the way out to fill up and grab a bag of snacks to take with us.

"Anything you want?" I asked before I headed across to the store.

"Beer!" grinned Embry.

"Be serious."

"Chips and chilli dip," Jacob said and added shyly, "Please."

"Get some condoms," Embry finished.

"Hell, Embry, you're fourteen!" I exclaimed.

"Better to have one and not need it, than need it and not have one," Embry quipped. Jacob snorted.

"I can't believe your Mom let you watch AVP," I said, remembering the amusing line from the movie.

"She didn't, I rented it and we skipped school and watched it when she was...um.." Embry's voice trailed off as if it had just dawned on him that I was the one instructed by their parents to watch them and would probably report back with any misdemeanours.

"I'm not gonna snitch," I said with a grin. I turned and went into the store, grabbed up assorted chips, hot and cool dips and a giant pack of Reese's peanut butter cups, then went to the cashier and dumped the lot on the counter. "I got gas too," I said, digging out my wallet.

The young guy who was about my age started to ring up the items, stuffing them into a paper sack as he went. I looked past his shoulder at the case of cigarettes and liquor behind him. Lower down were more intimate items.

"Throw a pack of Trojans in there too," I said on impulse, trying to sound casual as if it was something I bought on a regular basis.

"Sure thing." He turned, grabbed a pack and added them to the bag, winking at me. "Got a good night planned, then," he said. "That's twenty-two-forty."

I grinned and handed over the notes, wondering what in hell had made me buy condoms. I'd never had sex before and I certainly didn't plan to start at the Forks Summer Bonfire when I was supposed to be keeping an eye on two kids. I turned away and took the Trojans out of the bag, shoving them into my pocket before I reached the truck. Damn Embry, giving me stupid ideas.

Embry and Jacob dug into the chips as soon as I began to drive and munched constantly on the twenty-minute trip. All they seemed to think about was their stomachs and I tried to remember if I'd been so focused on food three years ago. When I parked up the truck, they left the remains of the snacks on the seat.

"You not gonna take these with you?" I said.

"Nah, we can eat them on the way home," Embry said. "We'll be having hotdogs off the barbeque in a minute."

"Right." I pushed the truck keys into my free pocket and the three of us walked over to join the rapidly swelling crowd on the waste ground to the east of Forks. A vast bonfire was well ablaze and three guys were manning a large barbeque. Music blasted from the open trunk of a car and girls and boys danced and laughed and drank beer.

"Hey, there's Jared," Jacob said suddenly.

"Guy from school," Embry added for my benefit. The boy he pointed out looked like he could well have been Quileute too, although I hadn't seen him around. He had two girls in tow and it wasn't long before Embry and Jacob took off to join them, leaving me to my own devices.

I bought a beer from a guy with a crate of bottles in his trunk, thinking one was unlikely to get me into any trouble and then wandered about, looking for anybody I might know.

"Hey, Sam, isn't it?" I stopped short as a girl appeared in front of me. She looked vaguely familiar and I wondered if I'd fixed her car or something. I couldn't help eyeing her up and down, taking in wavy blonde hair and painted lips, her curvy body squeezed into tight jeans and a little strappy top with no bra.

"Yeah," I smiled.

"Sophie. We were in the same math class last year. Well, occasionally. You probably don't remember me, I skipped class more often than not," she giggled. "Needless to say, I flunked the exam."

"What are you doing now?" I asked.

"Studying for a re-sit." She stuck her bottom lip out and wrinkled her nose. "Did you go on to college?"

"No, I'm working," I said. "I run an auto repair shop."

"Cool! A working man!" She stepped closer and slid her hand into mine. "You know, I always wanted to talk to you, but I never used to see you around outside class. Want to hang out with me?"

I'd have been a fool to say no, wouldn't I? A hot girl practically throwing herself at me. That never happened, probably because I kept to myself way too much. I glanced around and caught sight of Embry and Jacob sitting in a group with the other kids and guessed they could stay out of trouble for a while without me breathing down their necks. I squeezed Sophie's hand and offered her a mouthful of my beer. Within about forty-five minutes we were necking in the back of the truck, her breasts in my hands and her fingers fumbling with my zipper. Hormones raging, the speed at which things were progressing never crossed my mind. She was leading the way and I was quite happy going along with it. It was funny how things happened. It looked like I was going to be needing a condom after all.

Although it was my first time, it clearly wasn't Sophie's. She expertly put one of the condoms on me and kneeled astride me. I managed not to disgrace myself too much and lasted about three minutes, but it didn't stop there. We spent the next hour or so making use of the other two condoms in the pack, by which time I thought I was going at it like a pro and vowing to find myself a girlfriend instead of hiding away all the time. I considered asking to see Sophie again, but then dismissed the idea. Any girl who would spread her legs for a guy she'd known for an hour had probably been with half of Forks already and was likely to carry on with the other half, whether she had a boyfriend or not.

I kissed her goodbye just after ten o'clock and decided to go looking for Embry and Jacob. They were right where I'd left them, still with Jared although the girls had disappeared. The three boys were passing around a bottle of Jim Beam, all laughing raucously and clearly well on the way to being drunk.

"Oh, shit," I said under my breath. Billy would skin me.

"Embry!" I barked.

"Heeeyyyy, it's my big brother! Wanna drink?" Embry stuck his arm up in the air with the bottle clutched in his hand. I snatched it from him.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded.

"Just having a little drink. It's a party!" Embry slurred.

"Well, it's time we were going home. Get up," I grumbled.

"Party pooper," pouted Jacob, rolling his head back and looking up at me.

"Why don't you join us?" suggested Jared.

"Why don't you get yourself home?" I retorted, having no intention of escorting a third drunken boy. I tossed the bottle away somewhere behind me, grabbed Embry and Jacob by their arms and yanked them upright.

"Fuck, man, that hurt!" Embry complained, stumbling over his own feet. Jacob just groaned, then bent double and began to vomit.

"What were you thinking?" I asked Embry, letting go of him now. He staggered backwards and fell on his ass. "Your Mom's going to kill you. Worse, she's going to kill _me._ You think I _want_ to babysit a pair of brats?" I didn't even want to think about what Billy would say to me when he saw the state of Jacob.

Jacob had sunk to his knees and was still heaving. I let go of his wrist and left him alone to empty his stomach while I pulled Embry up again.

"You always hated me," Embry whined.

"Grow up." I scowled at him, feeling my temper rising. I was hotter than I'd been on Friday when we went swimming if that were possible and all I wanted to do was get home and stand under a cold shower. The smell of the barbeque, way over the other side of the field, was making me feel sick and I wondered how the scent of wieners was making it through the bonfire smoke.

"I'm sorry, Sam." Embry drooped against me suddenly, his legs unwilling to hold him up any longer. Then he jerked his head away quickly and began to throw up. I backed away from him and stood fuming and grimacing while he vomited repeatedly.

It was ten minutes before the pair of them were fit to walk to the truck, although I still had to hold onto them to keep them on their feet. I debated on putting them in the back of the pickup rather than risk them being sick in the cab, but worried one of them might fall out. I opened the passenger door and bundled them up onto the seat, grinding my teeth together and trying to swallow my anger. I wasn't looking forward to seeing Billy and in addition I was pissed that the stupid kids had ruined the aftermath of my first sexual encounter.

"You barf in my truck, you're dead!" I growled, gunning the engine.

"I feel like hell," Embry groaned.

"Good. You've only yourself to blame," I snapped at him. I was burning up and I paused to pull my shirt off before I began to drive back to La Push.

"You smell of perfume," Embry commented.

"Shut up!" My nostrils twitched as I picked up the scent myself which seemed stronger than everything else in the cab; the artificial cheesy smell of the leftover chips, whiskey and sickness on Embry's breath, the rubber mats on the floor, gas and oil. I didn't think about how I was suddenly noticing all these things and I seethed quietly for the rest of the trip home, wondering if Embry would guess what I had been doing.

Neither he nor Jacob said another word until we pulled up outside Billy's house, then they slid out of the truck with mumbled apologies and lurched towards the porch. I took off, deciding I would do better to wait until the morning before facing Billy's wrath; give him a chance to cool down a little.

Minutes later I parked up outside my own house and jumped out of the truck. My upper body was slick with sweat and I could feel my heart pounding, too fast and loud enough to echo in my ears. I leaned against the truck and lifted my hair off my neck. It was damp and sticking to my skin and I was briefly tempted to grab the knife I kept in a pocket of the truck's dash and hack off my ponytail. I could smell my own sweat and the damp earth and grass beneath my feet. What the hell was wrong with me?

My stomach lurched and for a moment I thought I was going to throw up. I breathed deep and the feeling went away, but my chest was tight and I felt as if a ball of molten lava was churning around inside it. I dropped forward onto my hands and knees, squeezing my eyes shut and groaning. My head spun and behind my eyelids I saw a swirling tunnel down which I seemed to be hurtling, my limbs twisting this way and that as I went. I opened my eyes again and I was still beside the truck, only it seemed curiously small. I was looking down at the roof.

I lowered my head and looked at my feet, seeing only a huge pair of black furry paws, something like ten feet below my head. What the fuck? I shook my head and took another look. I still had paws. I stretched out one arm and noticed that the paw I had lifted extended into a long furry leg. I was hallucinating. That slut, Sophie, must have put something in my beer. I had left Embry and Jacob to drink themselves stupid while I inadvertently took drugs and had sex with someone I'd never met. Billy would probably fire me, if he didn't kill me first. Great, Sam.

There was no way I could go home like this. My mother was probably waiting up for me and she'd see immediately I wasn't myself. Boy, was I not myself. I thought I was some kind of wild animal. I did the only thing I could think of to do. I ran. I ran until I couldn't run any more, leaving La Push behind, pounding into the woods and then racing onwards, wondering how it was that I could see where I was going in almost complete darkness. At last I stopped, panting, throwing myself onto the ground in the shelter of a fallen oak, vaguely concerned that my tongue was about a foot long and hanging out of my mouth and when I crossed my eyes and looked down my own nose, I could see a long black muzzle like a dog's. I could hear every little movement in the woods - leaves rustling, little animal feet pattering along the ground, the sound of a small creature eating its prey. I dropped my confused head down onto my paws - _arms_ - and then simply slept.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

When I opened my eyes it was daylight and from the position of the sun above the trees surrounding me I guessed it must be around midday. I was in the woods, but it was no part of the woods I recognised. Hell knew where I was. I sat up, stretched and yawned, gazing about me through half closed eyes, remembering the previous evening's antics vividly and grimacing. Last night I'd thought I had paws. I looked down and yes, they were still there. I leapt to my feet, jerking my head left and right, looking over each shoulder. I was covered in shaggy black fur and I had a fucking tail.

"_Oh, shit!_" I cried out loud and although I heard the words in my head, what came out of my mouth was a growl. What was I? A wolf? I turned into a _wolf_? How the hell did that happen? _Why_ did it happen?

Immediately the legend of the Quileute shape-shifters came to mind and I scoffed at myself for momentarily wondering if maybe it wasn't a legend; if maybe it was real and I was one of them. It had to be drugs. What the hell did Sophie put in my beer that made me see weird stuff more than twelve hours later?

It took me the rest of the day to realise it was real and I wasn't just seeing things. I really was a wolf. A ten foot wolf with thick black fur and claws like razor blades. What I didn't know was how I'd suddenly become one and how I was going to change back, if I even could change back. I certainly couldn't go home and face my mother and Billy. Was it just me? Did anyone else in La Push turn into a werewolf and howl at the moon? Shape-shifter, I corrected myself. Werewolves really were the stuff of fairytales, weren't they? I wasn't even sure of that any more. Everything was surreal and I almost expected to see Little Red Riding Hood skipping past me at any moment.

I wandered aimlessly through the trees, going over and over in my mind what had happened, unable to come up with any proper explanation. My anxiety increased as the day wore on and there was no sign of me turning back into Sam, the seventeen-year-old boy. At one stage I reached the edge of the trees and looked out at a highway, squinting at the sign above it. 'Forks – 78'. I was over ninety miles from home? I guessed a wolf could run a lot faster and further than a man.

I lost count of the days and nights I spent out there; I'd counted seven sunsets and sunrises and then stopped bothering. I was still a wolf and it looked as if I was to remain one. I would never be able to go home and I missed everybody. My Mom, Billy, even Embry and Jacob despite the fact I'd hardly gotten to know them. I longed for my home, my room, my old rusty truck, Mom's wonderful cooking and I cringed as I heard myself whining pathetically like a lost puppy. I couldn't even cry.

A few more days passed and eventually I decided to head back towards La Push. Even if I couldn't go home, maybe I could lurk in the woods nearby and I'd be able to see my Mom from there. The house was pretty close to the trees and just being able to see her would bring me comfort right now. I turned instinctively in the right direction and began to trot along a narrow path, feeling leaves and twigs catching at my fur as I went. I broke into a run, fascinated by the speed at which the tree trunks flew past me and guessed it was little more than an hour before I broke into the clearing where the stream was that I used to play in when I was a kid. I slowed and padded across to where the trees thinned out and I could see the meadow between the woods and my house. Dusk was approaching and I guessed Mom would be cooking. I imagined wistfully that I was my normal self and I was about to run to the house, fling open the door and yell, "Is dinner ready, I'm starving!"

I let out a startled growl as my body suddenly began to almost fold in on itself, my legs changing shape and angle, everything shrinking. In just seconds, I found myself crouching on the ground looking down at my hands. _Hands_! I held them up in front of my face, examining the human skin, the dirt under the nails, the arms extending back to my body. I stood up slowly, looking down at the rest of me. I was human again. The wolf was gone.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," I whispered. Now I just had to figure out how to get back to the house when I was stark naked.

I stayed where I was for perhaps an hour until darkness had fallen completely and I had seen Mom close the curtains in the lounge room. Then I ran across the meadow, glancing fearfully left and right lest anyone should see me. Thankfully no one seemed to be about and I reached the house unnoticed. I tiptoed around the back of the building to my room, relieved when I noticed the window open a crack. Mom always aired the room during the day, whether I was there or not. I reached inside, pushed the catch up and pulled the window wide, quickly climbing inside. As I swung myself down from the sill, my elbow knocked one of the picture frames off the dresser and it crashed to the floor. _Shit! _

The door flew open a second later.

"Sammy!" Mom turned her head away when her eyes landed on her naked son, crouched in front of the window. "Sorry."

I expected her to come out with a tirade of questions: 'Where have you been? Why haven't you been in touch? What were you thinking, letting Embry and Jacob drink and then just taking off for weeks?'

"Sam, take a shower and get some clothes on, honey, I'm just making dinner," she said.

I gaped at her and she simply smiled and backed out of the room, closing the door after her. It was almost like she had expected me to run off and then just turn up again out of the blue with nothing on. I puzzled over it while I showered and pulled on jeans and a t-shirt, then headed for the kitchen. I was nervous and not sure whether I was supposed to explain myself or not.

"Are you ok?" Mom asked, passing me a plate of steak and potatoes.

"Uh...yeah, I guess."

"It's Saturday," she went on. "I saw Billy today. You should go over and see him in the morning, he wants to talk to you about some things."

Saturday? So it must be thirteen days since I ran away.

"Sure," I said. I knew Billy would have plenty to say to me. 'You ran off and left the shop for two weeks without explanation, you're fired. I can't trust you. How could you let Jacob drink?' I groaned aloud.

"I would get an early night, sweetheart, you'll feel better tomorrow," Mom said.

"Yeah. I will." I finished the food and returned to my room. Mom's behaviour was just as weird as what had happened to me. Could she somehow know? I couldn't think about it; my head ached with exhaustion.

The minute I lay down I found my eyes wouldn't stay open and I slept like the dead. When I woke it was bright daylight and I hadn't changed position all night. I was still in my clothes, the bed covers smooth beneath me. I got up slowly and peered at myself in the mirror. Still human. I showered again, put on fresh jeans and shirt and went to get some breakfast before I plucked up the courage to go and see Billy. 'Grovel', I thought to myself. 'It's all you can do.'

I tapped gently on the door frame of Billy's house ten minutes later, almost hoping no one was home. The door swung open immediately as if my arrival had been observed.

"Hey, Sam," Jacob said.

"Hey. Is your Dad in?"

"He's always in."

"Yeah, of course."

"Where've you been?" asked Jacob.

"Uh...I guess I should talk to Billy first," I said. "Are you alright? Did you and Embry get in trouble?"

"We're grounded for a month with no allowance." He grinned sheepishly. "Like you said, it was our own fault. I'll never drink again, I thought I was gonna die."

I smiled. "Billy must be really mad with me."

"He was, but it's been two weeks. Everyone's just been wondering where you were. Have you seen Embry?"

"Not yet, I just got home last night, then came here first thing."

"Is she mad? Your Mom?" asked Jacob.

"No."

"You're lucky."

"Jacob! Who's at the door?" Billy shouted from within.

"It's Sam, Dad," he called back.

"Well, bring him in."

Jacob stood back to let me in and then closed the door. I followed him into the lounge where Billy was waiting.

"Take yourself off for an hour or so while I talk to Sam," he told Jacob.

"But I'm grounded," Jacob almost whispered.

"You'll still be grounded when you come back. Now go on."

"Where do you want me to...?" Jacob broke off and backed out of the door as Billy frowned up at him. "Alright, I'm gone."

I hovered uncomfortably until the front door closed after Jacob.

"Sit down, Sam, you're giving me a crick in my neck looking up at you," Billy told me. I dropped quickly onto a nearby chair.

"I'm real sorry, Billy," I blurted at once. "I took my eyes off them for maybe an hour, I didn't know they were gonna go and drink. I know you'll never trust me again..."

"Of course I trust you, Sam," Billy interrupted. "They're just kids, they'll learn from their mistakes. You got them home safe, that's what was important."

"But..." My mouth fell open in astonishment. He wasn't angry with me?

"Sam, I didn't want you to come here to talk about the bonfire, I want to talk about what happened after," said Billy.

"What do you mean?"

"You ran off; you've been gone two weeks."

"I know. I...uh...I'm sorry about the shop..." I began apologising again, hanging my head and staring at the worn carpet under my feet.

"Forget the shop. Steven opened up for servicing and urgent jobs," interrupted Billy, referring to the old guy who had been running things before I started working there and who had taught me everything I knew about cars and motorcycles. Nearing retirement age, he had been glad to take a step back.

"I should have told you earlier," Billy went on. "I knew it was going to happen soon, I just didn't realise how soon. You know the legend; I'm guessing by now you know it's more than that." He met my eyes and I saw in them complete understanding.

"Are you...?"

He shook his head with a touch of regret on his face. "I'd always hoped. The last pack was in my grandfather's time. Their descendents were me, your father, Harry Clearwater, Quil Ateara - Old Quil, I mean - and a few others. The phasing starts whenever vampires come through Washington. They haven't been seen in a long time."

What? Vampires? I shook myself. I guessed if I could turn into a wolf, then the vampires I'd read about could be real too. I stayed silent and listened while Billy told me more than the legends and the old books we read as children had ever said. In a nutshell, vampires fed off human prey and we hunted them down in order to protect the citizens of Forks and other nearby towns. Except for the Cullens. The Cullens were a clan of vampires with whom an age-old truce had been formed. They left humans alone and we in turn left them alone. I didn't ask why; I had too much to take in as it was.

"So what am I supposed to do?" I asked. "Are there any more like me?"

"Not yet, but there will be. You're the first of a new pack. I suspect Jacob will become one, but not yet, he's too young."

"What about Embry?" I asked.

"I don't think so."

"We have the same father," I reminded him.

"But Tiffany's not Quileute. The gene will have become diluted. Sometimes with one parent it's still strong enough, but mostly not."

"What about the Clearwaters?" I asked. "You said Harry was one of the descendents, so Seth and Leah could be."

"It's unusual - not unheard of, but unusual - for a female to phase. Seth, maybe. He's still a child, though. The Camerons and the Lahotes have the gene too. They each have a boy - Jared and Paul. You might have seen Jared, he's one of Jacob and Embry's school friends."

"I saw him at the bonfire," I remembered.

"Young Quil's likely to turn," Billy added. "You know him, don't you?"

"Vaguely, it's a while since I saw him around."

"He and Jacob and Embry used to be as thick as thieves. They had some silly falling out a few weeks back, but I guess they'll get over it."

"So what happens now?" I asked.

"When any of them start to display signs of phasing, I'll get to hear about it. Then they'll be told what to expect. I wasn't quick enough with you and I'm sorry for that. It must have been a shock."

"You have no idea," I said. "I thought someone at the bonfire must have slipped something in my drink."

Billy smiled.

"How did you know I was about to...phase?" I asked.

"The heat in you, that's the most obvious sign to others. Our body temperature becomes around ten degrees higher than usual. Also muscle growth and abnormal strength. Sometimes extreme rage."

I nodded. He had shaken my hand. I'd been burning up on and off for days before it happened. I talked to him a while longer, gradually feeling more at ease with what I was although I doubted I would be any less panicked when I phased again. I just hoped it wasn't going to happen too soon.

The conversation ended when Jacob returned, exactly one hour after he had left. He knocked, opened the front door and then called out.

"Dad?"

"Come in, son, we're done gossiping," Billy responded, smiling at me. "Anything you want to talk about, you know where I am."

"Yeah, thanks, Billy." I stood up, paused to shake his hand and then headed out, nodding at Jacob as I passed him in the hallway. He looked as if he wanted to say something, maybe ask what I'd been talking about with his father, but he just nodded back and went into the lounge. I let myself out and went home. I had a lot to think about for the rest of the day.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

I didn't really see anyone for the next couple of weeks other than my Mom and Steven. I went back to work in the shop on Monday and did my best to carry on as normal, but all I could think about was my time in the woods as a wolf and I was filled with anxiety that I could phase again at any time. I realised extreme emotions could bring it on and I made an effort to stay calm as much as possible. By the time another two weeks had passed and nothing had happened, I began to relax.

On Sunday morning Embry called me to say that he and Jacob had now been 'released from prison' and asked if they could hang out with me. Unusually for me, I found that I was longing for some company and invited them to spend the afternoon at the beach with me. Embry was delighted and I picked them up from Billy's at one o'clock.

I kept expecting Embry to ask what had happened to me after the bonfire, but he never mentioned it. It was Jacob who spoke up later on when Embry had run off up the track to the snack-stop to fetch some drinks. We were sitting side by side throwing pebbles into the sea while we waited for him to come back.

"Dad told us not to say anything, but we've been wondering where you went off to after the bonfire," Jacob said.

I wasn't quite sure how to respond and paused to throw another pebble while I thought about it. Obviously I couldn't tell him the truth.

"I daren't show my face for a while, I thought Billy would kill me for letting you drink," I joked.

"He wasn't that mad."

"I know, it wasn't that. I just had to be by myself for a while. I had some stuff to think about."

Jacob nodded. "I can understand that, I like my own company too sometimes."

"I guess you had too much of it just lately, though," I smiled.

"Yeah, I wasn't even allowed to use the phone."

I continued chatting to him until Embry came back with the drinks and later we went swimming. The sea was much less cold than it had been the last time and we stayed in until our fingers turned wrinkly. When we returned home, Billy invited me to stay to dinner and ordered in pizzas. I called my Mom to let her know and it was past eight o'clock before I left Billy's house.

I got to know both Embry and Jacob much better that day and found that I liked them a lot. After this it got to be a habit that I would close the shop early on Fridays and pick them up from school, then hang out at Billy's all evening, making plans for things to do at the weekend. Despite the fact that they were three years younger than me, they became my closest friends. I'd never socialised so much before and began to wonder how I had got through seventeen years of my life without regularly having other people in it.

Sometimes other kids would join us on a Saturday or Sunday to do things together and I got to know a few of Embry and Jacob's other friends. Quil, with whom they had fallen out, frequently began to join the group, apparently forgiven for whatever it was he'd done. I liked him well enough although we were never that close.

I got to know Jared whom I'd seen briefly at the bonfire and discovered he had been in just as much trouble as Embry and Jacob after that night, not only for getting home drunk, but for having stolen a bottle of his father's best bourbon. He had been grounded also and had to replace the bottle from his allowance.

Then there was Paul, who we didn't see all that often which I came to be relieved about. He was a nice enough kid, but surly and quick-tempered with it. I found I often couldn't be myself with him because he loved to create arguments, which once or twice escalated to the point where I had to swallow my anger and back down for fear that I may lose control of myself and phase. I hated having to suppress my feelings that way and started to make excuses to stay home if I knew Paul was going to be joining in the weekend activities. I hoped it wasn't too obvious that I was keeping out of his way.

It was the middle of October when Leah Clearwater started following us around. She was the same age as me and something of a tomboy, bored with her girlfriends and wanting to do something fun and exciting. Embry, Jacob and Quil weren't too thrilled to have her with us, thinking they would have to behave differently and be careful what they said, but after one afternoon they changed their opinions.

She was just as keen to go to the beach and dive into the frigid water as winter approached as we were; she was boisterous and confident and said what she thought and when I let her drive my truck she slammed her foot to the floor and pushed the old rust-bucket to its limit. She quickly became a permanent addition to the group and I thought she was amazing. It seemed she thought the same of me as when I asked her to go to the Halloween party with me, she responded by standing on tiptoe to give me a light kiss on the lips.

"Thought you'd never ask," she whispered. "Most guys don't like me; they think I'm too much for them."

I didn't think she was too much for me; I guess I thought we were about equal. She was tough and forthright, but at the same time she could be sensitive and gentle too. We began dating right after Halloween and although she continued to hang out with me and the guys, I started to save Sundays just for her and stopped spending so much time with them. As the relationship developed, gradually I found myself more with Leah and less with Embry, Jacob and the others. She persuaded me that I spent too much time with them and that she wanted me to herself and in turn, they complained I was pulling away from my friends in favour of a girl, which would probably end at some point, leaving me alone.

I didn't think it would end. I was going through that besotted stage of a first proper relationship and found myself wondering if I would Imprint on her. Billy had told me a little about that, but not much. He'd indicated it was about a shape-shifter finding 'the right one' and that after Imprinting, they would never be parted. I thought I should probably find out more on the subject, but so far hadn't found time to speak to Billy or delve into his books.

So with Leah wanting my undivided attention and the guys feeling rebuffed, I found myself somewhat torn and one Saturday right before Christmas I took off in the truck alone, deciding to put some distance between myself and all of them for a few hours. I was tense and worked up and by the time I parked the truck on the deserted pebble beach in the late afternoon, I was struggling to control myself. I could understand both Leah and the guys' points of view, but I was stuck in the middle. I began to think about phasing, wondering that I'd managed to avoid getting in a situation where it would just happen since that first time. Billy had said eventually you could phase back and forth when you chose to and I guessed if I knew when it was going to happen it would be much less alarming.

There was a large overhang close to the base of the cliff and I knew if I stood under it, no one up on the road would be able to see me if they looked down. With the beach deserted and dusk approaching I doubted I would be caught. I began to pull off my clothes, not wanting them to get damaged as my jeans had that other time. My breathing quickened and I began to feel curiously excited. I remembered how I'd changed back to human form before - by simply imagining myself that way - and I wondered if that would work now. I pictured myself as my wolf self, thick black fur, sharp claws, waving tail, squeezing my eyes shut for emphasis. Absolutely nothing happened. I tried it a few times, but it clearly wasn't going to work. I tried to remember how it had happened before. I'd been furious and worried, dealing with two silly drunk boys, thinking about how much trouble I would be in. Anger. I summoned up Paul in my imagination; the last argument I'd had with him, something ridiculous it had been, about girls, but it blew up until I'd been seething and I'd had to walk away, knowing he was laughing at me. Damn Paul. I could have got along with him ok if I hadn't always been aware I'd be in trouble if I let him wind me up. I thought about what I would have said to him that time and felt the heat in me mounting and then suddenly I was plunging into that swirling tunnel, landing squarely on all four paws seconds later.

It seemed to have happened much faster than before and I grinned triumphantly that I had made it occur myself. It wasn't at all scary when it didn't take you by surprise. I intended to change back quickly, but once I was a wolf I found myself thinking about everything that irritated me and I stayed that way for over an hour, venturing away from the overhang as darkness fell and standing on the rocks close to the sea, tasting the salt in the air and feeling the cold wind ruffling my fur. I would have to do something about that; my fur was too long and kept blowing into my eyes. I wondered if it was because my human hair was almost down to my waist. It'd be a shame to cut it off - I hadn't had a haircut since I was about six years old - but I supposed there were more important things. Leah wouldn't be pleased though; she loved my hair. Hers was short and boyish in contrast.

Thinking about Leah, I relaxed and the wolf left me. I guessed it would need some practise, but at least I could summon it when I wanted. Maybe eventually I would be able to keep it at bay and not walk away from a fight.

I pulled my clothes on quickly, still warm despite the icy air, but longing to get back to La Push and see everyone. I would just have to learn to share myself a little better and keep all of them happy.

I drove back to Billy's and found him alone for once. He yelled, "Come in!" in response to my loud knock. I headed into the lounge room where he was watching a documentary on Native Americans. He picked up the remote control and flicked the television off as I walked in.

"Garbage," he muttered. "They know nothing. How are you, Sam?"

"Great," I said, dropping onto the sofa. "Where is everyone?"

"They've gone to Jared's," Billy said. "Leah came by a little while ago to see if you were back. I thought something must be wrong."

"No, I just wanted some space. I...uh..." I grinned sheepishly. "I went off and tried...phasing."

"How did that go?"

"Well, I got there and back, but it needs some work," I smiled. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Sure."

"Should I cut my hair? Will it make a difference to the fur?"

Billy nodded. "I'm guessing you're a pretty shaggy wolf right now. Get Tiffany to do it, she's good at cutting hair."

"Ok. What about Imprinting? You didn't tell me a lot."

"I thought you had enough to digest for one day." Billy smiled at me and then began to tell me more.

There were two theories on Imprinting. One was that it was nature's way of ensuring a shape-shifter found a suitable mate who would give him the best chance of successful reproduction later. The other was that it paired the shape-shifter with someone who would help them to become the strongest they could be and support them the best.

"Which do you believe?" I asked.

"I'm sort of up in the air on that," Billy admitted. "It's two generations since there were any in La Push. Stories get passed down and altered as they go and the books mention both theories. You're going to have to figure this one out for yourself, Sam."

"So how will I know when it happens?"

"You'll know. You'll be looking in her eyes and for a moment everything else - the whole world - will just disappear and that person will be all there is."

"Wow," I said, unable to come up with anything more eloquent as I thought about it. I couldn't help thinking that Leah was tough and strong and would probably help me be stronger and if we had kids...

"There's one other thing," Billy said, interrupting my thoughts. "It's automatic; instinctive. You can't pick the person you Imprint on; they're chosen for you. You may find someone that you want it to be, but it doesn't always happen that way. You could be in love with someone and still Imprint on another. If that happens, you'll hurt the one you're currently with and that in turn will hurt you."

"Great," I muttered. "This is complicated." I wasn't encouraged by what I'd heard. I _wanted_ it to be Leah. What if 'nature' or 'fate' or whatever didn't choose her for me? I got to my feet.

"Don't dwell on it, Sam, just because you phased recently doesn't necessarily mean anything else will happen straight away. Come and talk to me again any time you want, or you can read some of those." He lifted his hand and indicated the bookshelves behind him. I knew there were dozens I had never even opened.

"Yeah. I'll do that. Thanks," I said, backing to the door. "I think I'll go and get a haircut," I added randomly and let myself out.

Hell. As if I didn't already have enough to worry about. Now I'd be constantly analysing what I had with Leah, wondering if it really was 'the real thing' or if I was suddenly going to Imprint on some other girl, maybe one I didn't even know. Like Sophie for instance. I shuddered. Why couldn't I have just been a normal kid? Why had the shape-shifter gene decided to pick my generation to make its appearance? Which now raised another question. It had been four months and no one else had phased or was even showing signs of it. When were they going to catch me up? Having friends, or even one friend, who was going through the same thing would be a relief.

I climbed into the truck and drove over to Tiffany's. At least this one task was easy. I knocked on the door.

"Hello, Sam," Tiffany Call said in surprise as she opened the door. "Embry's not here, he's at Jared's."

"I know. I came to get a haircut. If you don't mind," I said. I'd gotten to quite like her over the past few months. I figured it probably wasn't her fault my Dad had taken a liking to her. He'd taken a liking to a lot of people and I couldn't hate them all because of him. Besides, I was really close to Embry now, I couldn't carry on avoiding his mother.

"Come on in," Tiffany said, holding the door wide. "You do look as if you could use a little trim." She eyed my straggly ponytail which was hanging over my left shoulder, the ends of it brushing my belt buckle.

"I want more than a trim," I said. I pulled the elastic band off my hair and sat down on the stool Tiffany indicated. "I want it short." I touched my neck and indicated a spot level with the lobe of my ear.

"Oh, Sam, are you sure? You've got lovely hair," Tiffany said. "Why do you want to cut it all off?"

"It gets in my way while I'm working," I told her. "I feel like a change. I guess I can grow it back if I want."

"Well, if you're sure." She placed a towel around my neck and took a pair of scissors and a comb out of a drawer.

"I'm sure."

Fifteen minutes later I drove home, my hair closely cropped and neatly shaped, the severed hair tied with a leather cord and wrapped in a hankerchief. "Your Mom might want this," Tiffany had said. "I know I would if Embry cut his hair."

I spent that evening alone in my room, going over and over what Billy had told me and thinking about Leah. I really hoped she was the one for me.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

As 2004 rolled into 2005, things began to change. I'd been feeling in limbo in a way, waiting for something to happen and finally it did. First Leah decided she was ready to take our relationship to the next level. We had been together almost three months and I'd never put any pressure on her, knowing I was her first boyfriend. I could be considerate like that when I wanted to be and she appreciated it. Then one Sunday she invited me over to her house while her parents and Seth were off visiting some other family members out of state. One thing led to another and I spent the night with her. Ironically I found myself thankful I'd had that experience with Sophie. At least I knew what it was all about. I'd have hated to be fumbling around not knowing what I was doing, rough and clumsy and hurting Leah. As it was I managed to take my time and succeeded in not causing her too much discomfort.

"I love you, Sam," she whispered afterwards, gazing into my eyes from just inches away.

"Love you too," I replied.

I hoped that this new development would cause me to Imprint on her, but nothing happened that night, or during subsequent weeks and I always had the niggling feeling that it never would. What was it Billy had said to me? 'You could be in love with someone and still Imprint on another.' I dreaded that happening. When I'd said I loved Leah, I meant it. She was the most important person in my life and I didn't want anything to spoil that.

As spring came, at last my wolf self was no longer alone. Billy called me to say that Mr Cameron was concerned about Jared. He had been complaining of a high temperature and the usually relaxed and laid back boy had become irritable and bad-tempered. Whether or not he was growing bigger physically was difficult to see, with everyone bundled up in sweaters and jackets during the unseasonably cold March.

"I want you to talk to him," Billy said.

"_What?"_

"You're the first, Sam, the pack leader. It's your responsibility to help and teach the others."

"But...but, what will I say to him?" I stammered.

"You remember what I said to you, right?"

"Yeah."

"Use that as a starting point. You'll figure it out as you go along," Billy said.

"Oh, shit," I muttered after he had hung up. Suddenly I was terrified that what seemed like an enormous responsibility had been placed upon me. At the same time I was excited. Finally, someone else who I would be able to share this with and I guessed I was lucky Jared was the first. It could have been worse; it could have been _Paul_. Jared was so easy, nothing ever phased him. I grinned to myself at the pun. Now I just had to figure out how I could get him alone.

I went outside, intending to get in my truck and drive over to his house, but much to my surprise and relief I saw him heading into the woods alone on the other side of the meadow. I had no idea what he could be doing, but I didn't much care. Suddenly everything was easier. I left the truck where it was and jogged across the meadow to the trees. By the time I stepped into the woods, he was around fifty yards ahead of me, strolling slowly along the path.

"Hey, Jared!" I caught him up quickly as he stopped walking and turned. "What are you doing out here?"

"I had to get out of the house and be by myself," he said. "My Dad's acting really weird, fussing over me like he thinks I've got some incurable disease or something. It feels like the flu, I've been all hot and sweaty for a couple of days and sort of achy."

"I had that in July last year," I said.

"Summer flu?"

"No, it wasn't that." I started to chat about it casually, like it was nothing important. Jared just listened and stared at me, his eyebrows rising once or twice, but that was all. When I stopped talking, he frowned slightly.

"Is this true?"

"Yeah, it's true."

"I guess it must be, I've never known you to bullshit anyone," he said.

"You don't seem bothered by this," I said in surprise.

He shrugged. "I always liked reading about the shape-shifters. I used to think it'd be pretty cool if it wasn't just a story and I was one."

"Well, this was easier than I expected." I relaxed and went on to tell him everything else I knew about phasing, Imprinting and the vampires.

"Is it just us?" he asked me.

"So far. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to tell you who else might phase."

"Don't then," Jared said. "I hope Paul's not one of us, he'd probably kill someone. So how do I do it? You said just imagine yourself as a wolf?"

"It helps if you're pissed about something," I said. "You want to have a try?"

"Sure."

"Take your clothes off or they'll get ripped to shreds," I added.

We turned away from each other, stripped off and within a minute or two I had phased. I'd practised a few times since my last episode down at the beach and found that I could do it now just by thinking really hard about it. I didn't have to get myself worked up first. I turned back to look at Jared, who was still human and now staring at me in admiration.

"Wow," he said. "You're huge."

"_Concentrate. Don't look at me,"_ I thought. It became apparent that he couldn't pick up on my thoughts as he continued to stare for a couple of minutes, but then he sat down on the ground and closed his eyes. I watched, curious to know what the change actually looked like. It took maybe five minutes or longer and then suddenly Jared began to shiver and twitch. His body and limbs suddenly changed shape in a rush, almost too fast for the eye to see and then he was standing in front of me on all fours, his head on a level with mine. His fur was a sort of mid-brown colour, eyes a darker shade.

"_Hey, I did it,"_ he said in wonder.

"_I'm impressed_," I replied. _"Didn't even look that difficult."_

_"I sort of meditated, visualised myself like this. Does the telepathy work in human form?"_

"_I don't think so. You didn't hear what I was thinking before you changed,"_ I said.

_"So what now?"_

"_I think that's all. Just don't talk about this to any of the others," _I told him. _"Not until after they join us._"

_"Sure." _Jared sat down on his haunches and closed his eyes. We both phased back at the same time and I couldn't help feeling a little jealous that he'd taken to it so easily. I'd had such a struggle. Still, I hadn't had a friend helping me along either. I began to feel a hint of pride instead. I couldn't take all the credit, but I supposed part of the reason it was easier for him was because of me.

It was just two weeks later that Paul became the third pack member. I had picked up Embry and Jacob from school in the truck as usual on Friday afternoon and stopped off at the shop as I'd left my wallet there. Quil and Jared arrived while we were there, having seen my truck outside and decided to see if we wanted to hang out for a while. Rather than go off to anyone's house we stayed in the garage, the others interested in the classic Corvette I was currently working on. It needed an engine rebuild and the customer had told me to take my time and do it when I wasn't busy as he wasn't in any hurry.

Jacob and Embry decided to go on to Billy's and wait for the rest of us there and not long after they had gone, Paul turned up. The minute I saw him I glanced over at Jared and the look in his eyes told me he was seeing the same thing. It was still freezing cold outside and Paul was wearing only shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt. His arms and chest were bulging with muscles that hadn't been there the last time we'd seen him just a few weeks ago. In addition he had a black eye.

"Hey, Paul," Jared said. "How are you?"

"Alright," he grunted.

"Been fighting?" I said casually, referring to the black eye.

"Looks like it, doesn't it?" he said through his teeth.

"Here, have a coke." Jared passed him a bottle and I noticed his fingers brush Paul's hand as he let go of it. Paul glanced at him and scowled. He walked over to the old couch in the corner and threw himself onto it, necking the coke in one.

"He's burning up," Jared whispered to me.

"Quil, why don't you go over to Billy's, we'll catch you up," I said. "Just got to do a couple of things and lock up."

"Sure, ok." Shrugging, Quil finished his own drink and set off without questioning why he couldn't just wait for us.

I knew we had to talk to Paul right away. I was only surprised that Billy hadn't told me about the state of him. He couldn't know. I was wary because Paul was already in a lousy mood, but he was often that way so I guessed we should just get on with it. I stayed by the refrigerator with Jared, eyeing Paul on the couch.

"Paul, have you noticed anything weird about yourself lately?" I said. I wasn't sure how to do this. I could imagine him phasing suddenly and attacking me.

"Weird? What the fuck do you mean?" He sat up and glared at me.

"High temperature; muscle growth..."

"Yeah, why?"

I launched into a rapid explanation. 'Spit it out and hope for the best,' I told myself.

"Bullshit!" Paul interrupted before I had finished, getting to his feet. "What are you on? You believe this crap, Jared?"

"I'm one of them too," Jared said quietly.

Paul snorted. "Whatever the hell you two are using, get me some, will you?" he said. "Anything to get away from...!"

He phased so rapidly he didn't even have chance to finish his sentence. One second he was Paul, barking angrily at Jared and me, the next he was a wolf, his fur a silver-grey colour, lips drawn back from his teeth, snarling like he intended to eat us. Jared backed away and I willed myself to phase immediately, not even bothering to undress, too concerned that Jared and I were at a disadvantage. In seconds I was eye to eye with Paul, hearing his thoughts. I backed away a couple of steps as I listened with growing horror.

_"Great, if this had to happen I wish it had been this morning, then I could have really hurt that bastard! Piece of shit, beating Mom like that, I'd have killed him, ripped his fucking head off, he'd never have got to lay one finger on me again, or her!" _

In addition to the words running through his head, I could see the scene he was replaying in his mind. His mother cooking breakfast, taking her eye off the eggs for just a minute because Paul's father wanted her attention on something. The eggs burned and Mr Lahote lost his temper, yelling at her. For a moment she argued back. 'If you gave me just a second like I asked they wouldn't have burned.' His fist colliding with her cheekbone, knocking her to the ground. Paul rushing into the room, yelling. 'Leave her alone!' His father turning, throwing another punch, blacking Paul's eye and tossing him against the wall.

I realised I was shivering. It was no surprise Paul was so angry all the time, having to live like that.

_"Paul."_ I took a couple of steps towards him. _"You should have told me. Us. Maybe we could have..."_

_"Why would I tell you anything, Sam?"_ His response seemed to explode out of his mind at me in his rage. _"Since when were you interested in anything I have to say? You do everything you can to avoid me!"_

_"I'm sorry,_" I said at once. _"You're right. But not because I'm not interested. Because you're so angry all the time, always wanting to fight. I kept walking away because I was scared I'd lose control and phase. I'd have scared you all and I could've hurt one of you. Maybe if I'd known why..."_

_"Well, now you do._"

"Come on, guys," Jared spoke up suddenly. "You're not gonna kill each other, are you?"

_"No." _Paul and I both replied at the same time, swinging our heads towards Jared. Of course he couldn't hear us. All he saw was a pair of ten foot wolves staring at him, Paul with his teeth still showing.

"Ok, ok," said Jared, raising his hands in surrender. "I'm staying out of it."

_"How do you turn back?" _Paul asked me.

"_Imagine yourself back in your human form. It takes some practise. I was stuck like this for two weeks the first time I phased."_

_"Superb."_ Even in telepathy, he sounded sarcastic.

_"It helps if you relax,"_ I added.

_"Sure, Sam."_

I turned away from him and stopped thinking about his anger and about what had happened to him. Both of those things wouldn't help me phase back. I breathed deep, imagining myself human, naked and crouching on the floor and suddenly I was doing just that. I heaved a sigh of relief. I hurried into the small office in the corner and grabbed a spare pair of cut-off jeans. I kept a stash of them in the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet now, just in case. I pulled out a second pair and walked out of the office. Paul was still a wolf and Jared was standing with his back to the wall, watching Paul warily.

"It's ok," I said to Jared. "We weren't gonna hurt each other, or you. We were just talking."

"What about?" Jared asked.

From the corner of my eye I saw the silver-grey form of Paul advance on me quickly and an angry snarl came right by my ear before I could even turn to look at him; a warning to keep my mouth shut.

"He was just asking how to phase back," I said to Jared calmly. "Obviously he didn't master it yet."

Paul backed off. Considering he was closer to Jared than anyone else, I was surprised he hadn't talked about things to him.

"Maybe you should take off," I said to Jared now. "Go over to Billy's. I'll be over in a bit."

"Sure, ok." Jared nodded at Paul and walked out. Paul paced backwards and forwards in front of me and I guessed he would find it even more difficult to phase back with me standing looking at him. I put the spare pair of cut-offs on top of the refrigerator.

"You'll be wanting those," I said and went over to the couch. I sat down, picked up the Corvette manual which lay on the small table nearby and began to leaf through the pages, doing my best to ignore Paul. I could hear his claws clicking on the concrete floor as he walked up and down. About ten minutes later he sat down next to me, human and wearing the cut-offs.

"So I guess it's not bullshit, then," he said with a half laugh. I put the manual down.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah."

"What about your Mom?"

"She's in the hospital."

"Shit, Paul," I groaned. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I'd have got a worse beating than usual."

"Where's your Dad?"

"Probably at home working his way through a crate of beer or something stronger."

"Do you want to stay with one of us tonight?" I offered.

"No, I better get back." He got up again.

"Well, call if you want anything," I said. "We should catch up over the weekend anyway, I've got a lot more to tell you about what we are."

"Sure. Ok." He headed to the door, then looked back over his shoulder. "Thanks, Sam." A second later he was gone.

I found a t-shirt to put on and switched the lights off before I locked up. I felt awful about what Paul was having to go through and in addition I worried that he would be in danger of hurting or killing his father if the man's violence caused him to phase in the future. I guessed the best thing for me to do was talk to Billy about it the first opportunity I got. He always knew what to do, whatever the circumstances.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

None of us saw Paul all day on Saturday and I began to worry that something had happened to him. I tried calling him in the evening, but no one picked up and I became convinced something bad must have happened. I knew there wasn't much I could do there and then, but I went over to Billy's first thing on Sunday morning to talk to him about Paul. I hadn't had the chance on Friday, with Billy's house full of people. Now Jacob opened the door and seemed surprised to see me so early.

"Is your Dad up?" I asked.

"Yes, he's having breakfast. Did you want to talk to him?"

"Yeah."

"Should I disappear?"

"Um..." I didn't want to ask him to leave his own house, but at the same time I didn't want to break Paul's confidence either. "Is that ok? It's not something I can tell you right now," I said.

"Sure." Jacob was used to various people descending on Billy for advice and now grabbed a jacket, shoving his feet into sneakers. "Dad, Sam's here!" he shouted. "I'm going over to Embry's!" A moment later he was gone and I headed through to the kitchen to find Billy.

"Hello, Sam. Is something wrong?" His brow furrowed and he could obviously see from my face that there was a problem.

"Paul phased last night," I blurted out.

"That was sudden," Billy said. "Mick never said anything. I can't believe he wouldn't have noticed some sort of change."

"Mick Lahote's seeing everything through the bottom of a bottle," I said bitterly. "I doubt he'd notice if Paul phased right in front of him." For a moment I thought Billy might chastise me for my lack of respect to Paul's father, but he merely frowned.

"What's been going on, Sam?" he asked.

"Mr Lahote drinks and beats Paul and his mother. Paul's never said anything, but I could see his thoughts last night when we both phased." I grimaced, remembering the vivid scene and the violence in Paul. "Mrs Lahote's in the hospital," I continued. "I asked Paul to stay with one of us last night, but he insisted he had to go home. Like he was scared of what his father would do if he didn't. I'm worried about what he'll do to his father, now he's phased."

"Was anyone else with you when this happened?" asked Billy.

"Just Jared, but he didn't phase so he doesn't know much."

"Here, call Paul and see if he's ok," Billy said, passing me the telephone. "Then we'll decide what to do."

I dialled the Lahotes' number and seconds later heard their phone ringing, but it went on and on and no one picked up. I put the receiver down.

"No answer."

"I'm tempted to call Charlie, but I don't really want to do that if Mick's calmed down," Billy said, referring to his friend Charlie Swan, who was a cop in Forks. "I wish I could go myself."

"I'll go," I said at once. "I'll take Jared along."

Billy sighed heavily. "Well, just be careful, don't get yourselves hurt and keep control," he said. "Hopefully everything will be alright."

I called Jared and asked him to meet me at the end of the street where Paul lived, then I got in the truck and drove over there myself. Jared arrived on his bicycle moments after I did. He threw it into the back of the truck and joined me in the cab.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Paul didn't want me to say anything on Friday, but when we both phased I heard some things. His Dad gave him that black eye and his Mom's in the hospital. Billy wants us to go and check he's ok."

"Shit!" exclaimed Jared. "Do you think he's hurt or something?"

"I don't know, I guess we'll soon find out." I drove the truck halfway down the street and parked outside Paul's. "If his Dad's home, we're just calling to see if Paul wants to hang out today," I said. Jared nodded and followed me up the path.

The front door was standing open a few inches which was worrying and Mick Lahote's car was missing from the driveway. I rang the doorbell and knocked hard on the frame, but there was no answer.

"Paul? Mr Lahote?" I called. There was no reply and I pushed the door wider.

"You're not going in, are you?" Jared said anxiously.

"We have to. Paul!" I made my way down the hallway, glancing through the open doors on each side. A lounge, two bedrooms, then a bathroom. "Anyone home?"

I reached the kitchen at the end and stopped suddenly, Jared running into the back of me with a grunt. One of the breakfast bar stools lay on its side and smashed crockery littered the wood floor. An empty whiskey bottle stood by the sink and another still partially full lay on its side, some of its contents spilled on the counter.

"Oh, fuck," Jared said from behind me. I ignored him and stepped around the end of the breakfast bar. Paul was lying on the floor the other side of it, blood covering the lower part of his face from a heavy nosebleed, a dark bruise covering a lump on his left temple. He was breathing, but seemed to be unconscious. I dropped to my knees beside him and touched his shoulder.

"Paul?"

"Shall I call an ambulance?" Jared asked.

Paul groaned suddenly. "No..."

"You're hurt, you need to get checked out," I said.

"No," he repeated.

"Did your Dad do this?" I asked.

"He was mad that my Mom's not here to make him breakfast."

"Jared, call Billy," I said.

"No, don't," Paul protested weakly, shoving my hand off his arm and struggling to sit up. He slumped onto his back again seconds later. "Don't tell anyone."

"Billy knows, he sent us over here," I said. Jared was already on the phone and when he hung up after a brief conversation, he reported that Billy wanted us to take Paul over to the Clearwaters if he refused to go to hospital. Leah's mother, Sue was a nurse and she would be able to ascertain whether Paul needed proper medical attention or not. After a brief protest, Paul agreed to this, but insisted we help him clean the blood up before he would leave the house. I helped him sit up and lean against the wall while Jared found a washcloth and ran a bowl of water to wash his face. We had just finished when the doorbell rang. Paul jumped as if he'd been shot and Jared squeezed his shoulder as I got to my feet and headed for the door. It couldn't be Mick Lahote; he wouldn't ring his own doorbell. It was Charlie Swan.

"Officer Swan," I said, nodding. "Can I help?"

"'Morning, Sam," he said. "I'm looking for Mrs Lahote and Paul, are they in?"

"Mrs Lahote's in the hospital in Forks," I said, wondering that he didn't know that. Perhaps she had refused to report it. "Paul's here. Did something happen?"

"I need to speak to him," Charlie said, taking his hat off. He looked serious and I suddenly felt a jolt of fear. Had Paul done something to his father?

"You better come in. He's not really fit for a conversation," I said. "His father beat him." I led Charlie into the kitchen. Jared had got Paul on his feet now and was holding him upright, Paul's arm draped around his neck.

"Who sent for the police?" Paul asked at once.

"No one sent for me," said Charlie. "You look to be in a bad way."

"I'm ok," Paul lied. "I'm going over to my friend's house, their Mom's a nurse. It's nothing, just a nosebleed." He sat down slowly on a chair Jared grabbed for him.

"Paul, I'm sorry to tell you I have some bad news about your father," Charlie began.

"I hope he's dead," Paul said grimly.

I glanced at him in horror. Could he really have killed the man? Judging by the state of him, I doubted it. Charlie frowned, but his expression was more of sympathy than anything else.

"Paul, your father was discovered half an hour ago two miles west of Forks. His car appeared to have left the road at high speed and hit a tree head on. He was found dead at the scene. Tests will be carried out, but there were several empty beer bottles in the vehicle and he smelled strongly of both beer and whiskey. There were no other vehicles involved."

Paul stared back at Charlie, saying nothing, the colour gradually draining out of his already pale face. I exchanged glances with Jared and saw the same shock in his eyes that I was feeling. After everything that had happened to Paul and his mother, I couldn't really blame him for saying he hoped his father was dead, but I was stunned when he suddenly burst into tears. Shocked, I just stood helplessly while Jared hugged him and told him he could go and stay with the Camerons until his Mom came out of hospital. I turned to look at Charlie.

"We'll be fine," I said. "We'll look after him."

Charlie nodded. "I'll send one of our female officers over to the hospital to speak to the boy's mother." He left moments later and I closed the door after him.

Paul pulled himself together after a few minutes, claiming to be as surprised as we were that he was so upset. I wondered if he felt guilty for wishing his father dead, but decided it best not to ask at that point. We took him straight to Jared's and then I drove over to Leah's and explained to her Mom what had happened. Sue Clearwater set off quickly to take care of Paul and later we found out his nose was broken, but he hadn't suffered concussion. I spent the rest of the day with Leah, just lounging in her room watching television and eating snacks. I didn't feel like doing anything and was happy just to lie there and cuddle her.

Mrs Lahote returned home the next day and she and Paul began to pick up the pieces together. The rest of us didn't see a lot of Paul for a few weeks, but eventually he began to hang out with us again, mostly with Jared and me, and he seemed almost a different person. He was more relaxed than I'd ever seen him. There was still that simmering temper under the surface which would sometimes explode out of him without much warning, but in general he was much easier to get along with.

The three of us, not only being pack members, but also good friends, became closer than any of the others in the group. I saw as much of Leah as I could, but there just weren't enough hours in the day for everyone and consequently I saw less of Embry, Jacob and Quil. Sometimes they would join Paul and Jared and I on the weekends, but it began to feel like a sort of 'them' and 'us' situation and they clearly felt as if they had been shut out for some unknown reason. I felt guilty about it, but I had a responsibility to my pack, small though it was, to help and teach them as much as I could and I had Leah, who wanted more of my time than she was getting, so something had to give. I felt worse when Embry came over to my house early one Sunday to ask if he had pissed me off somehow, causing me to prefer my new buddies to my own brother. I invited him and Jacob and Quil to join the rest of us more often, but it made things difficult because I couldn't talk to Paul and Jared the way I wanted to and they began to resent it.

In July, Jacob and the other two were distracted by the arrival of Charlie Swan's daughter, Bella, who had been living in Phoenix with her mother. Following her mother's marriage to a new husband, she had decided to move out to Forks to live with her father and Charlie immediately took Bella over to Billy's. Bella had visited during summer holidays in the past, but hadn't been seen for a couple of years. She had hung out with Jacob and his two elder sisters who had since moved away. I didn't really know anything about her, but Embry, Jacob and Quil raved about how pretty she was and what good fun to be with so at least they weren't complaining about not being part of my group as often as they would like. With school out for the summer, the three of them entertained Bella while her father was working and the rest of us didn't see a great deal of them until she found some girlfriends in Forks and spent the last couple of weeks of the holidays with them instead.

It was the last week in August when everything changed for me. Something happened which threw me completely off balance and made me question everything I'd learned from Billy and everything I thought I knew. It began when Paul and Jared and I were fooling about up on the cliffs, taunting each other to jump. Since the three of us phased, we had begun to realise we could get away with doing silly and dangerous things without coming to any harm, one of these being throwing ourselves off the cliff into the sea. I suppose we thought we were invincible just because we were stronger and bolder and it took a lot of effort to hurt us. A car I had been working on one day had dropped down onto my foot when the jack collapsed and although it hurt like hell, it didn't even break one toe when really it should have crushed my entire foot. Jared and Paul reported similar instances although Paul was always puzzled by the fact that his father had succeeded in breaking his nose the day after he phased for the first time. He theorised that it must take time to 'toughen up'.

While were up there, Paul and Jared both laughingly began calling me 'chicken' because I wouldn't jump. I had no intention of jumping; it was a windy day and the sea was hurling itself against the cliff as if it meant to break a tunnel through beneath the road. As we carried on ribbing each other, Tiffany Call's yellow Beetle appeared around the bend in the road and pulled over at the top of the track leading down to the beach. Embry, Jacob and Quil all got out and waved her off, then began to walk down to the path. They were a little way down when they saw us and immediately changed direction, climbing back up and running along the road until they reached the spot where my truck was.

"What are you doing here?" Paul asked at once.

"We were going down to the beach until we saw you," Embry said. "Hey, Sam."

"Hey."

"What are you doing?" asked Embry.

"Nothing much."

"Daring each other to jump," Paul grinned. I glared at him and mouthed, 'don't.'

"Seems like your big brother here is too scared to do it," Paul went on.

"We're just fooling around, let's go down to the beach," Jared put in.

"Let's not. I want to see you jump, Sam," Paul repeated.

"I'll jump," Embry said.

"Don't be stupid." I stepped towards him, not liking the way things were going.

"Is that why you don't want to hang out with us any more?" Embry glared at me. "You think we're just stupid kids now you've got your little gang? Jared and Paul aren't any older than me!"

"Hell, Embry, of course I want to hang out with you," I said. "You know how busy I've been lately."

"Yeah, busy fooling around with those two," Embry grumbled. "I'm just as good as you. At least I'm not too scared to jump." He stepped away from me and moved to the edge of the cliff. I leaped forward and grabbed his arm. Jacob moved closer to the other side of him, looking anxious.

"Stop it!" I cried. "You'll get yourself killed."

"Let him jump if he wants to. We've all done it," Paul said.

"Embry, come on, we're going," I told him firmly, tugging on his arm. Annoyed, he wrenched himself free with such vigour that he staggered backwards, colliding with Jacob just behind him. I thrust my arms out again to grab hold of Embry and just managed to snag the front of his jacket and pull him towards me. I clutched him, staring in horror over his shoulder as Jacob, his heels on the edge of the cliff, seemed to lean back in slow motion before disappearing from view with a loud scream.

"Oh, shit!" Quil cried. "Look what you did, you idiot!"

Embry pulled free of me and turned around, dropping to his knees and peering over the sheer drop to the rolling waves below.

"It was an accident!" Embry choked. "Sam...help him."

The rest of us crowded around him and looked down. White topped waves crashed against the bottom of the cliff, sending spray several yards up into the air. Jacob was nowhere to be seen.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

"I'm going in after him," Paul said.

"Stay where you are," I told him, kicking my shoes off. "Jared, take everybody down to the beach." Jared, being the second of us to phase, had automatically become my Beta.

"Don't Sam, what if something happens to you?" Embry protested, despite having just asked me to help.

I ignored him and stepped to the edge of the cliff.

"Sam!" Embry cried.

As I jumped, I heard Paul shouting, "For fuck's sake, Embry, shut you mouth!" Then all I heard was the wind rushing in my ears.

I rolled forward, tucked my head down between my elbows and entered the water near vertically, my momentum taking me all the way to the bottom, twenty-something feet down. I turned and pushed off with my feet, eyes open, trying to see through the murky water, the waves dragging up silt from the seabed and swirling it around me. My head broke the surface and I looked left and right. Jacob could be anywhere. There was a strong undercurrent sucking at my legs, trying to pull me in all directions. I dived and searched several times, but it was impossible to see and the sick realisation began to hit me that there was little chance of me finding him before he drowned. Then suddenly by an incredible stroke of luck my foot touched something solid and warm. I reached down and felt the rough fabric of the jacket Jacob was wearing. I took hold and dragged him upwards until his head appeared, wet hair plastered all over his face, eyes closed. I turned him over so that he half lay on his back, his head propped on my shoulder, then brushed the hair off his face and covered his nose and mouth with my hand for a second. He didn't appear to be breathing and there was little I could do about it while the sea was dragging us this way and that, threatening to pull us down and drown us both. Supporting him as best I could, I launched myself backwards and began to kick for the beach, thankful that the tide was coming in, helping me once I was far enough from the cliff.

It seemed an age before I was staggering out of the water, half carrying, half dragging Jacob, but it couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes. I laid him on his back on the pebbles, realising I had no clue what to do next. I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.

"Jacob! Jake! Oh, shit!" I panted. He still wasn't breathing. What now? CPR? Turn him over and bang him on the back? If only Leah was here. Her mother probably taught her what to do in a situation like this. I rolled Jacob onto his side and slapped him hard between the shoulder blades. "Hell, Jacob, wake up!" I growled, panic making my voice catch in my throat.

His mouth opened and he began to choke, spewing out water. I sat back on my heels in relief and waited while he got his breath, looking back up the track for the others. They would have had to run around the bend in the road before they could begin descending and I spotted them now, about a quarter of the way down the rough path.

"It's alright!" I yelled. "He's ok!"

They stopped running at that point and continued walking down towards the beach.

Jacob flopped over onto his back now, still gasping and squinted up at me. I met his eyes and then something peculiar began to happen to me. My peripheral vision narrowed until it seemed I was staring down a tunnel at him; everything around us started to slide away. My heartbeat grew louder until I could hear every thump echo in my ears and I felt a heat building up inside me, similar to when I phased, but somehow different. Time appeared to slow down and I felt as if I were being pulled towards Jacob by something like gravity. If someone asked me to describe how it felt, I doubt I would have been able to make sense. It was almost as if suddenly he was all there was. I didn't even realise I had stopped breathing until his hand reached up suddenly and touched my arm.

"Sam?" he said a little hoarsely. "Are you ok? What happened?"

I let my breath out in a rush and shook his hand off. "Sure. I'm fine," I said tersely, pushing myself up into a crouch. "What the hell were you all thinking, coming out here fooling about? You could've been killed!" I lurched to my feet, suddenly furious, blaming him when he hadn't done a thing wrong because I didn't want to acknowledge what had just happened. I didn't just Imprint on a fifteen-year-old boy; on _Jacob_? Shit!

He sat up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, his face puzzled and hurt. Was he aware of what had happened or just confused by my temper? How could he know? He wasn't aware of what I was yet, but maybe some kind of instinct told him. I had no idea, I only knew that it scared the hell out of me. I jerked my gaze away from him as the other four reached us.

"Jacob!"

"Jake, are you alright?"

I was thankful that they ignored me and I turned away now and left them there surrounding Jacob. I had to get away from him... from them. What if Jared and Paul realised what had occurred? The shock of what happened to me and my anger over Jacob almost drowning filled me and put me in danger of phasing right there. I walked up the beach, taking deep breaths and forcing myself to calm down. I kept my distance for a few minutes until Embry came over to me and handed me my shoes.

"I'm sorry," he said miserably. "I was so stupid."

"It's alright." I gave him a quick one-armed hug. "I'm going to fetch the truck. Stay here, I'll bring it down."

"Sure. Thanks, Sam, you were amazing."

"No, I wasn't," I grunted and shoved my feet into my shoes before heading back up the track to the road. Twenty minutes later the truck was down on the beach. Embry and Jacob climbed into the cab while the other three got in the back of the pickup. Embry pulled his jacket off and wrapped it around Jacob who was shivering, while I guided the truck back up the slope. I had never been so uncomfortable in my life, convinced Jacob knew something had happened. The hair on the back of my neck was standing on end and I felt like he was staring at me, but the couple of times I glanced to my right, he was leaning back on the seat, his eyes closed. By the time I dropped everyone off at Billy's, my heart was thumping and my breathing ragged, not least because Embry had put the heater on at its highest setting and I could barely breathe.

"Are you coming in?" Embry asked.

"Uh...no, I have some other stuff to do," I said. I turned the heater off and wound my window down while I waited for him to close the passenger door.

"Sam."

I turned my head as Jacob spoke. I couldn't look him in the face and fixed my eyes instead on his hand which was resting on the side of the door as he stood outside the truck.

"Thanks. I guess you saved my life," he said.

"Yeah...sure...no problem," I stammered. I had no idea how to respond to something like that, even if nothing else had occurred to make it more awkward. "See you. Tomorrow. Maybe."

"Ok. See you." Jacob closed the door and the five of them walked up to the house. I backed the truck up and turned around, then headed for home.

I was relieved when I discovered my mother had gone out visiting, leaving a note to tell me to help myself from the refrigerator or order pizza if I wanted. I didn't want either. I stripped off my still wet clothes, took a shower and then went to bed. It was much too early to go to sleep, but my mind was in a turmoil and I wanted to shut everything out somehow. I switched on my CD player and began to play Mudvayne loud enough to make the window vibrate. It made my head vibrate too and somehow I was able to stop myself thinking. I played the album twice over, then switched it off and swallowed some painkillers, my temples throbbing. I fell asleep before eight o'clock.

When I woke on Sunday morning, it was different to any other morning. Usually the first thing I thought of was Leah and how I couldn't wait to see her or speak to her or at least roll over and look at the photograph of her beside my bed. This time, the first thing that came into my head when I opened my eyes was Jacob. I wondered if he was ok after his ordeal and then everything that happened came flooding back. I groaned aloud and pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. What had happened to me? I Imprinted on a _guy_. I tried to push it out of my mind again, but it was impossible and confused thoughts whirled around my head. I began to think that I wasn't normal, if being a shape-shifter could be considered in any way normal to begin with.

I sat up slowly and rubbed my hands over my face. If I Imprinted on a guy, was it fate telling me I was gay? I knew I wasn't. I was in love with Leah. I was sleeping with Leah. I'd never envisioned myself with a guy before. I had nothing against it; one of my regular customers was gay and never failed to teasingly ask me out when he dropped in to get his car serviced. I just laughed it off. It had never bothered me, but it hadn't tempted me either. I knew I didn't fancy Jacob. I'd never looked at him that way. He was my kid brother's friend; _my_ friend and he was _fifteen_.

"What's wrong with me?" I groaned. "Why did this happen? Why couldn't it be Leah?"

"Sam?" My Mom knocked on the door. "Are you alright? You were asleep when I came in at nine last night."

"Yeah. Fine," I called back. "Just tired."

Damn, she'd heard me talking to myself. She probably thought I was going nuts. I felt like I was going nuts. I threw the quilt back and swung my legs out of the bed, just as the telephone on my dresser rang. I leaned over and snatched it up.

"Yeah?"

"Sam? It's me," said Leah's voice. "What happened to you yesterday? I thought we were going to the cinema? You never even called me." Her tone was accusatory and I groaned inwardly once again.

"I'm sorry, Leah, I forgot," I said.

"You _forgot_? I suppose you were with your weird gang of friends all day, you know sometimes I wonder if they're more important to you than I am."

"Of course they're not, you're more important to me than anything," I said. Strangely it felt as if I was trying to convince myself of that as much as I was her. I cleared my throat. "Things were pretty intense yesterday, Jacob almost died," I said. An image of me dragging him out of the sea filled my mind and my stomach turned over. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Oh my God, what happened?" Leah cried. "Is he alright?"

"Uh...yeah...he's fine. We were fooling around on the cliffs. He fell off and nearly drowned," I said. "I pulled him out of the water."

"Hero," Leah said, her voice soft now. "I guess I can let you off missing our date then, since you were busy saving a life."

"Don't make me out to be a hero," I said. "It was kind of my fault. Well, mine and Paul and Jared's. It's a long story." I was dying to get off the phone and jump in the shower. "Maybe I'll tell you about it later, we can catch that movie this afternoon if you want."

"Sure. Ok, Sam. I'll be ready around two, just pick me up when you're ready," she said. "I love you."

"Love you too." I hung up quickly and headed for the bathroom. It was ten o'clock. I'd see her in just four hours, then I'd be ok again. I probably just imagined what happened yesterday. I was an idiot. It must have been the shock of Jacob almost drowning. I continued telling myself that as I stepped into the shower, turned the faucet on as hot as it would go and scrubbed myself briskly.

I spent the rest of the morning giving the truck a good clean out, ate a sandwich with my mother and then got ready to go out. I set off to pick up Leah just before two o'clock, following the road through the reservation towards the Clearwaters'. I passed Billy's house first and my foot inadvertently eased up on the accelerator a touch. It wasn't a conscious thought, more of an urge to just stop and go in. I didn't know how to explain it to myself and said out loud that I didn't need to check if Jacob was ok; if he wasn't, Billy or Embry would have called.

"Stop being a dick," I said. "Now you're talking to yourself again." I shoved my foot down once more and continued to Leah's.

I took her to see 'Junebug', a kind of comedy chick flick that didn't interest me at all and was full of actors I'd never heard of, but I felt like I owed it to her. I sat there doing my best to pay attention to what was going on, my arm around Leah, while my mind wandered off every few minutes and landed on..._Jacob_. I shuffled and fidgeted, gulped coke from the huge carton I had bought for us to share and excused myself to go to the toilet.

"Sam, what's wrong with you?" Leah whispered at one point. "If you hate the movie, just say so."

"It's fine. Really." I held her hand, propped my foot up on my other knee and tapped the fingers of my free hand on my boot. What if he wasn't ok? What if they just hadn't had _time_ to call me? My foot fell off my knee and hit the floor.

"Sam!" Leah hissed.

"Sorry. I don't feel so good."

"Do you want to leave?"

"No, it's just a headache."

"Well, then, can you stop jumping around?"

"Ssshhhh!" came from the row behind us.

I resolved to stay still and quiet for the last half hour of the movie. Nothing was wrong, I told myself. He probably had a cold if anything. I was only making excuses to myself to try to explain why I wanted to go over to his house so badly.

"Shit!" I muttered. "What's wrong with me?" I glanced at Leah, but she didn't appear to have heard me.

At last the credits rolled and I got to my feet. It had been the longest two hours of my life and I knew Leah wanted to go and eat pasta now before we went home. The last thing I wanted was food, but she let me off the hook.

"Let's go home, you look pretty rough, all red and sweaty," she said. "Maybe you caught a chill or something, jumping in that water."

"Yeah, maybe." I was glad to be on the road again; at least driving the truck gave me something to do with my hands and feet and stopped me fidgeting. I resisted the urge to open the window, knowing Leah would be cold, and drove to the Clearwaters as fast as I could reasonably get away with.

"Do you want to come in and relax for a while?" Leah offered when we pulled up outside her house.

"Uh, no, I think I'll go home and sleep," I said, feeling like a real shit. I'd avoided her all day yesterday and now wrecked our date. She was probably thinking she'd done something wrong. "Ill give you a call tomorrow, ok?" I leaned over and gave her a kiss. "I'm sorry," I added.

"It's ok, Sam, don't worry about it," she said and climbed out of the truck. I felt even worse. She'd been so nice about it. I put the truck back in gear and drove towards home, purposefully taking a route which added almost a mile onto the short journey so that I didn't have to drive past Billy's. I had to get myself together.

I fought with myself for the next three days and by Wednesday I had a strange pain in my chest. I told myself I must have caught a chill or something from jumping in the sea after all, but I knew it wasn't true. I couldn't even concentrate on work and I was hot, irritable and constantly forcing myself not to jump in the truck and race over to Billy's. I wasn't able to tell myself nothing happened any longer and I knew I was going to have to just grit my teeth and face up to it. I glanced up at the clock for the hundredth time that day, thinking that school had kicked out a little while ago, then realising that it didn't start again until the next week. However, a few minutes later as I was removing the air filter from a Mini I was servicing, I saw Tiffany's Beetle pull up outside. Embry and Jacob got out and then she drove off. My stomach turned over. What were they doing here? 'Act normal', I told myself and straightened.

"Hey, what are you two doing here?" I asked.

"No one's heard from you in a few days, we thought we'd drop in and catch up," Embry said.

"Oh, well you can hang out here while I finish up," I told him. "It's going to take me about half an hour to do this. There's some cokes and things in the refrigerator."

"Thanks." Embry went to get some drinks and Jacob came over to look at the Mini.

"How can anyone drive something this small?" he asked.

I grinned, surprised that I didn't feel awkward. "They managed it well enough in 'The Italian Job'. How are you? Didn't get a chill or anything?"

"No, I'm fine," Jacob said. "You should come over, my Dad wants to tell you you're a hero or something." He smirked and I completely relaxed. He wasn't acting differently like he knew something had changed and somehow that weird pain in me had disappeared. I didn't think about why, but I did decide that at the weekend I was going over to Billy's to borrow some of his books. Maybe if I read about what happened, I would be able to make sense of it.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

Embry and Jacob stayed at the shop until I finished servicing the Mini and then I drove them to Embry's. Charlie Swan was visiting Billy and Tiffany had invited Jacob over for dinner. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask them to join me instead or invite myself, but I swallowed it and went to see Leah, hoping that I could have a good evening with her. I did enjoy the myself, but something wasn't quite the same. Usually I would be hoping we could find an excuse to sneak off somewhere or that her parents and Seth would go out to give us some time to ourselves, but for once it was the last thing on my mind. I was happy watching the DVD she picked out and nibbling on snacks. Leah had forgiven me for the weekend and I went home later feeling a hundred times better.

By Friday night, I was back to being irritable and jumpy again, part of me wishing school was open. Usually I would have been driving over there to pick up Jacob and Embry. I wondered if they would drop by again, but they didn't and I couldn't think of an excuse to go over to see them. _Him_. I'd never needed an excuse before, but despite the easiness with which we'd talked on Wednesday, I was convinced I wouldn't be able to say a thing if I didn't have a good reason for going. So I didn't go and I took Leah out instead. By Saturday morning I felt empty and uncomfortable and more worried than ever that I must be some kind of freak for this to happen to me. All I wanted to do was fight against how I was feeling, but doing that only made me more miserable.

Finally on Sunday I decided to go and see Billy, to try and find out more about Imprinting. At least I would look at his books to see if there was anything there which could make me feel better. I sure as hell wasn't going to tell him I Imprinted on his son.

I knocked on the door at eleven o'clock, only to find Billy was about to go out. Charlie Swan had come over and was planning to take him into Forks for a while.

"'Morning, Sam." Charlie reached out to shake my hand after I shook Billy's.

"I didn't know you were going out, I'll leave you to it," I said.

"Jacob's over at Embry's if you want to catch up with them," Billy told me.

"No, I was just going to borrow a book," I told him. "It can wait."

"Why don't you help yourself?" suggested Billy. "The key's in the door and Jacob has the spare. If you leave before he comes back, lock up and put the key under the mat."

"Are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure. See you later." He nodded at me and Charlie manoeuvred the wheelchair out of the door and set off up the path to where his truck waited.

I went into the house and made my way to the lounge, then scanned the titles of the books on the shelves behind the sofa. There were so many. In the end I picked one at random and sat down to read. I flicked through a few pages until the word 'Imprint' caught my attention and I began to read, but I found it difficult to concentrate. I found myself wondering what Jacob was doing, if he would be back any time soon. I shook myself and stared fiercely at the page until I took in the words at the beginning of the first paragraph.

"_The shape-shifter is likely to feel physical pain when spending too long apart from their Imprintee."_

I grimaced and bit my lip. 'Like a chest pain, maybe,' I thought. 'Like a big gaping hole...'

"Stop it," I muttered.

The book was written in a similar style to that of an instruction manual, rather than the others I'd seen which were almost like fairy tales. I flicked back a couple of pages to the beginning of the section and skipped down a few lines until I found something else that caught my attention.

"_A shape-shifter will only Imprint on a person after they phase for the first time. This will happen on the first occasion they set eyes on their Imprintee after phasing."_

I frowned. That didn't make sense. I guess it explained why I hadn't Imprinted on Leah, but on the other hand it didn't explain me Imprinting on Jacob. I'd seen him dozens of times over the period of almost a year since I first phased, just as I had Leah. I left the book open and got up again, scanning the shelf for another which I could compare against the first. After a few moments I had both open on my lap, glancing from one to the other. The second was almost like a journal, written by one Porter Clearwater in 1860. One of Leah's ancestors, perhaps?

"_My Imprinting was exactly the way I had been told – the world around me disappeared for that moment when our eyes met and she was pulling me towards her with an invisible cord. Who would have thought Maria would be the one? We grew up together and I always saw her as a little sister. She supported me constantly through my confusion after first phasing..."_

So this book was saying something different to the first one; this guy, Porter was saying he spent time with his Maria after phasing, but didn't Imprint on her until later. That was more like what had happened to me. It seemed to be making a point about their eyes meeting and I tried to remember if I had locked eyes with Jacob before. Surely I must have at some point, but maybe not. I'd rarely been alone with him and I didn't think I looked in any of the guys' eyes properly when we were hanging out together. That would have just been wrong. Why did it all have to be so complicated? I put the journal aside for a moment and turned back to the other book.

"Hey, Sam."

I jerked my head up, startled. I hadn't even heard him come in.

"Jacob! I was just..." I almost bit my tongue off. The words had so nearly slipped out. 'I was just thinking about you.'

"I was just going to borrow a couple of books," I finished lamely, wondering that he didn't seem surprised to find me in his house when Billy was out.

"Oh, right, find anything good?"

"Uh...nothing, just old legends." I closed both books quickly, certain if he noticed I was reading about Imprinting he would see right through me. So far I didn't think he knew; at least he hadn't given any sign that he thought anything was different.

"Let me see," he said now, kneeling down on the carpet at my feet and taking the first book from me. "I haven't read any of these," he said, flicking through the pages. "Dad told me the stories, but it never really interested me."

"I've been meaning to look at some of these for a while, I was always fascinated," I said, feeling guilty for lying to him. I wanted to tell him everything; about the pack, about what was likely to happen to him.

"Here you go, I'll get another one." Jacob gave me the book back and got up, looking at the bookshelves. He picked one and sat back down on the floor.

I opened the two books again and found the pages I'd been reading, picking up where I left off, mainly reading the instruction style one and checking some of it against what Porter Clearwater wrote. Most was very similar, but there were some differences.

For a while I found it difficult to concentrate and read the same paragraphs several times before I was able to take in what they said. Jacob's sudden appearance had unsettled me and I felt very nervous. Trying to appear relaxed I only made myself more tense, my breathing uneven, saliva flooding my mouth and making me swallow repeatedly. I wanted to run away; I was sure he would hear my discomfort and turn around and look at me.

I shifted slightly, considering getting up and making some excuse that I had to go home, but I didn't actually want to leave. Instead I lifted one foot up and rested my ankle on the other knee, then started to read again, forcing myself to calm down.

_'The age of the Imprintee is irrelevant. It is not unusual for the shape-shifter to Imprint upon a much younger person than themselves, even a small child.'_

My eyes widened. It had got my attention again at last. That would just be weird. I continued to read.

_'There are four stages to Imprinting. The first stage is usually only required if the Imprintee is a child, whereby the shape-shifter will act as an older sibling and view their Imprintee as such." _

_'_Slightly less weird', I thought.

"_In the second stage, the shape-shifter will become a close friend of the Imprintee, doing everything they can to make their Imprintee happy and make them feel as if the shape-shifter is the most important person in their life."_

I lowered the book slightly and peered over it at Jacob, sitting cross-legged at my feet, turning the pages of the book he had picked out. As I watched he raised one hand and tucked his hair behind his ear, then licked his thumb and turned another page. He was completely chilled. He hadn't noticed if I was being odd and jumpy.

"_...a close friend..."_ I guessed I could be that. It wouldn't be much more than what we were already. I relaxed slightly. Maybe I had been worrying too much. Then again, I hadn't finished reading. I lifted the book again.

"_The friendship progresses in the third stage to that of intimate friends, whereby the shape-shifter will begin to experience romantic feelings..."_

I closed the book quickly. I couldn't read that; I didn't want to even think about it. It wasn't that the thought horrified me, so much as that I couldn't imagine myself feeling like that about Jacob. Hell, I was in love with Leah, wasn't I? I realised guiltily that I'd barely thought of her since I'd got out of bed.

I turned back to the journal again. What I really wanted to know for sure was if someone didn't know yet that shape-shifters were real, could they know if they had been Imprinted upon? Maybe Porter could help me with that one. I pored over the journal for more than an hour, continuing to follow his story. He wrote about other members of his pack phasing, one of whom was his brother Tremaine. The next few lines almost leaped off the page at me.

"_Tremaine Imprinted on Catherine - she's a young girl from the next village who he admired from a distance before he first phased. She knows nothing of shape-shifters and was not aware she had been chosen for a soul mate, only that the younger Clearwater appears to admire her. Maria instructed her on everything and she is accepting of Tremaine..."_

I heaved a sigh of relief. So it was pretty unlikely he did know. At last I was able to relax and enjoy just lounging about with him. We weren't even talking, but I felt good for the first time in a week. So we could be 'close friends'. There was nothing wrong with that; I could handle that. I turned back to the first book again, curiosity winning over fear of what the fourth stage of Imprinting was. I wanted to know everything. I found the page and peeked at the rest of the paragraph, continuing where I'd left off in the middle of the third stage.

"_...begin to experience romantic feelings although this will not necessarily be reciprocated by the Imprintee. The shape-shifter will, however, be unable to feel this way for any other woman or man, whether their feelings towards their Imprintee are returned or not. They will by now be in love with their Imprintee."_

_'_Oh, shit,' I thought. 'What does that mean for me and Leah? Does that mean I'll stop caring about her? Does that mean I'm going to fall in love with _Jacob_?' I shivered nervously, but decided to finish the section; it couldn't get any worse, could it?

"_Finally in the fourth stage, the feelings experienced by the shape-shifter in the third stage will become sexual..." _I stopped reading and closed the book again. That was way worse. I could feel my face growing hot with embarrassment and suddenly I couldn't wait to leave. I got up quickly and Jacob raised his head.

"Are you going?"

"Uh...yeah, my Mom will be cooking dinner soon," I said, glancing at the clock. It was approaching five and I had no idea where the afternoon had gone.

"We can order take-out if you want, Dad left me some money," Jacob suggested. "You could call your Mom."

I opened my mouth, unsure for a moment what my answer was going to be. I wanted to get home as fast as I could and try to forget my discomfort with what I'd read, but Jacob's offer of take-out suddenly had me rooted to the spot as I found I didn't want to leave after all.

"I...uh...yeah, ok," I stuttered.

"You won't be in trouble for missing dinner, will you?" Jacob grinned, picking himself up off the floor and shoving his book back onto the shelf.

I laughed a little too loudly. "No. I'll just...uh...call my Mom so she doesn't make me anything."

"Are you alright?" asked Jacob suddenly.

"Sure, why?"

"I don't know. Do you not want to stay?" He smirked now. "Not keeping you from some fun with Leah, am I?"

"No!" I said quickly and went into the kitchen to use the telephone. Jacob followed me and perched on the kitchen counter while I called my Mom. When I finished, I handed him the phone.

"What do you want? Pizza or Chinese?" he asked.

"Either. You pick."

"Chinese is my favourite."

"Ok."

"What do you want?" Jacob asked, pulling a menu out of the letter rack behind him.

"Whatever, just order what you think," I told him. I wasn't keen on Chinese food and I was reminded of that sentence in the book which read, _'the Imprinter will...do everything they can to make their Imprintee happy'._

_'_Including eating Chinese food when they don't much like it,' I thought, grinning.

Jacob had already dialled the restaurant's number, apparently from memory and now began reeling off an order.

"...spare ribs, salt and pepper chicken, egg fried rice, Singapore noodles and prawn crackers. Oh, yeah...prawn toast, seaweed and some spring rolls to start."

Seaweed? Ugh! The rest actually didn't sound so bad though. The one time I had Chinese food, I'd had black bean something and deep-fried squid which was like rubber covered in breadcrumbs, both of which I'd thought were revolting.

It took about an hour for the food to arrive and we put a DVD on. Jacob had the two 'Fast and Furious' movies and we decided to watch them back to back.

"I want a car like Leon's," Jacob said.

"The Skyline? You better learn to drive first," I grinned.

"I guess I'll get my permit after Christmas. Dad said he'd get me lessons for my sixteenth birthday."

"I want a Corvette," I said. "You know like the one I was doing the engine rebuild on? I love those classics. You can pick them up pretty cheap if you don't mind having to do them up." I hadn't seriously thought about buying a car until then, but suddenly the idea appealed. I gave my Mom a portion of my wages and saved the majority of the rest. I knew I had enough to go looking for an old wreck to do up if I wanted.

"What about your truck?" asked Jacob.

"I'll still need it for work, towing and picking parts up."

We spent the rest of the evening watching the movies and talking about cars. I even found out I liked most of the Chinese food, except for the spring rolls which were full of horrible little white roots and the seaweed that I had no intention of trying. Billy and Charlie arrived just as the second movie was ending and I was surprised when I looked up at the clock and discovered it was almost ten.

Charlie took off after helping Billy into the house and I got up to leave too, feeling a lot better than I had when I arrived. Those books had helped me understand my situation, except for _why_ it was Jacob I had Imprinted on, but I figured as long as I could stay a 'close friend' to him, I didn't have to freak myself out over it. I just wouldn't think about where it might go after that.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

School started again the next day, so all of the guys were tied up with that during the week. Gradually I began to get into a new routine which worked ok for the moment. Monday to Friday I worked, obviously. Wednesdays Tiffany started dropping Embry, Jacob and Quil off at the shop after school when I suggested to Embry that with so much going on I was finding it difficult to fit everything in and see everyone. He was delighted by the suggestion and the other two were quite happy hanging out around the cars I was working on. I found that even if Jacob was over the other side of the shop completely ignoring me, at least he was close by and I didn't get that horrible empty feeling which made me question myself whenever more than two or three days went by without me seeing him. I wanted to do things with just him like the day I had gone to read Billy's books and ended up spending about ten hours with him, but I couldn't think of a suitable excuse that wouldn't make him think I was strange so a few hours a couple of times a week was all there was.

Fridays I closed the shop early as I had before the summer holidays and picked the three of them up from school myself, after which we would hang out at Billy's as we often had before.

Saturdays I spent with my pack and the one thing that worried me was that Jared and Paul would know what happened with Jacob. When we were all phased they could read my thoughts as easily as I could read theirs and I went to great efforts to shove Jacob to the back of my mind and not let him out on the rare occasions we were all in our wolf forms.

Sundays and Tuesday evenings I spent with Leah. I knew I was spreading myself a bit thin, but it kind of worked. I told myself it did, even though Leah complained that she didn't see enough of me, but it wasn't long before things changed again, in a way to my advantage.

First of all Billy discovered from Charlie that Bella had started dating Edward Cullen - one of the vampire clan. Billy was horrified by the news, but couldn't let on to Charlie what the problem was; nor could he tell Jacob, who was her closest friend out of all of us. So it fell to me. I barely knew her, but it was my duty to protect her - or any human - from vampires. I had a strange feeling though, that Bella Swan was going to cause me problems.

Since I couldn't exactly speak to her when she was hanging out with Jacob, Embry and Quil, I went over to her house. She didn't listen to a word I said. I tried warning her off Edward although I didn't tell her what he was, only that Billy knew him pretty well and was concerned that she was putting herself in a dangerous position.

"Why are you talking to me about this?" she asked. "I barely know you. If there's something I should know about Edward, surely Jacob would have told me."

In a nutshell, she said I was talking garbage and I should mind my own business. She would see who she wanted and there wasn't a thing I or anyone else could do about it. I reported back to Billy the next day and he decided the only thing to do was for me, Paul and Jared to keep an eye on things and ensure she stayed safe.

At the end of September, Embry who was a few months older than the others and had already turned sixteen, got an after school job working in a store in Forks run by a guy Tiffany knew. He would work a couple of hours after school every night and Saturday mornings and was delighted to have his own money. Tiffany had never been able to afford to give him much of an allowance and he was over the moon to be working. Immediately Jacob and Quil wanted to do the same, but Billy and Quil's father refused, saying they would think about it the next year when the pair of them were sixteen.

With Embry working after school he stopped coming over to the shop in the evenings and on Fridays it was only Jacob and Quil that I picked up from school. On the other days Quil's father or elder sister fetched them. This particular week when I pulled up at the gate, only Jacob was waiting.

"Where's Quil?" I asked when he got into the truck.

"He's sick. His Mom gave me a note this morning for his home room tutor."

I felt pleased, not because poor Quil was sick, but because I got to spend time with just Jacob. I tried to swallow that feeling, but it wouldn't go away.

"You still want to hang out?" I said, hoping he hadn't made some other plan.

"Sure. Can we go to the garage for a while? My Dad's pissing me off."

"Why, what happened?"

"I really want to get a job, even if it's just a paper route. I don't get much of an allowance and Embry's always boasting about how much he has. If I worked I could help Dad out too, but he doesn't see it like that. 'You're only fifteen, Jacob, I'm not having you working'," he imitated. "What's he think's going to happen to me?"

"He probably just doesn't want you to grow up too fast or something."

"I'm not a kid!" Jacob retorted grumpily.

"I know that." An idea sprang into my mind which would probably make everybody happy, mostly Jacob. That was supposed to be my mission after all - to make him happy. "I guess I could have a word with Billy," I said now. "He might let you work in the shop for an hour after school or something."

"Seriously?" He turned to look at me eagerly.

"Yeah, but don't get too excited, he'll probably still say no."

"Sam, you could sell snow to the Eskimos," Jacob grinned. "Can you ask him now?"

"I thought you wanted to hang out at the shop?"

"We can do that after he says I can work there."

I smiled now. His excitement was infectious and I tried not to dwell too much on the fact that I would get to see him virtually every day if he was working with me. I didn't think I would ever be comfortable with feeling like that, but I supposed I would have to try and get used to it. I drove over to Billy's and parked on the drive.

"Wait here, I'll go and speak to him," I said and left him in the truck. I knocked on the door and let myself in.

"Hey, Billy, it's Sam," I called out.

"In here."

I followed Billy's voice to the kitchen where he was about to put a frozen dinner into the microwave.

"Where's Jacob?" he asked.

"In the truck."

"Sulking, I suppose," Billy said wryly. "I guess he told you I put my foot down about him getting a job."

"Yeah. Would it be so bad?" I said.

"Oh, so he asked you to try and get around me?" Billy raised one eyebrow.

"No, I offered. Surely him working a few hours a week would be a better way to keep him occupied than being at a loose end, bored and maybe getting in trouble. Plus he'd have his own money and you wouldn't need to give him an allowance."

"That's exactly what he said and my answer is still no," Billy said. "I don't want him working in some store or warehouse or something in Forks, coming home late. Maybe I'll rethink when he's sixteen."

"What if he worked with me? Then you wouldn't have to stress about it, since I'd be keeping an eye on him."

"Sam, you don't want a kid under your feet when you're working," said Billy slowly. He looked as if he might be starting to waver.

"He'd be a help," I went on. "We've been really busy lately and with winter coming it's just going to increase. They'll all be wanting servicing and chains on their tyres and things before long. He's a decent kid, he's not the sort to fool about. I could use an extra pair of hands."

Billy sighed heavily. "Well, how about you give him a trial for say, a month, and see how it goes? If it's not working then, that'll be the end of it. And if he fools around, don't be afraid to fire him."

I grinned, struggling not to beam from ear to ear like a fool. "Thanks, Billy, I'm sure it'll work out fine," I said.

Billy smiled back at last. "Go on, get out of here. You better go and show him the ropes, hadn't you?"

I wiped the smile off my face as I walked back to the truck and climbed in. I couldn't help teasing him and I slammed the door as if I was frustrated.

"Well?" Jacob prompted.

"He says he'll consider it when you're sixteen."

His face fell a mile. "I really thought he'd change his mind if you talked to him."

"I'm kidding," I said. "He says we can give it a trial for a month and see how it goes."

"No shit!" Jacob's mouth fell open. "He said that? So I got a job?"

"Yeah." I started the truck and eased it off the driveway.

"Thanks, Sam. I owe you," he grinned.

"Yeah, you do."

"So, what are my hours?"

"I'm surprised you didn't ask what the pay is," I smirked.

"That was going to be my next question."

"Two hours after school every night. I can't pay a lot - say five bucks an hour?"

"Fifty a week? Cool!" exclaimed Jacob. "You know what my Dad gives me? Ten! It's not his fault, he doesn't have a lot spare from his welfare."

That day turned out not to be just an hour or two at the shop. I had a car in which had arrived for servicing and new tyres just before I closed, the owner saying they'd pick it up Monday. Jacob helped me change the oil filter and oil, the air filter and the spark plugs and then we drove over to Forks to pick up the brand of tyres the car's owner had requested. We left those at the shop on the way back and then went to Billy's.

We raided the refrigerator for leftovers and then got out of Billy's way and watched television in Jacob's room. He had a laptop he used for school and he switched it on and showed me a website he had been looking at which had cars for sale. He pointed out a yellow Skyline he had seen which was similar to Leon's in 'Fast and Furious'. We spent a while looking at the site and eventually spotted a 1968 Corvette Stingray for sale - just what I had been dreaming about. It was rusty, unloved and hadn't been on the road in about eight years according to the ad, but it was only seven hundred dollars. In addition, it was in a town called Clearwater just fifty miles south of La Push.

"Clearwater? Wonder if Leah's ancestors named the town?" Jacob said. "It must be fate - you're meant to buy the car."

It took me about five minutes to decide to call the number on the ad and check the car out. It had belonged to an old guy who had it from new, but he became crippled, abandoned it in the yard and had recently died. His son wanted to off-load it as quickly as possible. I found myself agreeing to go and see it the next morning. I invited Jacob to go with me, figuring that since he now worked for me, he could help me get the car onto the trailer if I went ahead and bought it.

I did buy it. It was sitting in the guy's yard on bald, flat tyres, a tarp over the top and weeds growing up all around it. The stuffing was coming out of a slit in one of the seats and a mouse had made its nest in there, along with dozens of insects and a bad case of mould from the damp which had seeped in through a crack in the window. Rust was eating through the red paint, there was a huge dent in the hood where something had apparently fallen on it, the oil had all leaked out of the engine long since and the exhaust was hanging on by a thread. I could have probably listed dozens of other problems and I pulled a face and told the guy I thought I'd wasted fifty miles worth of gas driving over to look at it. He clearly saw the trailer attached to the back of my truck and immediately offered to knock a hundred bucks off the price of the car to get me to take it away. I smugly handed over the cash, sorted out the pink slip and then Jacob helped me load the old wreck onto the trailer.

"I'd have paid seven," I grinned as we drove away. As we were unloading it at the shop, Jared and Paul appeared on foot and came over.

"What the hell is that?" asked Jared as the car rolled off the trailer and sank low on its flat tyres and damaged rims.

"Dealing in scrap metal, Sam?" Paul snorted.

"Yeah, yeah. It's a project."

It became just that - the after school project that Jacob and I worked on for an hour or so most days when customers' jobs were finished. I even opened up some Saturday mornings to get a few hours in and Jacob seemed only too happy to join me and earn some extra bucks.

The new development didn't please Leah one bit. I did the best I could to keep her happy, but it got harder and harder as my friendship with Jacob grew. I seemed to spend more time with him than anyone else and by the end of October I had started to fight with Leah because she resented me being away from her so much. I could see her point, but I couldn't seem to help it. I wanted to continue the relationship, but when I was with her I was lousy company and several times she demanded to know if I wished I was somewhere else or with someone else.

I tried to make it up to her one Saturday night by taking her to a restaurant in Forks and then back to my house, knowing my Mom would be out until late. I dimmed the lights, put on some music, cuddled and kissed her and eventually made love to her, but I was horrified when I felt that I was committing some kind of crime. I took her home and told her I loved her before I drove away, but I began to wonder if I still did. She didn't excite me any more and I felt as if I was having to put on an act with her. I thought about the books I'd read at Billy's again and remembered the part which said, _'the shape-__shifter will be unable to feel this way for any other woman or man, whether their feelings towards their Imprintee are returned or not.' _

"Bullshit," I muttered. I didn't have feelings for Jacob. Not like that. No way. It was true; when I made myself think about it properly, my feelings for him were platonic although they were stronger than they ought to be for a friend. I knew I was starting to enjoy being with him more than I did Leah even if all we did was work on my Corvette or change someone's tyres. He was just nice to be with and I felt like I could be completely myself.

It was Bella who threatened to ruin everything. I'd had that feeling when I spoke to her that she was going to be trouble. Edward Cullen decided to do the decent thing and leave Forks so that he didn't have to drag her into his world of cold immortality and after a short period of moping about, she began to hang around Jacob every chance she got to take her mind off it. I thought nothing of it at first; she was heartbroken over Edward and the blood-sucker was all she talked about. Plus she was more than two years older than Jacob and showed no interest in him at all, not that way; at least not that I saw. But I hadn't bargained on him falling for her and by Christmas her name was spilling off his tongue with annoying regularity. She even started coming over to La Push after school with him and hanging around the shop while he worked, which got right up my nose because while she was there, he wasn't concentrating on what he was doing and he was paying more attention to her than he was me. Then they would spend most of the weekend together wandering around La Push or at her house in Forks.

It was New Year's Eve before I acknowledged to myself what my problem was. The Clearwaters threw a huge New Years party with masses of food, music, lights and fireworks and everyone went. Even Charlie Swan came over and picked up Billy on the way. Embry and Quil were there, Paul and Jared, my Mom, Tiffany and many others I knew. There was only one person missing - Jacob. He was in Forks keeping Bella company while her Dad came to the party.

The horrible pain in my chest that I hadn't felt in a long time was back only this time it was much worse. I felt like all the breath had been sucked out of me and my stomach was in knots. It took me a while to admit to myself what was wrong with me, but when I did it was impossible to bury my head in the sand like I had done a number of times before. I was jealous.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

My Mom was ready to leave the party right after we had seen the New Year in and although she told me to stay on if I wanted, I insisted on leaving with her, using the excuse that I wanted to make sure she got home safely. I couldn't wait to get to my room and shut myself away.

"Are you alright, Sam?" Mom asked on the short drive back. "You don't seem yourself."

"I hate parties," I grunted. This was nothing new - I'd always avoided them whenever I could.

"Things are ok with Leah, aren't they?" she persisted. "She hasn't been around to the house much lately."

"Yeah, it's fine, Mom, I've just been busy."

"I think you spend too much time with your friends now there are so many of them."

"A year ago you were saying I should get some friends," I reminded her. "Now I've too many?"

"I just think that if you love Leah, you ought to be doing what she wants more."

"Mom, stay out of it," I growled.

"Sam!"

"Sorry."

She glanced at me curiously. "You know you can talk to me if anything's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong." I turned the truck into our driveway and braked hard. "I'm going to bed."

I went ahead, unlocked the door and left her to follow me in. I was shut in my room before she had even closed the front door. I had never experienced jealousy in my life and I hated it. I hated it being because of Jacob spending time with Bella instead of me and the thought that my feelings were getting away from me scared me. I'd convinced myself I could stick with 'stage two' indefinitely and be his friend, but something was changing.

I barely slept that night, trying to doze off and forget everything, but tossing and turning miserably. By morning my head ached and I felt sick. I took a shower, skipped breakfast and decided to go to the shop and work on the Corvette.

"It's New Year's Day," Mom protested. "Surely you don't have to work."

"It's not work really, I'm going to do some things to my own car," I said and escaped as fast as I could. I opened up the garage ten minutes later and left the doors open. It was icy outside, but I was hot and angry and I wanted the fresh air. I had the Corvette's engine out on a block and I spent a couple of hours cleaning it up. It was in pretty good condition for a car that hadn't run in eight years and I didn't think it would need a lot of effort to get it going again.

I didn't hear a sound from outside for some time and guessed most people were sleeping off their New Year's Eve hangovers. I felt as if I had one and stopped work for a few minutes to gulp some water and swallow a few painkillers. I went to stand at the door and breathed deep, sucking the cold air into my lungs. A cop car turned into the street and drove slowly past and for a moment I wondered if someone had got themselves in trouble drinking the previous night. Then I realised it was Charlie, perhaps on his way to see Billy. The water bottle slid out of my hand and hit the floor as I saw Jacob in the passenger seat. He'd been out all night? With Bella?

"Fuck!" I spat. My fist slammed into the concrete wall and split my knuckles. Blood oozed and dripped and I felt myself rapidly losing control. There was no stopping it. My clothes tore apart, scattering in shreds on the ground and I snarled furiously, not even caring if someone else were to go past the open door and see me. I paced up and down, listening to my claws clicking on the floor, reminded of that first time Paul phased in here. It was an hour before I felt calm enough to even think about phasing back, but I still couldn't manage it. Then suddenly I heard a footstep in the doorway and I snapped my head around and growled at the intruder.

"Woah, Sam, back up!" Jared halted, eyes wide, his hands raised as if he were being held at gunpoint.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" added Paul, appearing behind him.

I took a few steps backwards, mortified.

"Should we phase too?" Jared asked.

I shook my head vigorously. God help me if they could hear my thoughts. I slunk off behind the chassis of the Corvette and sat down on the ground. Finally ten minutes later I was able to change back. I got up quickly and went into the office to find some fresh clothes and a bandage for my hand. As I grabbed the first aid box I noticed with surprise that my skin was unbroken and just red, the way a mostly healed wound would be.

"Shit," I said under my breath. "This is new." I quickly forgot it as I dressed and left the office, wondering what on earth I was going to say to Jared and Paul.

"What happened?" Paul asked at once.

"It's nothing. I'm just having a bad day," I said lamely.

"Must be more than bad," said Jared. "What if someone else had turned up here? Like Jacob for instance; he practically lives here lately."

"Yeah, I know, it was...careless," I said. "I was about to close up. What are you two doing today?"

To my relief they dropped it, but during the couple of hours I spent with them before I went home, they repeatedly looked at me strangely and it was obvious they knew my problem was more than just a bad day. I would have to be more careful, but the growing pain inside me told me that wasn't going to be easy.

I didn't see Jacob all day, but he came over to the shop the following morning. He usually looked relaxed and happy, but I was certain that today he seemed over the moon about something.

'Probably spending the night with _Bella_, little slut,' I thought sourly.

It took me a while to relax enough to work on the Corvette and Jacob didn't say much initially. He asked once if I was ok and then left me alone. I was tempted to ask him about Bella, but wouldn't let myself. If he wanted to tell me he would, otherwise it wasn't my business. Besides, I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer.

It was a week before I found out what happened. Jacob and the others went back to school the following day and I had to force myself to try and not think about what he might or might not have been doing with Bella, but every time he mentioned her name when he was working with me after school it was like he'd punched me. Then finally on Saturday morning Bella came over herself looking for him.

"Bella," I said gruffly when she stepped into the garage.

"Hello, Sam. Happy New Year."

I just nodded. It hadn't been happy for me so far.

"Is Jacob here?" she asked.

"He went to the store for some soda, he'll be back in a few minutes," I said. We had got thirsty and the refrigerator was empty.

"Ok. Can I wait?"

"If you want." I wondered if I could get out of her what was going on. Maybe if I did it the right way. "You missed the New Year party last week," I said, doing my best to look pleasant.

"I didn't feel like going. Anyway, Jacob came over to keep me company."

"Oh, yeah?" I smirked and winked, swallowing my nausea.

Bella blushed and scowled at me. "Jacob's my best friend," she said.

"Yes, I bet." Another grin.

"I love Edward," Bella snapped. "I'll always love him, whether he's here or not. That isn't going to change. I know you don't like the Cullens, but I don't really care what you think, Sam. Just stay out of it."

"Fine, I'm sorry, I was just teasing," I said, smiling a little more genuinely. So nothing happened? He was just her friend. The pain and anger inside me evaporated somewhat, but not completely. It was pretty obvious Jacob wanted to be more than friends with her and after what she'd said I knew he would eventually get hurt. I wondered if I should say anything to him.

Bella hung around for an hour after Jacob returned and then Charlie drove by and picked her up. Jacob looked like he wanted to take off and go with her, but he stayed and worked on the car.

A dozen times I almost said something, but I kept swallowing the words, convinced I would sound ridiculous. However, it wasn't long before Jacob started to talk about her again, telling me how amazing she was. I wondered if she had made it clear she only wanted a friend and that she still loved Edward, or if she was letting him think there was a chance for him while she just used him to cheer herself up. I couldn't believe she didn't know how he felt; most of the time it was written all over his face when he looked at her.

"You're pretty fond of her," I commented now when he finally paused for breath.

"I love her," he said.

I don't know what I expected him to say, but hearing those three words hit me between the eyes and I gripped the side of the engine well I was bending over until my knuckles turned white. I had to face up to how I felt and stop pretending that I could remain his friend and that I still loved Leah. I didn't love her; I was fooling everyone. I wanted Jacob to love _me_, but why would he? He was just a normal kid falling for a girl and I was helpless in the grip of an Imprinting I hadn't expected or wanted.

I took a deep breath and straightened up, turning to look at him and hoping I didn't look as miserable as I felt.

"Jacob, she's not right for you," I said quietly.

"How can you say that? Can you see into the future?" asked Jacob, his happy expression dissolving into a frown.

"No, but she's in love with a blood-sucker. He's been gone months and she's still pining for him. What does that say to you?"

"That she'll get over it and when she does, I'll still be here." His jaw clenched for a moment and he avoided looking at me. Then he turned and walked out of the shop.

"Jake..." I followed him a few paces and then stopped. He wasn't going to listen to me. He was in that zone where I'd been when I started dating Leah - I wouldn't have heard a bad word about her. Only Jacob wasn't dating Bella, he just hoped to be while she loved someone else.

"Maybe she won't get over it," I muttered to myself. "When you realise that, _I'll_ still be here." I turned away and snatched up a wrench. What was I saying? That I wanted him now? I broke out in a sweat. 'Get a hold of yourself, Sam, you're his friend and that's all.'

I knew that wasn't all, but I still wasn't ready to think about anything else in detail. I was constantly filled with guilt that I was feeling like this while at the same time pretending to Leah that nothing had changed and I was overwhelmed with the confusion I was feeling where Jacob was concerned.

I worked a little longer, then locked the building and went home. My Mom was out and had a left a note for me saying she was at the Clearwaters'. I was glad to have the house to myself, but I wasn't alone for long. An hour later the doorbell rang and I groaned aloud, wondering if I ignored it the visitor would go away. Then the thought that there was a slight chance it might be Jacob had me dragging myself off the sofa and hurrying to the door. It wasn't Jacob - it was Embry.

I was shocked when I saw him. He looked irritable and sulky, his eyes almost black. He wore only cargo pants and a sleeveless t-shirt despite the snow on the ground and his arms and shoulders were muscular where the last time I had seen him they had been slender and boyish. Had I really been so tied up with my own agonies that I hadn't noticed? I remembered the last time I'd seen him had been at the party, but I'd more or less ignored him.

"Embry!"

"Oh, you can remember my name than," he said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry," I said at once. "I've been..."

"Busy, yeah, I know. You spend more time with my best friend that you do me! Even Leah barely sees you."

"Have you spoken to her?" I asked.

"No, but I spoke to Seth. She's in a lousy mood all the time, she thinks you don't care about her any more."

I was instantly filled with guilt, for both Leah and Embry.

"Why don't you come in?" I offered.

"I don't want to fucking come in, Sam," he snapped.

"Well, what do you want then? Did you just come around for a fight? I have my own life, you know, Embry," I retorted and then immediately regretted it. It was clear he was close to phasing and adding to his temper was stupid. I needed to tell him before it was too late.

He glowered at me. "You're my _brother_!" he exclaimed. "You know, sometimes I actually might want to talk to you; ask your advice and stuff."

I felt even worse when I heard that comment. "Embry, please, come in," I said. "I'll talk to you now. I have something important to tell you."

"Oh, so now you want to talk? Now it suits you? Fuck off, Sam." He turned and jumped off the porch, landing in a crouch. As he started to push himself upright he began to shiver and I saw that it was already too late to talk to him.

"Embry. Stay still. Relax," I said, but by the time the last word was out of my mouth, I found myself talking to a wolf. He was dark grey with a lighter coloured face. His dark eyes were wide and showing the whites in panic as he jerked his head left and right, glancing at himself in much the same way I had done when I first phased. Then he turned and bounded off across the meadow towards the woods.

"Shit," I muttered. I knew exactly what he was going through and it was my fault. If I'd paid more attention to him, noticed him changing, I could have talked to him. Tiffany probably just thought he was a growing boy trying to impress the girls by working out and he didn't see much of Jared and Paul either, as they were either with me or doing their own thing. I was so busy wallowing in my own misery I hadn't helped him when I could have.

Now I stepped back into the house, locked the door, ran to my room and undressed quickly. I opened the window wide, phased indoors and then leaped out, landing neatly on my paws on the grass. No one was around and I flew towards the woods in pursuit of Embry. I could hear his thoughts immediately I began chasing him and it took me less than a half hour to find him. He was perhaps five miles down the path, cowering in the undergrowth, eyes filled with fear and confusion.

I stopped dead and sat down maybe ten feet away as my appearance caused his fright to increase further.

"_Embry, I'm sorry. I should have told you_," I said in my head.

"_Sam?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"The legends are true?"_

_"Yes."_

_"How could you not tell me?"_

_"We were pretty sure it wouldn't happen to you. It's a Quileute thing and your Mom's Makah."_

_"Who's 'we'?" _

_"Me and Billy. He told me everything. There haven't been shape-shifters since his grandfather's time. He wasn't quick enough though, I phased - changed into a wolf - the way you did, without knowing first. It scared the shit out of me. It was that time I disappeared for two weeks right after the bonfire when you and Jacob got drunk."_

Embry rose slowly to his feet and walked towards me.

_"I'm sorry," _I said again. _"Like you said, I never have any time for you. If I'd been with you more, I'd have seen it was going to happen."_

_"Are there others?"_

_"Jared and Paul."_

_"Not Jacob?"_

_"Not yet." _My guard was down and I hadn't expected to hear his name. Immediately my mind was flooded with thoughts I had been so careful to hide when Jared and Paul phased with me. 'He loves Bella and I want him to love _me_.' I couldn't catch it and squash it back down before Embry picked up on it.

"_You love _Jacob_? Holy shit, Sam, are you gay? What about Leah?"_

_"You've got to keep that to yourself, Embry, promise me!"_

_"Does he know?"_ Embry thought, ignoring me.

_"Promise me!" _I sprang to my feet, panicking.

_"Alright, I'm not gonna tell him, or anybody,"_ Embry responded. _"Isn't it you who's supposed to be reassuring me here? Do Jared and Paul know?"_

_"No. I'm real careful to not think about it. Him."_

_"So are you, then? Gay?" _

_"No! I don't know."_ I knew I was going to have to tell him the whole story so it made sense. I ran through it right from the beginning; the shock when I Imprinted on him, my anxiety and denial afterwards, reading Billy's books to try and make sense of it and lastly my guilt over Leah.

_"You have to tell her," _Embry said when I finished. _"She loves you."_

_"I know. I was trying to convince myself that it would all go away and I wouldn't have to. You're not going to tell him, are you, Embry?" _

_"Of course I'm not going to tell him, I said so, didn't I? What would I say? 'Hey, Jake, my brother has the hots for you.' Come on."_

I cringed with embarrassment at his words. _"It's not like that."_

_"Whatever. I won't tell him, Sam," _Embry repeated. _"Now are you going to get it together and tell me about what I turned into?"_

_"Sorry."_ I apologised once more and made myself sit down again. He didn't seem scared any more and I guessed my revelation had shocked him enough to make him forget about his fear.

I spent the next hour or so telling him everything, including more about Imprinting and controlling the phasing, reminding him not to try it before we got close enough to home to not risk being arrested by Charlie for streaking. By the time we did return home, Embry felt much better and despite my initial mortification, so did I. At least now I had someone to confide in.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I led Embry back to the house, cautiously glancing around to make sure no one saw us. We made it to my open window and I phased back, climbed inside and got dressed. Embry was only about a minute behind me and I tossed him a pair of jeans.

"You must get through some clothes," he said wryly.

"Well, I try not to do it too often without warning," I said.

He hung around for a little while longer and then left. I couldn't help feeling nervous now that he knew how I felt about Jacob, but he had promised to keep it to himself so I was just going to have to trust him.

The following week was Jacob's sixteenth birthday. Billy had intended to pay for driving lessons for him, but discovered it would cost more than he could afford. He decided to throw a party for Jacob instead and buy him a couple of smaller gifts.

That solved a problem for me because I had no idea whether to get him a gift or not. I'd given Embry some CDs for his birthday, but he was my brother. I hadn't bought things for the other guys. So I told Jacob I would teach him to drive, starting as soon as he got his permit with forty-five minutes each evening after work in the truck. He was delighted and took to it like a duck to water.

The party was a few days after his actual birthday on the Saturday night and Billy's house was filled with dozens of people, some spilling out into the yard and the doors and windows standing open to let the music out. I didn't enjoy myself, but I went along to please everyone else. I spent most of the evening with Embry and Leah and wished I was anywhere else but in a crowd of people.

The following day Bella came over, driving the truck Charlie had bought for her from Billy when she first arrived in Forks. I had given Jacob an extra driving lesson in the morning and then we stopped off at the shop to work on the Corvette for a couple of hours. When Bella pulled up outside Jacob went to speak to her and I carried on with what I was doing, ignoring them until they came into the building. Jacob was wheeling a battered motorcycle that was covered in rust and dirt and with various parts missing.

"What the hell is that?" I asked.

"There's two of them. One's my birthday gift from Bella." He leaned the bike against the wall and went to fetch the other. "We're going to fix them up," he said when he reappeared.

"Billy will love that," I said dryly. "Parents hate motorcycles."

"Mine do, my Dad would have a coronary if he saw these," Bella said. "We'll have to keep them here out of sight. It'll be fun."

She hung around while Jacob tinkered with the bikes until I decided to close up, then she took off back to Forks and said she'd join us after school the next day. I wasn't too thrilled with the idea of Jacob working on the bikes with Bella instead of working on the Corvette with me, but it pleased him so I swallowed my irritation and let him use my account at a motor warehouse to get parts at wholesale price. I even helped him with the bikes sometimes when there were things he couldn't figure out from the manual he'd bought.

Jacob finally got the bike which was to be his own finished one Friday night when it was just us and no Bella for once. I took a brief ride on it up and down the street, then watched him lurch and wobble around until he got to grips with the clutch and gears and began to ride properly. It was the first time I'd actually felt happy in quite a while, but I knew it wouldn't last long.

On Saturday, Bella came over and they finished her bike. Jacob showed her how to ride and then they took off together, Bella swerving and wobbling all over the road until they disappeared out of sight. My mood turned sour and I locked the shop up and went home. Jacob had a key now so he could put the bikes away later if he wanted.

It wasn't until Monday that I discovered Bella had taken a spill and cut her head. Jacob refused to let her ride any more after that and intended to sell her bike, much to her disappointment. I felt somewhat smug. With the bike project finished, maybe she would monopolise him a little less, but that didn't happen. Now able to get around more easily with the motorcycle, Jacob took off to Forks every night after work and stayed at her house as late as he could manage without annoying Charlie and Billy too much.

This continued for the rest of the week and by Friday I felt as if those five days had lasted a month. I was surly and bad-tempered, I fought with Leah on Tuesday and I couldn't even be myself while Jacob was working with me. I was constantly glancing at the clock thinking that he would soon be running off to be with Bella again.

I didn't know what to do about it; nothing made me feel better and I was still trying to fool everyone that I was fine. I spent Friday thinking about what Embry had said to me about Leah and I knew he was right. She deserved much better than she was getting from me. She had even asked me recently if I had another girl, to which I'd truthfully answered 'no', but the guilt was eating away at me and I had to do something about it. Soon. Next week maybe, I faltered.

Later I drove over to the school to pick up Jacob and Quil as usual, but was surprised to find Embry waiting there by himself.

"Aren't you working?" I asked.

"No, the store's closing early to do a stock take," he said as he climbed into the truck.

"Where are Quil and Jacob?"

"Quil's got detention," Embry smirked. "Got caught smoking."

I grinned. "What about Jacob?" I repeated.

"He skipped school," Embry told me. "He called me this morning and asked me to tell the school he's sick."

"Is he ok?" I asked as I steered the truck out into the traffic.

"I don't know, he sounded pretty fed up. He was at Bella's late last night."

I cursed under my breath before I could stop myself. The amount of time he was spending with her now was giving me that pain in my chest which I'd previously only got when I didn't see him at all.

Embry turned his head and stared at me, eyebrows raised. "You're jealous," he said.

"Shut up, Embry." I could feel myself flushing.

"You know they're just friends, right? She talks about nothing but Edward."

"I know. But he's nuts about her and he'll get hurt," I muttered.

"Well, maybe you ought to tell him he's got another option," Embry said with a smile.

I glared at him and he didn't say anything else on the drive back to La Push; nor did I. I was tense and angry and I concentrated on taking deep breaths and keeping my eyes on the road. I couldn't get Jacob out of my head and now I wondered if he was even going to come to work that day.

I dropped Embry off home and drove back to the shop. I had finished working on the two customers' cars I had in and I decided to spend some time on the Corvette. I'd salvaged a fairly pristine hood for it to replace the damaged one and I needed to strip off the lacquer and paint. I donned ear defenders and a mask, grabbed the sander and got to work.

Engrossed in work and thoughts, I didn't notice Jacob arrive some time later. When I finished the hood and took a break, I saw him at the other side of the garage. His back was towards me as he bent over the engine well of the Corvette, his hair loose and falling around his face.

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in," I said.

He just shrugged and carried on with what he was doing. I put the mask and ear defenders down and unplugged the sander. A loud clang came from the Corvette and Jacob swore loudly and dropped his wrench on the ground, clutching his hand.

"Jacob, are you alright?" I called.

"Yeah," he grunted and sniffed hard. He picked up the wrench, his back still turned and I noticed a few droplets of blood fall from his hand and hit the floor.

"Shit, what did you do?" I hurried over to him and grabbed his arm to turn him around. My hand gripped solid muscle, but I ignored it for the moment.

"It's nothing," he said thickly, not looking at me. It was only then I realised he was crying and I forgot about his wounded hand for a moment. He didn't look like someone who'd been out half the night enjoying himself with the person he claimed he loved.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Wrench slipped," he muttered.

"I didn't mean that."

"Nothing. Just leave it, I'm ok," he said.

"Well, let me see your hand then." I grasped his wrist and lifted it up. There was a deep cut at the base of his thumb, running freely with blood. "Hell," I groaned, steering him over to the sink. "You'll be lucky if this doesn't need stitches."

He didn't answer and simply stood there grinding his teeth while I washed his hand, opened up the first aid kit on the counter and covered up the cut with a sterile pad and a bandage.

"I think you'll get away with it. You want me to drive you home?" I offered.

"No, I'm alright." He opened the refrigerator and took out a bottle of coke, then went to sit down on the couch.

I wasn't sure what to do. I knew him well enough now to know that I wouldn't get anything out of him if I pressed, but he was clearly terribly upset about something. I grabbed myself a coke and went to sit down with him, wrenching the cap off the bottle with my teeth as I'd got into the habit of doing.

"I wish you wouldn't do that, it's freaky," Jacob said after a moment.

"Yeah, I know. My Mom says I'll wreck my teeth." I gulped half of the coke and put the bottle down, then stayed silent and waited for him to say something. It might take a while, but I guessed he would in the end. To my surprise, it was only a few minutes.

"She doesn't love me," he grunted.

"What?"

"Bella." He almost choked on her name. "I thought with Edward gone, when she got over it she'd want to be with me."

"I'm sorry," I said. I was anything but sorry. The thought that Bella might eventually fall into Jacob's arms was my worst nightmare, but I couldn't bear seeing him so hurt. The look on his face caused me physical pain.

"No, you're not, you can't stand her," Jacob said.

"She's not my favourite person, but I hate seeing you this miserable."

"I thought she was getting over him; _Edward_." He spat the name as if it was a nasty taste in his mouth. "She seemed happy working on the bikes with me, fooling about. I thought she was growing to love me. She thinks I'm just a stupid kid." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and hanging his head, sighing heavily.

"She said that?"

"No. It's how I feel." He sniffed again. "Sorry. You don't want to hear all this crap."

"Of course I do," I said softly. "I'm your friend, you can talk to me about anything."

He didn't reply and I lifted my hand to reach out to him, then snatched it back and laid it on my knee, biting my lip. After a long moment I raised it again, stretched my arm out slowly and rested my hand on the back of his neck. I thought he might jump away or push me off, but his head dropped lower and he put his hands over his face.

I wasn't quite sure what I should do and just sat there for a moment with my hand still on him, over-analysing things like I sometimes did before I told myself to just go with instinct. I reached out with my other hand and gripped his arm, pulling him around to face me. He didn't look up, but he took his hands away from his face and slumped against my shoulder. Somehow my arms slid around him and he didn't pull away or protest. He sucked his breath in through his teeth and let it out shakily; I felt the warmth of it on my neck and then the wetness of his tears as he gave up trying to hold his pain inside. I could feel his misery almost as acutely as if it were me that had been hurt, a sharpness in my stomach and chest which made it hard to breathe.

It took him a few minutes to get control of himself, but he still didn't pull away. I stroked one hand over his hair, thinking that it felt like silk and it was a shame he was likely to phase soon as he would have to cut it off.

"Sorry," he said then, his voice muffled against my shoulder.

"It's ok."

He began to straighten up and draw away from me and I let go of him reluctantly. I'd enjoyed holding him far too much, despite the fact that I only had the chance to do it because he was so crushed. Now he leaned back against the cushions beside me and propped his feet up on an empty oil drum.

"I keep telling myself I should have left things how they were and then it would still be alright, but I suppose I was just fooling myself," he said, almost as if he were talking to himself. "I kissed her. She was totally shocked. Said she only thought of me as a friend."

I suddenly wondered if I kissed Jacob, would he be totally shocked? He'd probably punch me, I thought, surprised that I could think about kissing him and not be horrified by the idea. He wasn't looking at me and I found myself glancing at his mouth, wondering if his lips were as soft as they looked. I gulped and snatched up my drink, draining the bottle quickly and almost choking myself.

"You can say 'I told you so'. I wouldn't blame you," Jacob said.

"I wouldn't do that."

"You did warn me, though. You said she's not right for me." He turned his head and looked at me at last. His eyes were dark and full of misery.

"You can't help who you fall in love with," I said and quickly lowered my eyes.

"No, I guess not." He took a drink of his own coke. "Can I hang out here for a while?"

"Sure, as long as you want," I said at once.

"Cool." Jacob got to his feet suddenly and headed back over to the Corvette. I joined him and we worked on it for another couple of hours before we locked up.

I didn't sleep well that night, my mind in a turmoil. I couldn't stop thinking about Jacob; how I had felt his pain, how I'd liked holding him and I eventually remembered how much his muscles had grown. He could phase at any time. I would have to speak to him, but before that I would talk to Leah. The episode at the shop had decided me. I was being an idiot putting it off and in addition I was just making her miserable. I would have to tell her it was over.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

I went over to the Clearwaters' first thing in the morning. Their car was missing from the driveway, but I went to ring the doorbell anyway, hoping Leah was home. I didn't want to put it off any longer now I'd made my mind up. Seth opened the door, a jacket in one hand which he began to put on as he spoke to me.

"Is Leah in?" I asked.

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen," said Seth.

"Are you parents out?"

"Yeah, they went visiting early."

I felt some relief; at least I could talk to her in the house rather than go out and sit in the truck. Seth was clearly going out too.

"See you later," he added and stepped past me.

"Yeah." I went inside and closed the door, my heart beginning to thump nervously. "Leah?"

"Hey, Sam." She appeared in the kitchen doorway, still wearing pyjamas and holding a mug of coffee. "I didn't expect to see you this early. Actually I didn't expect to see you at all today." She sounded faintly accusing.

"Sorry," I said. Great, I was apologising already. I needed to save the grovelling for after I'd told her. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Sounds ominous."

"You want to sit down?" I suggested.

"Do I need to sit down?"

"I don't know." I bit my lip. "I haven't anything good to say."

"Why don't you just spit it out, Sam?" she said with a sigh. I was sure she knew what was coming.

"I don't think it's working any more. I think we should break up," I blurted out. I had no idea of the best way to tell her; it wasn't like I'd ever done it before. I almost wished I'd just done something to make her break up with me instead, but that would have been the coward's way.

"Don't pull any punches, will you?" Leah's face went white and her eyes darkened. "You think it's not working? If it's not, then it's because you don't put anything into it. Lately it seems like you'd rather be with anyone else. Hell, you spend more time with Jacob Black than you do me."

"He works with me," I said, feeling myself reddening.

"Whatever. What I want to know is what happened. Did I do something wrong?"

"You didn't do anything," I said. "It's not you at all, it's..."

"Sam, don't you dare say 'it's not you, it's me', that's just pathetic!" Leah exclaimed, her eyes flashing with sudden anger.

"Well, it is me," I sighed.

"Is it another girl?"

"You asked me that before," I reminded her.

"Well, is it? If you're breaking up with me, you might as well tell me the truth."

"I am telling you the truth. There's no other girl, I swear."

"Then what? You just fell out of love with me?"

"I guess."

"You guess? Jeez, Sam. After eighteen months I thought maybe I deserved better than that. You know what? I'm glad you broke up with me, because if you make so little effort to communicate with me over however long it is that you've been falling out of love with me, then I've probably had a lucky escape."

"I'm really sorry, Leah," I said.

"So am I." She glowered at me for a long moment, during which I couldn't think of anything else to say. "Get out," she finished quietly. "Go back to your weird friends."

I went to the door and she followed me, closing it firmly behind me. I didn't walk away immediately and I soon wished I had because I heard her burst into tears. She might as well have stabbed me with a blunt instrument. I was filled with guilt and agony that I'd caused her so much hurt; the only thing I could compare the pain to was the way I felt over Jacob and right now I didn't even want to think about him. Me Imprinting on him was the cause of Leah standing the other side of the door sobbing her heart out.

I walked slowly back to the truck and drove home. I didn't want to face Jacob so I didn't bother opening up the shop that morning. I went home and sprawled on my bed. My Mom had gone out and I didn't move until she got back and asked what I was doing lying about in my room when I was usually working on Saturday mornings.

"I don't feel like it," I said.

"Aren't you feeling well?"

"Not really." I closed my eyes, hoping she wouldn't notice how miserable I was.

"Try and get some sleep then," she said. "Give me a shout if you want anything." She went out and closed the door quietly.

My phone rang a few minutes later and I stared at it while it jingled insistently, five, six, seven times. I snatched it up.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, Sam, it's Jacob."

My heart leaped into my mouth, despite me having not wanted to think about him just yet. I glanced at the caller display and realised he was at the shop. He must have opened up and was wondering where I was.

"Sam?"

"Yeah." I found I could barely speak, my thoughts and emotions too tangled up in my torment over Leah and sudden almost uncontrollable longing for Jacob.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah. No. I'm sick, I'm not going to work today," I said.

"Oh, ok. I hope it's nothing serious."

"No. I'll be fine. I'm just going to sleep it off."

"I'll leave you to it then."

"Sure. See you soon." I hung up before he could reply. I wanted to see him so badly, but I knew I was in no condition to spend time with him. I couldn't get the sound of Leah crying out of my head and pain knifed through me again as I thought about it.

I spent the rest of the day moping about in my room and pretended I was asleep when my Mom checked on me. I felt sick with myself and I couldn't seem to get it together. I was almost tempted to phase and run off into the woods for a couple of days; in wolf form somehow things were easier to deal with, but I resisted the urge. I simply wallowed in self pity, half of me in agony that I'd hurt Leah and the other half aching to see Jacob.

On Sunday, Embry called me. Now that he was part of the pack, my Sundays with Jared and Paul had begun to include him, but since none of them had heard from me Embry had been appointed to hunt me down.

"Where are you?" he asked when I snatched up the phone, longing for it to be Jacob on the other end of the line.

"I'm in my room, obviously," I growled.

"Well, why aren't you here?"

"You mean you haven't heard?"

"Heard what?"

Surprisingly word hadn't yet got around. I would have thought Leah would be bad-mouthing me to half the reservation. Maybe she was shut in her room crying. I squeezed my eyes shut and shivered.

"I broke it off with Leah yesterday," I said after a moment.

"How did she take it?" Embry asked.

"Not well."

"Doesn't mean you have to hide in your room," he said.

"I feel like shit, Embry," I groaned.

"You mean you regret it?"

"No, I feel guilty for hurting her."

"Well, don't dwell on it," he said. "Least you're free now."

"Yeah, well I want some time on my own for a while," I told him.

"Ok. I guess I'll catch up with you later in the week." Embry left me to it and I threw myself back down on the bed and wished away the rest of the day.

I made an effort to get up and eat dinner on Sunday night although I didn't have much of an appetite. I shoved the fried chicken my Mom had made around the plate and half-heartedly nibbled a few small pieces. Mom just eyed me with concern and didn't ask. Eventually I shoved the plate away.

"Have you heard?"

"Of course I've heard, Sam, Sue called me. I was waiting for you to say something."

"Did she say how Leah is?" I asked.

"She's very upset. I thought things were ok between you. You loved her, didn't you?"

I scrubbed my hands over my face and groaned. "Yeah, I did, but...I don't know...I guess I wanted my own space; I grew away from her."

"You met someone else?"

"No." That much was true. The first time I met Jacob, although briefly, had been not long after he was born when I was three years old.

"Well, I can't pretend to understand, but I'm sure you know what's best for you."

That was all she said and I was relieved. Mostly my Mom was pretty cool, even when I'd been younger and done things she probably thought were insane. She hadn't even said anything after the bonfire when I disappeared for two weeks and turned up naked as a jaybird. I'd wondered on and off if she knew everything, but I'd never mentioned it and nor had she. Now I took a long shower and went back to bed, hoping I would feel better in the morning.

I didn't feel better on Monday and I began to wonder if I was destined to feel anguish over Leah indefinitely. I tried to remember what Billy's books had said about Imprinting on someone when you were in love with someone else. It had said something about the shape-shifter suffering intensely for causing pain to their lover in order to be with their Imprintee. I sighed heavily. It didn't feel like it was going away any time soon.

At least I did have something to look forward to. Jacob would be coming to work in - I glanced at the clock on the office wall - six hours. I got on with servicing the van which had just come in and then changed the brake pads and shoes on an ancient small car owned by an old lady. I was filling in some time with the Corvette when Jacob turned up.

"Hey, Sam."

"Hey."

"You're better then," he said.

"Yeah, it was nothing really." I looked up at him and realised I'd been so wrapped up in my own problems I had completely forgotten what was going on with him. He took his jacket off now and I noticed the t-shirt he was wearing appeared to have shrunk although I knew it was because he had filled out. His pecs were clearly defined and the muscles in his arms bulged. He actually looked pretty amazing.

I turned away quickly, embarrassed, hoping he hadn't noticed me staring. I didn't want to think like that, at least not right now. I couldn't go more than about ten minutes without my heart clenching painfully for Leah and now there was the more pressing matter of Jacob's apparent imminent phasing to deal with. I didn't want him to go through what Embry and I did and I decided to call Billy the minute I was alone.

I didn't have any other jobs to do that day and Jacob helped me work on the Corvette. I barely spoke until it was almost time to finish and lock up and I was clumsy and awkward in what I was doing. In addition I was getting a headache caused by my torment over Leah and I was uncomfortable at my proximity to Jacob now I'd been forced to admit that I was finding him attractive. I kept remembering how he felt in my arms on Friday and wanting to reach out and touch him.

"What's wrong with you? Are you still sick?" he asked as we finished up and got ready to leave.

"No, I'm fine," I said.

"You look...I don't know, miserable."

"It's nothing," I grunted.

"It doesn't look like nothing," Jacob said. "You look like I feel." He hadn't said anything about it that day, but I knew he was still cut up over Bella and would probably stay that way for some time.

"I split with Leah," I blurted out now and then wished I'd kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to talk about it again; it had been bad enough speaking to Embry and my Mom.

"What? Why? What happened?" He looked stunned. "I thought you two were in it for the long haul."

I shrugged. "It wasn't working."

"She's crazy about you," he said.

I flinched as if he had struck me. Him saying that only made me feel worse than I already did.

"I don't want to talk about this, Jacob," I said gruffly.

"But can't you work it out? You two were so good together," he persisted.

"Leave it, will you?" I said through my teeth. It was clear he wasn't going to and I would have to say something. "I don't love her. I can't go on pretending."

"Well, if you wanted to break up, why do you look so sad?" he persisted.

"Because I feel like a shit that I hurt her when she never did anything wrong. Please, Jake, just drop it," I begged.

"I'm sorry." He reached out and squeezed my shoulder for a second. He drew his hand back quickly, but not before I felt the heat in it; heat that hadn't been there on Friday. He didn't have much time left.

"Shit," I muttered. I switched the lights off and locked up while Jacob went to get in the truck. He planned to go over to Embry's for a while so I dropped him off there before I went home. Mom was cooking dinner and I said a brief hello and went to my room. I picked up the phone immediately and called Billy.

"It's Sam," I said and continued before he had chance to greet me. "We have to talk to Jacob. Have you noticed his muscles? He's burning up too."

There was silence for a moment.

"Billy?

"I hear you, Sam," he said quietly. "I was hoping it wouldn't happen. That he'd stay safe."

"He'll be safe if anything happens, Billy, he'll be with the pack; with me."

'I'll protect him with my life,' I thought fiercely and then froze, hoping I hadn't said it.

"Where is he now?" Billy asked.

"At Embry's."

"You should talk to him."

"I thought you'd want to tell him yourself," I said in surprise.

"You know what he's like, he won't listen to me about something like this and if he takes off, I can't exactly run after him, can I? It's better coming from you."

"Alright. When?" My heart began to thump wildly in sudden panic at the thought that Jacob may shoot the messenger. Somehow I felt he wouldn't welcome the news and he could end up fighting with me.

"Today. Better not to waste any time. I don't want him to go through what you had to."

"He's not going to want to hear it right now," I said. "He's pretty broken up over Bella. She shot him down on Thursday."

I heard Billy groan at the other end of the phone. "I wondered what was wrong with him, he wouldn't talk to me," he said. "But it has to be done. At least it'll give him something else to focus on."

"Shit," I muttered.

"Sam!"

"I'm sorry, Billy," I said at once. "Let me know when he's home and I'll come over."


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

It was just before nine that Billy called me to tell me Jacob had come in and gone straight to his room. I grabbed the truck keys and headed for the door.

"Going out again?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, Billy called, he needs some help with something," I said.

"Can't it wait until morning?"

"Not really. I'm not sure how long I'll be."

I went out before she could ask me anything else and drove over to Billy's quickly. He had told me to let myself in when I got there and I did just that. I found him in the kitchen.

"I would take him out somewhere, just in case...you know..." Billy said. He looked sad and worried. I was pretty worried myself; I just knew what I had to say wasn't going to go down well. I wasn't sure why; maybe because that day I'd been reading books with Jacob he'd said he had never been interested in the stories and thought it was all fairy tales. Still, there was a time when I'd thought that myself.

I went to his room now, knocked briefly and opened the door. He was lying face down on the bed, his head resting on his folded arms. He looked up and his eyes widened when he saw it was me.

"Sam, what are you doing here?"

"I want to talk to you," I said.

"_Now_? What about?"

"Not here, ok? Let's go out."

Jacob frowned and turned over onto his back. "What's so important?"

He clearly wasn't going to just get up and follow me and I couldn't think of a good excuse without hinting at what I was going to say. Before I could think about it I reached down and grasped hold of his wrist, pulling him to his feet quickly. "Come on," I said.

"Hey, what are you doing?" He eyed my hand on his arm suspiciously and I let go at once.

"Just come with me, will you, and stop being so stubborn," I grumbled.

"Fine." He bent to pull a pair of sneakers out from beneath the bed and shoved his feet into them. "I'm ready."

I turned and led the way back outside to the truck, hearing him muttering to himself as he followed.

"I don't know why you can't just talk to me here. Where are we going?"

I ignored him and pulled open the passenger door of the truck, gesturing for him to get in. He glanced at me curiously for a second and then climbed up, slouching back in the seat and resting his feet on the dash. I slammed the door and scooted around to the other side. The keys were in the ignition and I started the truck up quickly and pumped the gas. I drove across to the other side of the reservation and parked up close to the woods. Jacob didn't speak on the short journey and looked just as sullen and sulky as he had before I began to get to know him. I got out of the truck now and had to wait a moment before he opened his door and jumped out.

"What's this about?" he asked again. "You know how I'm feeling right now, I'm not in the mood for talking."

"I know, I'm not either really, but it can't wait," I said.

"Ok." He leaned against a nearby tree and folded his arms. My eyes were immediately drawn to his muscles and despite the awkward situation, my mouth went dry.

"Sam?" Jacob's brow furrowed and I pulled myself together.

"It's about the Quileute shape-shifter legend," I said, having no clue how to tell him. It hadn't been anywhere near this difficult with Jared, or even Paul in his rage.

"Are you serious? You brought me out here to talk about my Dad's stupid books?"

"It's not just a legend, it's real." Even to my own ears it sounded like I was talking garbage.

Jacob scowled. "Have you been drinking or something?"

"You know I don't drink," I snapped.

I took a couple of deep breaths and tried to calm my anxiety and irritation. What was wrong with me? I didn't blame him one bit for scoffing at me. I went back to the beginning and reminded him about how I disappeared after the bonfire, how it had been because I phased - turned into a wolf - and the shock and fear had made me run off because no one had told me about it beforehand.

"Why are you doing this?" he interrupted. "You think telling me this bullshit is going to take my mind off Bella?" He shoved himself away from the tree and paced about.

I wasn't sure what to do for the best and the only thing I could think of was to phase and prove what I was saying, but I knew that would just scare the shit out of him. However, once the thought was in my head, mixed with my worry about him resenting me, my rising annoyance that he wouldn't listen and my pain over Leah, my temperature started to rise and I could feel my control slipping. I tried to push the heat in me back down, but I couldn't calm myself. My peripheral vision began to narrow and I turned away from him to unbutton my jeans, horrified at the thought of phasing and tearing them off; then I'd be stuck out here with him with nothing to wear.

"What the fuck, Sam?" Jacob gasped.

I glanced over my shoulder at him as I kicked my feet free of the jeans and dragged my t-shirt off. His eyes were wide with shock, but he and everything around him seemed to be shrinking away from me as I headed towards that swirling tunnel.

"What did you bring me out here for exactly?" demanded Jacob.

I spun around, hoping to make one more attempt to explain myself before it was too late. It was already too late. I was filled with a mixture of pain, embarrassment and fear and the lot rolled together like a ball of fire in my chest.

"Damnit," I muttered, breathing deep and trying desperately to calm down. The word sounded completely incoherent even to me; it was virtually a growl.

"Shit, Sam, you're naked!" Jacob barked at me, his face red and his eyes darting about, trying to fix on anything other than me. I phased before I could think any more about slowing it down and the look of shock and discomfort on Jake's face switched to terror. He backed up against the nearest tree.

_'Jacob, it's ok,' _I said inside my head. I knew he wouldn't hear me, but I lowered my head and did my best not to look menacing.

"You're a fucking wolf!" he exclaimed, his voice shaking a little and ending with a slightly hysterical laugh.

I sat down now, then stretched my paws out in front of me until I was lying flat on my belly and attempted to communicate with my eyes. I aimed to merely look friendly, but I probably looked like an adoring puppy as I gazed at him.

"I suppose you can turn back?" he asked hesitantly. I nodded my head.

"I'm sorry," Jacob said suddenly. "I should have listened. I guess you can understand why I didn't believe you, I mean...this is crazy."

I nodded again. Much to my surprise, he stepped away from the tree now and moved towards me. "You won't bite me, will you?"

'_No._' I shook my head slowly.

Jacob's hand reached out tentatively and touched my nose a little way above my snout, then continued up to stroke between my ears for a few seconds. I half closed my eyes, amazed by his apparent rapid acceptance of what I was after his initial reaction to what I said. He pulled his hand back.

"Wow," he said under his breath.

I grinned and when Jacob backed up again hastily, I realised it must have looked like a snarl. I shut my mouth and willed myself to phase back. Even now I hadn't got it down to a fine art; sometimes it happened when I wanted and sometimes not. This time it did. I hastily reached out and grabbed my jeans, dragging them on while Jacob stared at the ground and shuffled his feet.

"You get in the habit of taking your clothes off first if you can, they rip to shreds if you phase when you're dressed," I babbled, pulling my t-shirt on now.

"Are there any more like you?" Jacob asked.

"Jared, Paul and Embry."

"_Embry_? Why didn't he say anything?" He looked a little hurt that his best friend hadn't confided in him.

"It's my job, not his. I'm the Alpha; the pack leader," I explained. "No one thought Embry would even phase because his mother's not Quileute."

Jacob stared back at me and I could almost see his mind working. "You didn't tell Embry because you thought he wouldn't phase...so you're telling me because...shit, Sam," he finished.

"It's not going to be long," I said. "Have you seen yourself lately? You look like you've been working out in the gym several hours a day. And your temperature's up. I felt it when you touched my shoulder earlier. That's the two main signs. Remember when I took you and Embry swimming that day and I was burning up?"

Jacob nodded, biting his lip and I began to repeat what I'd said earlier when he'd refused to listen.

"It happened to me the first time right after the bonfire. I was mad because you two were drunk and I knew I'd be in the shit with your Dad for not watching you. Billy didn't have the chance to tell me and suddenly I was a wolf and it scared the hell out of me. That's why I ran off. I was so scared and stressed I didn't change back for two weeks and I didn't want anyone to see me. I thought I was stuck like that. When I came over to your house and your Dad told you to go out for an hour, he told me everything."

Jacob didn't say anything, but his brows were drawn together in a frown and his jaw twitched where he was clenching his teeth. He turned away suddenly and began to head back to the truck. His acceptance had lasted only as long as he thought it was just me; the thought of shifting himself didn't please him one bit.

"Jacob!" I hurried after him. "Stop, will you? You can't just walk away from it."

He stopped and spun around to face me as I caught up with him. "Go to hell, Sam!" he snapped. "I don't want this!"

"You don't have a choice."

"Leave me alone!" He thrust both hands out and shoved me away from him. I staggered back a step. His strength was almost equal to mine.

"Jacob, calm down," I said.

"Calm _down_? You just told me I'm gonna turn into a fucking wolf! How the hell do you expect me to calm down? I like my life the way it is. I don't want...!"

"You like your life?" I interrupted. "I haven't seen you happy since that leech-lover moved into town!" I unconsciously used the expression Leah had adopted for Bella. Leah had hated her even more than I did.

"Don't call her that!" he raged.

"Stop!" I gripped his upper arms now and thrust him back against a tree trunk, holding him there, mentally kicking myself for saying that about Bella even though the statement had been true; she had repeatedly made him miserable. The way things were going his temper would make him phase right there and I knew I was in danger of getting myself hurt. His skin was on fire and his eyes were just black, the irises swallowed up by the pupils. "Take a breath," I said. "Listen to me."

For another moment he just glared at me, but then he took a long shuddering breath and then another, his whole body beginning to relax. I heaved a sigh of relief, knowing it had been a close call. I loosened my grip on his arms and rested my hands on his shoulders instead, my fingers touching his neck beneath his hair. I wanted to slide my arms around him and hug him the way I had the other night when he was upset over Bella, but I restrained myself determinedly. I doubted he would appreciate it at this moment. I pulled my hands back and stepped away.

"Is there no way of stopping it?" Jacob asked.

"No."

He sighed heavily. "Why us?"

"Let's go back to the truck," I said. "I'll tell you everything I know."

'Except that I Imprinted on you,' I added to myself.

"Obviously I read some stuff, I just thought it was fairy stories," he said, following me.

"There's one book you ought to read," I told him. "Porter Clearwater's journal. It's about as real as you can get. The others I read basically say the same thing, but there are differences. Some of it only confused me more."

I pulled the truck door open and got in. Jacob walked around the other side and joined me. We probably sat there two or three hours before we were done talking. Jacob wasn't much happier about the prospect of being a shape-shifter and vowed to try and resist it as long as he could. I took him home around one in the morning and then drove away reluctantly, hoping he would be alright.

On Tuesday Jacob turned up to work in the afternoon as usual and during the couple of hours we spent changing tyres on a truck and then working on the Corvette, he never mentioned our conversation of the previous night. He didn't look any happier and I didn't feel much better either so mostly we worked in silence. I was still having pangs over Leah and in addition I had the embarrassment of noticing Jacob's muscles flexing as he worked, the way he flicked his hair out of the way when it escaped from his ponytail and fell forward over his shoulder, the way he sank his teeth into his bottom lip when he was concentrating. I suppose I was lucky he didn't seem aware of me eyeing him from a distance and I did my best to focus on what I was doing and not on him. God help me when he phased - he'd see right through me in a second.

It was Friday when Bella came to speak to me. I had just stopped to a take a lunch break and she walked into the shop.

"Hello, Sam."

"Shouldn't you be at school?" I asked, skipping a greeting.

"I wanted to ask you something."

"About what?" It had to be about Jacob; why else would she want to see me when he wasn't around?

"Is something wrong with Jacob?"

"Wrong?" I narrowed my eyes. "You mean other than the kick in the teeth you gave him?"

"It wasn't like that," she protested.

"Wasn't it? You mean you didn't let him fall in love with you and then throw it back in his face?"

"He's my friend, he knows that."

"Yeah? I'd hate to be your enemy," I grunted. I only had to think about Jacob crying in my arms and I was tempted to spring at her. Now I just wanted her to leave.

"He told me he can't see me any more," she said then.

"And you think that means there's something wrong with him? Sounds to me like he needs to lick his wounds and forget about you. Get out of here, Bella, and leave him alone like he asked."

She sighed heavily and opened her mouth to say something else, then thought better of it and left. I stared after her thoughtfully. So he said he didn't want to see her? Interesting. Maybe he wanted to try and move on. I asked him about it later that day.

"Bella was here earlier."

"What did she want?"

"She wondered if I knew what was wrong with you to make you stop seeing her. Other than the fact that she hurt you."

"I'm scared I could injure her. If I phase when she's around," he said. "That's all. I still love her."

I bit my lip. He was still longing for her and it didn't look like he was going to get over it any time soon. I could still feel his pain and Leah's too and there was nothing I could do to help either of them or myself. I felt depression creeping up and threatening to pull me down again and I fought against it determinedly. I was strong; I'd get through it. Hopefully Jacob would too and maybe one day he might look at me the way I wanted him to. I would just have to wait.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I spent most of Saturday with the pack. I didn't work for once and when we passed the shop in the truck it was locked up so it was clear Jacob hadn't gone in either. I told the others he would soon be joining us, probably within a week or two at most. Embry and Jared were happy about it, but Paul not so much. He had never particularly liked Jacob and wasn't really looking forward to having him with us.

I didn't see Jacob until Monday. He just didn't seem to be around anywhere and much as I longed to call him or go over to Billy's, I stayed away. I told myself if he didn't come to work after school that day I would go and see him. So when he turned up at the shop ten minutes after I opened the doors, I was surprised.

"Jacob?" I stared. He had cut his hair. I'd thought I would be disappointed when he did it because I'd liked his long hair, but the new short style suited him.

"Hey."

"Looks cool," I said, pointing at my own hair.

"Thanks."

"No school today?"

"No. I left."

"_What_? You have exams in a couple of months!" I exclaimed.

He just shrugged. "What do I need exams for? I'm going to work here, right? Unless you don't want me..."

"Of course I want you," I said, wondering if it sounded like a double meaning to him the way it did to me. "I mean, we got enough work for you to be here full time and I can start paying you a decent wage now. Your Dad's not going to be happy about it though."

Jacob shrugged again. "He can't force me to go to school. Besides, I could phase at any time, couldn't I? That'd go down well if it happened in class." He grinned suddenly. "It could, I suppose. My math teacher winds me up all the time, he's got it in for me."

I was amazed. He was joking about it now?

"Ok. Well, we better get started then. The blue truck outside needs a new handbrake cable and a silencer, you can start on that," I said.

As predicted, Billy wasn't impressed that Jacob quit school. He called me that evening and asked if I couldn't talk him into going back. However, he could see Jacob's point about possibly injuring other students and since Jacob was obviously happy working with me and would at least have a good job right on his doorstep, he backed down.

By the weekend, Jacob was finding it increasingly difficult to stay calm. He constantly complained he was hot and took to working in just shorts and boots, which was an awkward distraction for me. He had the perfect six-pack which even I hadn't quite achieved and the rest of him was all firm skin stretched over rippling muscles. In addition he was often slick with sweat and I found that much to my embarrassment, what had been a mild attraction was rapidly turning to desire. I was somewhat surprised that it didn't bother me to feel like that, I was only concerned that Jacob would notice the way I was looking at him.

The following week it rained heavily for four days and every chance he got, Jacob would go and walk about outside. The water ran off him while steam rose from his skin and still he continued to fight what was happening to him. Then on Saturday when we finished the morning's work and locked up, he punched me in the guts.

"I'm going to see Bella."

"What? Why? I thought you wanted to keep away from her?"

"Yeah, well I can't do it any more."

"You'll get hurt again," I warned, feeling shaken. I'd really thought he was beginning to move on from her, but all he'd been doing was suffering in silence until he couldn't stand it any longer.

"Maybe." He shrugged now.

"You could hurt her. Isn't that why you've stayed away?"

"I can control it."

"You won't always be able to do that," I told him.

"Well, I can try." He grabbed the t-shirt he hadn't bothered to put on yet that day, pulled it over his head and then wheeled his motorcycle out of the shop. Moments later he was tearing away in the direction of Forks.

"Damnit!" I exclaimed, slamming the door closed. I just knew he was going to get another kick in the teeth and once again I'd be picking up the pieces. I got in the truck and drove home where I stayed for the rest of the day, waiting to see what happened.

My phone rang just before six o'clock and I jumped so violently I almost fell off my bed. I snatched up the receiver.

"Yeah?"

"Sam!" Embry's voice came down the phone, sounding on the verge of hysteria. "I'm at Jacob's. You have to come _now_!"

"What's going on, Embry?" I demanded, panic filling me. Had something happened to Jacob? My heart clenched and missed a couple of beats before it carried on thumping raggedly.

"He phased, Sam. He's run off."

"Shit. I'm on my way." I slammed the phone down, grabbed my keys and rushed from my room. "Going to Billy's!" I shouted at my Mom as I crashed out of the house.

I arrived in under ten minutes and burst in through Billy's door. He and Embry were waiting in the kitchen, their faces pale and worried and Embry's arm wrapped in a towel which appeared to be blood-stained.

"What the hell happened? Are you alright?"

"It's nothing. Just a scratch," Embry said and launched into an explanation. "I came over to see Jake, but Mr Black said he was out and that I could wait. When he came back he was... I don't know... weird. Kind of in shock, but at the same time so angry. He went in his room, slammed the door in my face. It sounded like he was breaking things. I went in to see if I could do anything and he phased right in front of me."

"Did he hurt you?" I asked.

"Like I said, it's just a scratch."

I felt cold and shocked, but inside my anger began to build up. Bella Swan - she was lucky she was fifteen miles away from me at that moment, because I wouldn't have been able to help myself. I turned away from Billy and Embry now and went to Jacob's room. It looked as if a tornado had been through it; the furniture demolished, quilt torn and feathers covering everything and the window was smashed where he had broken out of it.

"Fuck," I said under my breath.

"Go after him, Sam," Billy said quietly from behind me.

"I'll come too," Embry said at once.

"No." I turned around. "I'll find him." I began to head for the front door, pulling my shirt off and Embry caught me up as I stepped outside.

"Will he be ok?" he asked.

"I hope so." I removed my shoes and began to unbutton my jeans. "How badly are you hurt, really?"

Embry unfolded the towel to reveal three deep claw marks running from elbow to wrist, all oozing dark blood. "I didn't want Billy to see it," he said. "He's upset enough."

"Go over to Jared's," I told him now. "Don't be on your own. There's something I found out a while back which should help if it works for you too. Phase and it'll heal fast."

"Ok." Embry wrapped the towel around his arm again and I passed him my jeans, then walked away from him. I phased before I reached the end of the drive and then turned left, passing the front of the house until I picked up Jacob's scent. He was heading towards the woods. I broke into a run and followed.

It didn't take me long to find him. He was perhaps ten miles away and I felt his rage the minute I reached the trees. It only grew more intense as I got closer and I slowed down when I was within half a mile of him, approaching more cautiously. He was in a clearing that I remembered passing through myself, pacing backwards and forwards, snarling at nothing every so often.

_"Stay away." _He didn't look in my direction, but he knew I was there.

I halted amongst the trees and watched him. It was dusk, but with the moon rising it was still quite light. He was russet in colour with a pale, almost silver throat and belly. His muscles rippled under the thick fur as he prowled up and down and I did the best I could to squash my thoughts and concentrate only on his suffering. He was a stunning wolf and it was completely inappropriate for me to be noticing at that moment.

I sat down where I was and just waited. The moon rose higher and stars appeared and still Jacob paced. I couldn't even hear what he was thinking; his emotions were too high and he was blocking it. I could feel his anger and pain and it battered my senses, draining my energy. I lay down, breathing deep, until finally he stopped roaming about and stared at the ground. He didn't look at me, but his thoughts gradually started to become coherent.

_"She's gone. I went to see her and she seemed glad to see me. I thought maybe...I can't just be her friend, it's not enough."_

_"Oh, God," _I thought. _"What has she done to you now?"_

He didn't answer me, but I saw what happened as he went over it in his own mind. He spent perhaps an hour with Bella and went home feeling like things would be ok. She had missed him, she asked him not to be silly and avoid her any more.

He found Embry waiting for him at his house and they chatted for a while before the phone rang. Bella, calling to tell him Edward's sister Alice had contacted her. Edward thought she was dead after she jumped off the cliff; he didn't know Jacob had saved her.

I was startled at this. What on earth had been going on? He'd never mentioned that. He must have had some courage to jump off the cliff after he almost drowned that day. I forgot about it immediately as his thoughts continued to replay in my own mind almost like a film reel.

Bella said Edward was in Italy and intended to kill himself because he couldn't go on living, thinking he had caused her death. She and Alice were on their way to the airport, going after him to stop him. She didn't know when or if she would come back. Jacob hung up the phone, then smashed it into the wall, momentarily crushed again until his temper overtook misery. He charged into his room, slamming the door in Embry's face as he followed. He smashed his fist into the mirror, shattering the glass, swept items off the shelf above the bed. Embry opened the door. Jacob swung around, horrified.

"Get out!"

Embry froze, watching as Jacob phased, splitting his clothes apart, the huge russet wolf almost filling the small bedroom, then snarling, turning around and around, clawing at the furniture, the bed, one swipe ripping open Embry's arm. Embry let out a yell and clutched the wound, blood oozing through his fingers. Pain lancing through Jacob as he realised he had hurt his friend. He turned away, bounded up onto the bed and launched himself at the window, wooden frame and glass exploding outwards as he hit it with full force. Then fleeing to the woods, growling, hoping no one would follow.

I realised I was panting, my breath coming in shallow gasps as I relived it with him.

"_Embry_..." He turned to look at me at last, letting out a sorrowful whine.

"_It's alright, he's alright. Just a scratch." _I blocked the image of what Embry's arm looked like.

_"I could have killed him. I could have killed my Dad. I don't want to be like this. Sam..." _Another whine and his head dropped low, his muzzle almost touching the ground.

I got up slowly and took a few steps towards him, stopping when I was just close enough to touch him if I were to stretch my neck out.

_"You can't blame yourself for this; all you can do is face it and accept it. I know it's tough, but you're not alone."_

_"I hurt Embry! What if it happens again? What if I can't control myself?"_

_"You will; you'll learn to. It's only been this hard because you were so upset to being with."_

Jacob raised his head slowly and looked at me. The pain I saw in his eyes made me flinch.

_"What do I do now?"_

_"We go back and talk to your Dad. He's worried about you."_

_"I can't face him. What must he think of me?" _Jacob's eyes squeezed shut and he lowered his head again.

_"He understands. He loves you. I'm not going to just leave you on the doorstep, Jacob, I'll be there too." _

He didn't reply for several moments, going over what I said in his head, shivering as he repeatedly pictured Embry hurt and his Dad worrying.

_"Ok." _He snorted his breath out through his nose and then shook himself vigorously.

I turned and began to lead the way slowly back down the path, hoping he would follow. After a brief hesitation, he began to walk with me. Although we stuck to a walk all the way back to La Push, with the length of our strides compared to that of a human, it took less than two hours and gave me ample time to talk to Jacob about my own phasing, about Embry's and Jared's and Paul's, the latter one having been the most violent except for Jacob's own.

By the time we reached Billy's house he had calmed down somewhat, but was as worried as ever about facing his Dad and Embry. Now he lurked beside my truck which was still on the driveway while I phased back and let myself into the house.

"Billy, it's Sam!" I called out.

Embry appeared immediately.

"Oh, shit," he said. "Hold on." He vanished back into the living room and then reappeared with my jeans, tossing them to me. I pulled them on.

"Where's Jacob?"

"Outside," I told him. "He'll be ok. Tell Billy we'll be in soon." I ducked into Jacob's room, which was somewhat tidier than it had been when I left, although there wasn't much that could be done with the broken window and furniture until the morning. I grabbed a pair of cargo pants from the wardrobe which had somehow survived and then headed back out of the door.

"Jacob?"

I saw his ears sticking up above the hood of the truck and I went around the other side.

"You're not going to be able to communicate with me until you phase back. Listen, Embry and your Dad are fine. You're going to have to relax; let go of the anger enough so you can change back. Imagine yourself human again. It might take a few tries, so don't get worked up about it if it doesn't happen straight away. Here's some pants." I put them on the hood of the truck and walked away from him, although I stayed on the porch listening.

It was about twenty minutes before he phased back. It almost seemed as if it wasn't going to happen and then suddenly he was human, grabbing the cargo pants and pulling them on, then leaning against the truck, breathing hard and shivering. I stepped off the porch and went to him.

"You ok?"

"Yeah," he said shakily. He had tears in his eyes, but he blinked them away and walked ahead of me to the house.

Billy and Embry were in the living room watching a chat show and when we went in Billy merely adjusted the volume, rather than turn the television off and make it look like the beginning of a conference.

"Are you alright, son?" he asked.

Jacob sank onto the sofa next to Embry.

"I guess. I'm sorry," he said. "I could have hurt you. God, Embry, I did hurt you." He groaned and turned to look at his friend. "How bad is it?"

"It's nothing, it's just a scratch, see?" Embry rolled his shirt sleeve up and revealed the three narrow red lines. It looked as if the skin had never been broken. Jacob looked puzzled, but he heaved a sigh of relief.

I stayed another hour chatting with them, noticing Jacob gradually beginning to relax although he still looked as miserable as sin. Eventually I got up to go home.

"Can I get a ride with you?" Embry asked.

"Sure. Jacob, I'll see you Monday," I said. "If you don't feel like working, just call me."

"Ok. Thanks, Sam."

As soon as we were in the truck, Embry glanced over at me.

"How is he, really?"

"Not good. It was harder on him than on any of us. Damn Bella."

"Isn't there anything we can do about her?" Embry asked.

I shook my head. "He's got to work through it. It's just going to take time. A lot of time if she keeps on screwing with his head."


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I didn't really expect to see Jacob on Sunday. It had been an exhausting night so I stayed in bed until ten and then dragged myself into the shower. I ran it cold for ten minutes until I was wide awake, pulled on some pants and went to make coffee. My Mom was still in her room and I guessed she had been laying in too. I drank the coffee and ate a piece of toast, then the doorbell rang.

"Sam, will you get that, honey, I'm just going in the bathroom!" Mom called and closed the door after her.

"Sure!"

I went to open the door and found Jacob and Embry the other side of it.

"Hey." I looked directly at Jacob. "How are you?"

"I'm ok. Sam, do you mind if I borrow the truck?" He had passed his driving test with ease after only three weeks of lessons with me.

"Of course you can borrow it. Come in a minute." I stepped back from the door and they followed me inside. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"Umm...furniture store," Jacob said, reddening slightly. "And to get a window."

"You two want some help?" I offered at once.

"It's my mess, Sam," said Jacob.

"Yeah, but we're a team now, right? All of us." I grabbed a shirt from the pile of ironing Mom had finished the previous evening and pulled it on.

"Ok. Thanks," Jacob nodded. It was almost as if Embry wasn't even there. I shoved my feet into my boots and went to the bathroom door. "Mom!" I called. "I'm going out."

"Alright, Sam, see you later," she mumbled in return and I guessed she was brushing her teeth. I grabbed the truck keys from the kitchen table and tossed them to Jacob, then the three of us set off.

By the end of the day we had replaced Jacob's window, put up a couple of shelves and built a new flat-packed bed he bought. Then we piled the broken furniture and window frame into the back of the truck and took it to the dump. Jacob was in a much better mood by then and seemed neither miserable nor angry any more. I had expected him to still be moping about over Bella at the very least, but he never mentioned her and appeared more positive than he had in a long time. I wondered if his phasing had caused the change. Although he'd subsequently been filled with guilt for hurting Embry, he had apparently straightened things out in his mind sufficiently to not be wrapped up in it all the way he usually was.

For the next couple of weeks things were very different to what they had been. The mood at work was much lighter and we laughed and fooled about sometimes, which never ceased to amaze me. However, I wasn't completely happy. Every time I looked at Jacob I imagined myself holding him, kissing him, lying on that new bed with him and as time went on it only got worse. I was convinced he would eventually guess what I was feeling and it made me uncomfortable because there was no way I was going to do anything about it.

When I first Imprinted on him, I hadn't even been able to bring myself to think about what might happen in the future so I hadn't considered what I would do about it when my feelings did change. Now they had and all I could think was that if I touched him, he would be horrified and it would ruin our friendship. I was supposed to devote myself to him for the rest of my life, but I had no idea how to do it other than be there for him when he needed someone.

In addition, I was still feeling Leah's pain. I had hoped she would be able to move on and forget about me, but I kept hearing that she had become bad-tempered and bitter, fighting with everyone who stepped into her path. I tried talking to her one Sunday when I ran into her at the store. She told me to drop dead, but she had longing in her eyes and I felt even worse about it afterwards. I wished she could find someone else.

Bella and Edward returned from Italy shortly after and I knew Jacob went to see her as soon as he heard. He was irritable before he went and foul-tempered afterwards, but he didn't tell me about it and he buried his thoughts when the pack phased so none of us found out what happened until later.

Right after this, Quil turned up at my house out of the blue. I hadn't seen much of him for a while and I knew that after both Embry and Jacob phased, Quil felt like he was being left out of something and fell out with them again. Now he turned up on my doorstep and reported that his grandfather had sent him to see me. I took one look at him and it was obvious he was to be next. He had been a skinny, lanky boy, but suddenly he was bursting with muscles and had shot up about four inches in height. I called Billy before I said anything and then went ahead and talked to Quil.

When he found out the reason for his isolation and sudden muscle growth he was surprisingly delighted and confessed that he couldn't wait to join the pack. The prospect of being a shape-shifter thrilled him and he told me his grandfather had just as many books as Billy, all of which he'd read from cover to cover, hoping that the stories were true and one day he could meet or even become one of the creatures he read about.

Quil phased ten days later, into a dark brown wolf with black eyes and a wide laughing mouth that somehow managed to look cheerful even when he was growling at something. He turned out to be a great addition to the pack and the others were all happy to have him, particularly Embry and Jacob who had temporarily left him behind.

It was not long after this that the reason for the pack's creation came to light. We had all heard things about what was going on in the world of the bloodsuckers; two of the Cullen clan killing one of a group of three who were after the human lurking in their midst - Bella. It was only a matter of time before we were pulled into it and my phone rang one Saturday night, just after I got into bed. I leaned over and grabbed it as I glanced at the clock. It was midnight.

"Yeah?"

"Sam Uley?"

"Yeah." I didn't recognise the voice and I frowned as I waited for the caller to speak again.

"This is Edward Cullen."

"Late, isn't it?" I commented.

"I never sleep." There was a smile in his voice.

I shook myself. "Why are you calling?"

"I need your help. You know what's been happening?"

"I've a pretty good idea."

He told me that two of his group, Emmett and Jasper, had been responsible for killing James, Victoria's mate. Now she was in Seattle mustering a small army in order to avenge James' death and get to Bella. The pack would join forces with the Cullens to ensure that Victoria didn't succeed in her mission and then continue to turn half of Forks into her disciples. This was what we had been waiting for.

"When?" I asked.

"Within days, I expect."

"We'll be ready."

There was a click as Edward hung up the phone. I debated about calling Jared straight away to make plans, but the Camerons' telephone was in the hallway and I knew his parents would go mad if I called at half past midnight.

I dialled six digits of Billy's number and then hung up. He wouldn't be too impressed either. Still, Billy slept like the dead and he usually retired early so he probably wouldn't hear it. I dialled again; I couldn't help myself, I just wanted to hear Jacob's voice. It rang three or four times before he picked up.

"Hello?" he said quietly.

"Hey, it's Sam."

I heard him yawn.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" I said, mentally kicking myself.

"No, I was up. Hold on, I'll take the phone in my room."

I heard a door close a moment later and then he spoke again. I imagined him lying on his bed the way I was now and immediately imagined myself next to him.

"Is something going on?" he asked.

"Edward Cullen just called me," I said. I went on to tell him what was coming, the whole point of what we were and it was an hour before we finally finishing talking. I asked him to call the rest of the pack in the morning and get them all round to Billy's where I would pick them up at noon in the truck. Then we would spend the rest of the day making sure we were prepared.

I fell asleep soon after, but slept fitfully and woke sweating and shivering after a horrible dream where Jacob was killed by a horde of vampires while I sat watching helplessly. As he died, I realised I hadn't even told him I loved him.

"Hell, Sam, get a hold of yourself," I muttered angrily, throwing myself out of bed. I didn't believe in omens.

It happened four days later. Edward called me at dawn and I rounded the pack up as soon as it was late enough to call each of them without getting an earful from any angry parents. Embry, Quil and Jared skipped school. Paul was already working to help his mother out since his father had been killed and he called in sick. I drove over to Billy's, everyone climbed into the truck and we drove out to the Cullens' house in the woods and waited.

They came in the late afternoon. It was a damp cloudy day, the sky grey and heavy with rain. We lurked in the woods while the Cullens walked to the edge of the meadow as Victoria's army appeared at the other side. As they flew at each other, the six of us phased almost at the same time and rocketed out of the trees.

Edward had told me what they were like, what to expect, but still I got a shock when I leaped at the young male vampire nearest to me, driving my claws into his chest and my teeth into his shoulder, only to find that his flesh was solid, hard, almost like trying to bite stone. My teeth jarred and pain flashed through my jaws as the pair of us tumbled in a heap in the grass. A fist hit me in the nose and I backed off, shaking my head. It was like being hit with a brick. They were going to be very hard to kill.

In my second attempt I got lucky; I got him in the throat, apparently the most vulnerable point. My teeth sank in and a great gout of black blood exploded out, some of it jetting into my throat and making me gag. The head rolled back gruesomely on the shoulders, partially severed; he was dead.

"Inexperienced." The voice was Carlisle Cullen's, the clan's leader. "They won't all be that easy." He vanished before I could reply.

I gathered myself and sprang at the next to appear in my line of sight. The battle went on as dusk fell. I managed to finish two of them and through my telepathy with the rest of the pack, I knew that the others were all still uninjured and had each killed one, Embry and Quil working as a team. I paused to get my breath and look around me, suddenly noticing Edward close by surrounded by three of them. He was incredibly powerful, but no match for three. I bounded towards him and landed on the back of the vampire to his right, leaving him to deal with the other two. I had a good reason for wanting Edward alive; if he didn't make it there was a fair chance Bella would eventually fall into Jacob's arms.

I tussled with the bloodsucker, surprised by this one's strength. It was Riley, Victoria's new mate. I went straight for his throat, but an arm came up and blocked my jaws. I raised a paw and swiped my claws at the white face instead. The creature somersaulted backwards and landed on its feet some twenty yards away.

For a brief second I glanced over my shoulder, looking for the rest of the pack; for Jacob. I could hear them, angry and determined and I immediately saw Jacob pinning one of the vampires to the ground with his front paws, snapping at its face. I spun away as steel fingers fastened around my neck, cursing myself for becoming distracted. Now I had two of them on me and the one gripping my throat was Victoria. It was the first time I had seen her.

"You think you can hurt Riley? You're going to have to get through me first!" she hissed.

I lashed out again and again, my claws catching Riley before he moved out of reach while I snapped at Victoria's face, but I couldn't get close enough and I couldn't shake her off. The young male dived on me once more and was quickly joined by yet another. The strength of the three of them forced me to the ground and I fought with everything I had, but Victoria was choking me. Losing my concentration for just that brief second could have cost me my life. I carried on fighting them the best I could, but I couldn't breathe and I knew I was weakening.

Just when I had begun to think the damned leeches were going to get the better of me, one of them was torn away and tossed through the air into a tree. Snapping jaws appeared right above me and two sets of claws drove into Victoria's chest. Her hands released my throat immediately and she vanished in the blink of an eye. Riley shrank back as Jacob turned on him and I rolled over and sprang to my feet, shaking myself and cursing. I was supposed to be Alpha and Jacob was having to save my skin. When he looked my way again a moment later I met his eyes and nodded, but I was furious with myself and I quickly launched myself back into the fray.

Only minutes later Embry was in trouble as he blindly attacked a vampire who had knocked Quil to the ground. He hadn't looked behind him and two of them pounced. I waded in quickly and killed one of them as I dragged him off Embry by the neck. Quil sprang up again then, back in control.

_"Watch your back,"_ I aimed at Embry and turned away to find another of them flying at Jacob. His back was turned as he finished off the vampire he was fighting and when he turned he found the female right in front of him. She was young, probably not more than fourteen or fifteen years old when she turned. Jacob hesitated, thinking the same thing I was.

_"She's just a child."_

I had to remind myself she wasn't a young girl, but a vicious killer and I sprang on her while Jacob still wavered, although I felt a pang of guilt as I ripped her throat out.

In another hour it was over. Victoria got away, but none of the others survived, unless any of them had fled before the battle began. The meadow was littered with bodies, but other than being battered and bruised all of us had made it. I led the others into the trees where we phased back and pulled on the clothes we had left there. Then we walked out to face the Cullens. Most of them had already taken off, leaving only Carlisle and Edward behind. I stepped away from the pack and walked towards them.

"Your help is appreciated," Carlisle said, offering his hand for me to shake. I put mine into it, grimacing slightly as we shook. I would never have admitted it, but if he squeezed any harder, he would have broken my fingers. Edward just nodded at me and I returned the gesture before I turned back to the others.

I glanced around at all of them and when my eyes landed on Jacob I could see he was rigid with temper, fists clenched and eyes black. He glanced at me briefly and then suddenly charged past me.

"Edward!"

"Shit," I muttered and spun around.

Edward halted, but Carlisle continued a few steps before he stopped too and turned.

"What do you want, Jacob? We finished what we came here to do," Edward said calmly.

"I haven't finished with you!" Jacob snapped.

"I think you have. For now."

"Jacob!" I reached his side now. The last thing I wanted was a battle with the Cullens. We were supposed to be their allies. "Come away."

"Stay out of it, Sam," Jacob said through his teeth.

I turned to face him, my back to Edward. "Don't bring your personal business into this," I said. "It's not the time."

"Better listen to your Alpha, Jacob," Edward said a little snidely. "You really don't want to pick a fight with me."

Jacob's eyes blazed and he put his hands up to push me out of his way. I would have done anything to avoid fighting with him, but I knew I had to rein his temper in somehow before he phased again and caused us all more problems.

"Back down!" I growled, thrusting my hand into his chest. He stopped dead. "This is over."

He continued to seethe for another moment and then let all his breath out in a rush. He glanced briefly over my shoulder and then dropped his eyes and stared at a point somewhere below my chin.

"I'm sorry," he said. That was all. I looked behind me and found that the two Cullens were gone.

"Let's go." I gripped Jacob's shoulder and turned him around, propelling him back towards the others. After a few steps my hand slid off his shoulder and I slung my arm around his neck. When the tension went out of him a minute later I let go and the six of us made our way back to the truck.

No one spoke on the drive back to La Push and I dropped each of them off before I made my way to my own home, sudden exhaustion almost making me fall asleep at the wheel. I didn't even make it to bed. I walked in, sat down on the sofa to speak to my Mom for a few minutes and that was all I remembered until I opened my eyes eight hours later.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

After the battle, everything seemed curiously flat. Even work was quiet, with less customers than usual for a few days.

Jacob and I spent the time working on the Corvette which was now almost finished. All that was required was fitting the new interior, accessories such as lights and windscreen wipers and so on and then having the body sprayed. We didn't have a spray shop and I towed it to a booth in Forks to have this done. I fetched it back four days later, gleaming scarlet, enhanced by its chrome fenders and bright new alloy wheels. My pride and joy, finally complete.

We went for a spin in it that Saturday after we closed the shop, driving almost all the way down to Clearwater and back. The car ran like a dream, its five and a half litre engine growling and it was with reluctance that I stopped on the return journey and let Jacob drive after he begged several times to take a turn.

That day it seemed like we didn't have a care in the world and for once I was really happy, even though I kept thinking what it would be like if I could park up somewhere and kiss Jacob and tell him how I felt about him.

However, it was fairly obvious to me that he was still miserable. He covered it up pretty well unless you looked into his eyes and I knew he was constantly thinking about Bella. Over the next couple of days everything came to a head and for a few horrifying hours I thought I may have lost him forever.

I spent the day with the pack on Sunday with the exception of Jacob. He wasn't there when we all met at his house and Billy hold me he had gone out early without saying where he was going. I immediately wondered if he had gone to see Bella and I did my best to hide my irritation all day, although I knew Embry picked up on it.

I dropped everyone off later and debated about going to see if Jacob was home, but talked myself out of it. Then I couldn't help myself and called him around eight o'clock only to be told by a worried Billy that he hadn't returned.

I just knew something was wrong. It wasn't like the telepathy we had when we phased, but I had a feeling of dread that something had happened. I drove over to Billy's and rang the bell as I opened the door.

"It's Sam," I called out.

"Come on in." His wheelchair rolled out of the living room into the hallway. "I'm worried about him, Sam. He's been so down."

"Yeah, I know." I reached out to push the door closed and then stopped when I saw Bella's truck tearing up the road towards the house. It screeched to a halt on the street at the end of the drive and she jumped out and ran across the lawn. I was instantly terrified and furious at the same time.

"What happened?" I demanded.

"It's Jacob," she gasped.

"Obviously." I stepped out of the house and tried to suppress the heat rising in me.

"I'm scared he might go and do something stupid," Bella went on, taking a step away from me. She looked at Billy instead.

"Tell me," Billy prompted.

I listened and glowered as she explained that Jacob had turned up at her house in the afternoon. They talked and spent a few hours together before he began trying to convince her she should be with him and attempted to kiss her. She protested again that she only wanted him as a friend and told him Edward had asked her to marry him.

"He said he might as well kill himself," she finished.

"Oh, good God," Billy groaned.

"You just let him go?" I barked at her.

"No, I kept talking to him, I think I talked him out of it, but..."

"You _think_?" I spat. "Where is he?"

"I don't know, he turned into a wolf and ran off. I couldn't stop him," Bella said in a small voice.

"If anything happens to him, it'll be your fault!" I snarled. "You little bitch, you've been stringing him along from the beginning! You should have made it fucking clear from the start you're not interested in him instead of letting him go on thinking he had a chance!"

"Sam!" Billy protested.

"I kept telling him I only saw him as a friend," Bella said.

"Well, you didn't do a very good job! He loves you! Apparently enough that if he can't have you he thinks it's not worth living!" I was losing it. My chest hurt and I was burning up, my legs shaking. I took a step away from the pair of them, breathing deep and trying to control it.

"I'm sorry!" cried Bella, tears sliding down her cheeks.

I felt like crying myself. I opened my mouth to yell at her again, but my voice was gone. I phased rapidly and simply growled, my teeth maybe a couple of feet from her face. I had to remind myself that we didn't kill humans. She backed up against the house wall.

"Sam, stop it!" Billy commanded, his face stiff and pain-filled. "Leave her alone. Find Jacob for me. However long it takes. Bring him back, whether or not he's..." He didn't finish the sentence, but I knew what the last word would have been. 'Alive'.

I hesitated for only a brief second, then I turned and bounded down the path and across the street, heading for the woods. I picked up his scent about twenty minutes later and increased my speed, flying through the trees. I didn't sense him anywhere close and I ran on through the night, hoping I would find him before too much time passed; before it was too late, if it wasn't already.

I tracked him for several hours heading roughly east, gradually reaching higher ground and following a path into the Rocky Mountains. It was almost dawn before I felt any connection to him and I immediately knew he was alive. I could feel his pain; so much more intense than the first time he phased that it hit me like a brick wall. I halted and dropped into a crouch, shuddering and whining for several moments before I was able to continue.

I found him about an hour later. It was daylight but cloudy and a misty rain had begun to fall. There was an overhang of rock protruding over the path I was following and beneath it, a shallow cave. He was in there, hiding in the shadows although I couldn't see him and I couldn't hear his thoughts. An aura of anguish surrounded him and I doubted he was even capable of communicating with me.

I entered the cave slowly, one step at a time, until my eyes got used to the gloom and I could see him. He was lying against the far wall, his nose on his paws, ears down and eyes closed. I stood there for a while just watching him, but he didn't move a muscle except for the slight rise and fall of his flanks as he breathed.

I didn't know what to do for the best so eventually I stepped closer and lowered myself onto the ground next to him. The only sign he made that he was aware of my presence was a slight twitch of one ear and nothing more.

We stayed that way all day and all the next night and Jacob didn't move or let me into his thoughts. I felt his intense misery and that was all. In the morning I got up and went outside, finding a small rivulet of water running down between the rocks to drink from. I went back to Jacob's side and another day and night passed.

By then I was hungry and I ventured further from the cave with the intention of hunting. I sprang onto a mountain goat from above and killed it, but then found myself hesitating. My human instincts were strong enough to make me think twice about eating a raw animal that hadn't been ready prepared by a butcher and cremated on the barbeque, but the smell of it began to make my nostrils twitch and in the end the wolf took over and I sank my teeth in, tearing out a large chunk of flesh. It tasted delicious and I feasted greedily until my front paws and half my face were dripping with gore and I felt faintly sick. I spent another half hour licking myself clean before I returned to the cave, carrying a leftover goat's haunch in the hopes I might be able to tempt Jacob to eat.

He wouldn't eat or even drink and didn't move from where he lay. I tried talking to him, but he either didn't hear my thoughts or was simply ignoring them. After four days he was growing weak from dehydration and still he wouldn't so much as open his eyes. It was killing me to see him like that, but it seemed I couldn't do anything to pull him back from it. I got to my feet and paced about, wondering if he even knew I was there. I stopped still and looked down at him.

_"Do you really want to die over_ _this_?" I thought miserably.

I continued to stare at him for several minutes, willing him to make some kind of effort. I was about to give up and turn away when suddenly he opened his eyes and looked up at me. Although his eyes met mine he didn't let his thoughts out, but after a few moments he lurched to his feet and padded slowly out of the cave. I followed cautiously and watched as he reached the nearby rivulet of water, took a mouthful and let it run back out of his mouth between his teeth. Then he suddenly thrust his muzzle into the ice cold water and drank deep. I heaved a sigh of relief. It wasn't much, but at least it was an admission that he wanted to carry on.

Jacob returned to the cave and stretched out again as before. I wondered if he would communicate with me and I went to lay down beside him, turning my head to the side and resting my chin on the back of his neck. He whined sorrowfully and almost immediately his mind opened to me.

"_I need you." _

"_I'm here. I'm always going to be here," _I responded at once.

It was a few moments before he answered.

"_I know."_

"_You know?"_

His ears rose slowly until they were standing upright. "_You Imprinted on me, didn't you?"_

I almost stopped breathing. He knew about it!

_"How long have you known?" _I asked, wondering if I'd let slip over the past few days when I thought he was too out of it to hear me.

"_Not long. I only realised after I phased. I'd been reading some stuff at home; that guy's journal you mentioned. It got me thinking about some things you did. It happened after I nearly drowned, didn't __it?"_

"_Yes," _I confirmed. I expected him to ask more about it, but I heard nothing else for a while. It was about a half hour before another question came to me.

"_Do you love me?"_

The question stunned me. It came out of the blue and for a moment I was tempted to lie or joke, but what would be the point? I might not get what I wanted out of this, but at least I'd know one way or another. Maybe. At least by discussing it telepathically while phased it wasn't causing me the embarrassment it would have done in human form.

"_Yes." _I waited with some trepidation for an answer, but none came. _"You don't seem freaked out by it," _I added.

"_I'm not. I just don't know if I can return it."_

"_I don't expect you to. But I'll still be here." _I removed my chin from his neck and turned my head to face forwards. Then a few moments later Jacob finally lifted his head off his paws.

"_I can't go back yet,_" he told me. _"I can't face feeling any more than this."_

I knew he meant the pain he was in, which would only be magnified in human form.

"_We can stay here,"_ I told him at once.

"_You'll stay?"_

"_Yeah." _I turned my head again so I could nuzzle his ear for a second. "_As long as it takes._"

We didn't talk any more that day, but the next day he started eating a little and wandering about, his legs stiff from lying still so long. We were sitting out on the path in the sun the following morning when both of us sensed the approach of Embry, still some distance away but heading straight for us. Jacob got up and disappeared into the cave immediately and stayed there. I rose too and began to make my way slowly down the path, meeting Embry about a mile away.

_"Sam! Is he alright? Did you find him?" _The grey wolf halted in front of me, eyes wide and worried.

_"Yeah. What are you doing up here?"_

_"Billy's tearing his hair out, he asked me to come and look for you. Is Jacob alright?"_

_"He will be. It'll take some time. Go back to Billy and tell him Jacob's going to be ok. Maybe you could let my Mom know too. I'm staying with him until he's ready to come back."_

_"How long, do you think?"_

_"I don't know, Embry, maybe a few weeks."_

_"But he's really alright?"_

_"He's not going to die, if that's what you mean."_

_"Can I see him? He's my best friend, maybe I can help somehow."_

_"No!" _I backed up a few steps and my ears flattened themselves against my head. _"Go back, Embry."_

_"Alright. Tell him I'm thinking of him. Everyone is." _He turned now and trotted away down the path.

I continued to watch until he disappeared from sight and then I made my way back to the cave. Jacob came out before I got there and sat down in the spot he had recently vacated.

_"Has he gone?"_

_"Yeah. Your Dad sent him to look for us; he's really worried."_

_"What did you tell him?"_

_"That you'll be ok and to leave us alone." _

I sat down beside him and we stayed that way for perhaps an hour. Then Jacob turned his head to look at me.

_"I want to show you something. If I don't think about it sooner or later, I'll never be able to go home."_

I swung my head around and met his eyes and immediately I was seeing the pictures in his head the way I had that other time Bella hurt him.

He had seen her a little while before the battle with the vampires; she was getting ready to go over to the Cullens' house where she would stay until it was all over one way or another, protected by Edward's sister Alice. Jacob told her again that he loved her and that he wasn't going to give up, but although Bella told him she loved him too, it was as a friend and that wasn't going to change, however long he waited.

Then the day that she had come to see Billy, Jacob spent most of the afternoon with her. All he could think about was that she was wasting her life on a cold bloodsucker who couldn't give her anything back. He tried to kiss her and when she shoved against him, pulling her head back and meeting his eyes, he attempted to Imprint on her. He thought that somehow determination would make it happen. Bella was furious. She knew all about the shape-shifters - Jacob hadn't been able to keep his mouth shut about it once he phased - and she'd realised what he tried to do.

She wrenched away from him and after this final rejection, she added to it by saying Edward had proposed to her and she was going to marry him. Not only that - she intended to let him turn her into a vampire too so that they could be together forever.

Devastated, Jacob told her if he couldn't have her in his life, there was no point to his life at all and that he might as well end it. She cried and begged him not to do anything silly, telling him she would be heartbroken. He listened, but didn't reply. Then a few minutes later he leaped down from her window, phased and fled, running blindly, not even noticing where he was going until he reached the mountains; then he lay down in the cave where I had found him and shut everything out as well as he could.

He lowered his head now, breaking our eye contact. I let my breath out suddenly, realising I'd been holding it. He had been through so much and it would be some time before it got any better, but I guessed by letting it out he had at least turned a corner. He got up and went into the cave now and when I joined him a short while later, he was already sleeping.

We stayed in the mountains for over a month. I didn't count the days but the moon waxed and waned through a whole cycle and then began again. We left the cave and travelled further north, quickly finding snow beneath our paws and icy winds ruffling our fur. We hunted together and spent the nights huddled in whatever form of shelter we came upon, sometimes going for days without really communicating much, but gradually Jacob's mood grew lighter.

One night - the last night - we didn't sleep, but raced each other and gambolled about in the snow like a pair of foolish puppies until we were exhausted, then in the absence of shelter dug out a huge burrow and sank into it nose to tail as dawn lightened the sky and brought with it fresh snow. We stayed where we were, half buried, until the flakes stopped falling and then scrambled out of the hole. Jacob walked away from me and climbed up onto a nearby hillock where he stood facing south-west for some time until I climbed up to join him.

_"What are you thinking?"_ I wondered. He was different. He'd been different since the day after he let me know what had happened to make him run off, but today it was more than that; there was a kind of eagerness in him.

Now he turned to look at me, his eyes bright and his tongue lolling out of his mouth as if nothing worried him any longer.

_"I'm ready to go back."_


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

We didn't race back to La Push, but travelled steadily over four days. We finally reached the far side of the woods from the reservation late one afternoon and by the time we had passed through the trees to the other side, darkness had fallen. Jacob's footsteps slowed until he was trailing behind me and he halted altogether when we came within sight of my house.

_"What's wrong?"_ I turned to look at him. He was nervous about going home; I could feel it.

_"I'm exhausted, I just don't want to face my Dad asking questions and fussing over me right now."_

_"Don't you want to get it over with?"_

_"No. In the morning. I'll stay here."_

_"Why don't you stay at my place?"_ I offered at once. There was no way I was going to go home on my own and leave him to sleep in the woods.

_"Won't your Mom mind?"_

_"Of course not. She's probably already gone to bed anyway."_

_"Alright."_

We scampered across the meadow to the house, but for once my bedroom window was closed.

_"Damnit. Wait here, I'll go around the front."_

I slunk around to the front door, made sure no one was about and phased back quickly. I grabbed the spare key from beneath the mat, let myself in and locked the door again. The house was in darkness and I tiptoed to my room. I left the light off and quickly pulled on some jeans, grabbed a spare pair and opened the window. Jacob was crouching right below me. I hung the jeans over the sill and sat down on the bed.

Within a couple of minutes, Jacob climbed through the window and sat down cross-legged on the bed.

"Is your Mom up?" he asked.

"No, she must be asleep, her light's off." I got up again, suddenly realising I was starving. "Do you want anything to eat?" I offered. "I could eat a horse. Or a goat."

Jacob snorted. "No, thanks, I'm ok."

I crept out of the room again and went to raid the refrigerator. I found half a steak pie in there and gobbled it down, then chewed some gum for a few minutes rather than go in the bathroom to clean my teeth and disturb my Mom. By the time I went back to my room, feeling somewhat awkward about discussing the sleeping arrangements, Jacob was already dead to the world, lying on his side facing the window.

I closed the door again and carefully lowered myself onto the other half of the bed. It was a double so there was plenty of room for both of us. I stretched out on my back, my heart hammering, suddenly sure I wouldn't be able to sleep a wink with Jacob lying next to me. I imagined myself turning towards him, wrapping my arms around him, kissing his neck. It was all I could think about and I broke out in a sweat.

I turned my head to look at him in the semi-darkness, noticing the muscles in his shoulders, the smooth tanned skin of his back, my jeans, a little too big for him, resting low on his hips. Jesus. I felt myself getting hard and realised it was the first time it had happened over him. I'd imagined him in my arms plenty of times recently, but it was the first time it had this effect on me.

I turned my head away and tried to think about something else, but it was impossible. I could hear him breathing, smell his skin, almost imagine what he might taste like if I were to kiss him. My dick was suddenly so hard it felt as if it were trying to tear its way out of my jeans, which made things even worse because the next thing I thought of was me snuggling up to his back, my arm around him, sliding my hand down to see if he was as excited as I was.

I had to force myself to lie still as I almost threw myself off the bed and out of the room.

'Hell, Sam, calm down,' I told myself. 'Go to sleep.'

I eventually did calm down, but it took a while. In the end it was only fatigue that put an end to my sudden ardour and I finally dozed off.

When I opened my eyes again some time in the early hours, for a moment I didn't remember what had happened. I was lying flat on my back, one arm stretched out at right angles to my body and the other dangling off the edge of the bed. I stared at the ceiling, wondering why I couldn't move my right arm; then everything came flooding back and I became aware of Jacob lying next to me, his head resting on my bicep. I could feel his warm breath on the side of my chest and I realised I was holding my own. I breathed out again slowly and my heartbeat sped up.

I lay still for a few moments thinking about changing position, but not wanting to wake Jacob. Finally I turned over onto my side as carefully as I could until I lay facing him, but I obviously did disturb him. He moved a little and groaned in his sleep, then suddenly he pulled his head back and his eyes snapped open to meet mine in the dim light.

"Sam?"

"Hey. You ok?"

"Yeah."

He lowered his eyes away from mine, but he stayed where he was. My heart was hammering now and I wouldn't have been surprised if he could hear it. It was one of those moments where time slows down until it barely seems to be moving forward at all and you don't know whether you're awake or dreaming. All I could think about was kissing him, whether I should just go for it, whether I would finish up with a punch in the mouth or not. I could just see the shape of his lips in the gloom, the lower one fuller than the upper, the two slightly parted as if they were giving me an invitation.

I couldn't stop myself. I lifted my head up off the pillow and brushed my lips against his before I could talk myself out of it. It was the slightest touch before I pulled back just an inch, waiting for him to shove me away from him and leap off the bed. He didn't move and I leaned closer again. His mouth was so warm, so soft; I stopped breathing again as my lips caressed his and after a few seconds I felt a tentative response. I lifted my hand to his face and prolonged the kiss, my tongue exploring and finding his in turn seeking mine. I felt as if I were drowning, pouring myself into him for one long moment before I forced myself to stop and pull back before my control slipped any further.

I loved him, so much, and I could have gone on kissing him all night, but I was too aware that after what he'd been through with Bella he may just be clinging to any source of comfort that was offered; he may wake up in the morning and accuse me of taking advantage. In addition I was rock hard again and I didn't want desperation to make me push my luck when I was actually pretty scared about taking the next step; plus I was under the same roof as my mother.

Now I traced his jawline with my thumb before I took my hand away, rolling onto my back again and throwing my arm above my head. Jacob shifted slightly and then lay still, his head resting against my shoulder. I closed my eyes and willed myself to go back to sleep, although I knew it would be impossible now. I lay still, counting my breaths, forcing them to slow down while my heart continued to thump rapidly and I watched the dawn gradually turning the sky grey outside the window as Jacob slept beside me.

Eventually I must have dozed off because a slight sound disturbed me. I heard a gasp before my bedroom door clicked quietly closed. I opened my eyes and looked around me. Jacob was still resting against me, one hand on my chest, my arm around him.

I heard the kettle whistling in the kitchen and froze. My Mom was up and she just looked in my room. 'Shit.'

I dislodged Jacob gently and sat up. He groaned softly and buried his face in the pillow, but he didn't wake.

"Shit, shit," I muttered, grabbing a shirt. I could feel my face burning already. I opened the door quietly, crept out and closed it after me before heading for the kitchen.

"Hello, Sam," Mom said. "I'm glad you're home." She sounded just like I would have expected her to sound after I came home from about six weeks away. Except she had just seen me lying on my bed half dressed with a _boy._

I turned my back to her while I took a mug out of the cupboard and dumped coffee into it.

"It's not what it looked like," I grunted. My face was flaming; I could see it reflected in the chrome of the kettle.

"Sam, it's your business," she said calmly. "Unless you want to talk to me about it."

"There's nothing to tell. Really." I turned around suddenly. "You're not going to mention it to Billy, are you?"

"Of course not. So is Jacob alright?"

"Yeah. I take it Embry came to see you?"

"No, he was going to. He went to Billy's first, but Billy called me. I've spent a lot of time with him while you've been gone. He's been lonely. You've never said anything before, but you must realise I know what you are. And Jacob and the others."

"I thought you must have had an idea," I said, relaxing slightly. I was still uncomfortable with the fact that she obviously thought something was going on with Jacob, but she didn't appear shocked or disappointed.

"I've known since that first time you went off after the bonfire. If your father had been here he would have talked to you, but Billy told me everything so that I wouldn't worry about your disappearances."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Women don't usually take any interest, especially when it's three generations since there were shape-shifters here," she said with a shrug.

"Right." I couldn't wait to get back to my room. All I could think about was the fact that she was standing there talking to me about shape-shifters while thinking that her son was gay. I wanted to go on denying it, but the fact remained that I loved Jacob and had now kissed him, so I would only be lying. I turned abruptly and made for the kitchen door.

"Aren't you going to make Jacob some coffee?" Mom asked.

I stopped and went back to the kettle, quickly grabbing another mug.

"You know I love you, Sam; it doesn't matter to me who you want to be with," Mom said. "I'll leave you to it."

She stepped around me and disappeared into her bedroom. I quickly made the second coffee and by the time I got back to my room, Jacob was awake and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Hey." I shoved the door shut and passed him a mug.

"Thanks." He sipped it and grimaced. "How much sugar did you put in this?"

"I forget."

"Tastes like none." He took another mouthful and shuddered.

"Here, have mine." I passed him my own mug which I knew had two sugars in, then I sat down next to him.

"Is your Mom up?" he asked.

"Yeah. She's been spending some time with your Dad, keeping him company I guess. He's been telling her about us. I thought it was weird she didn't ask me anything that first time I took off for two weeks."

"I should get home and talk to him." Jacob gulped half his coffee in one go and suddenly got up. "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Sure, help yourself. There'll be some shirts in there in the cupboard if you want to borrow one," I offered.

"Thanks."

He vanished and I sat there sipping the horrible coffee with no sugar, wondered if I imagined it or if he couldn't wait to get away from me. I sat there worrying about it until he returned from the bathroom with wet hair, wearing one of my shirts with the jeans and looking as uncomfortable as I had when I went to face my Mom.

"I better get going," he said. "Sorry, can I borrow some boots too? I'll let you have them back later."

"Sure, on the rack near the front door," I said. "Do you want a lift over there?"

"No, I'll walk. Thanks."

I had been right. He couldn't wait to get away. I fucked up by kissing him and now he couldn't even look at me. I went cold all over.

"Uh...my truck's at your place," I remembered.

"I'll bring it to the shop later," Jacob said. "Are we working today? I don't even know what day it is."

"Me neither, hold on." I opened the door. "Mom! What day is it?"

"Saturday!"

"I guess we don't have to work, half the morning's gone anyway," I said. "We can just get back to it on Monday."

"Ok." He hovered by the door and his eyes met mine at last, but then dropped away after a second. His teeth sank into his lip and he didn't seem to know what else to say. I was crushed and I had the horrible feeling that he was going to avoid me for the rest of the weekend.

"Thanks," he said suddenly. "For coming after me."

"Don't thank me," I said softly.

"Well, I'll see you soon." He left the room slowly and went to the door, shoving his feet into a pair of my boots. A minute later he was gone and I slammed the bedroom door and threw myself on the bed, groaning.

"Fuck it!" I spat. "What the hell have I done?" I rolled over and buried my hot face in the pillow, immediately catching the lingering scent of Jacob, which didn't help me to feel any better.

I hid in my room cursing myself for a couple of hours until I was forced to pull myself together by Embry turning up to see me. Mom just sent him through to my room and he knocked once and burst in. I sat up quickly.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Embry said.

"No."

"I saw Jake a while back heading for his house so I guessed you were home. Did you just get back?"

"No, last night," I said.

Embry closed the door quickly. "Did he stay here? Sam!"

"Don't you start," I growled. "It wasn't like that."

"No? Why are you in such a foul mood anyway?"

"I'm just tired."

"Bullshit, Sam. You look like hell," Embry said, parking himself on the edge of the bed. "I thought you could confide in me about stuff. I never said anything when you let slip you Imprinted on him, did I?"

"Well, I'm not telling you this. I just fucked up, that's all," I said.

"Fair enough." Embry grinned and shrugged. "So how is he? You've been gone weeks."

I told him what had happened since we left La Push and he filled me in on what everyone else had been doing. Billy had asked Steven to run the shop full time until I came back, which hadn't gone down well. The old man had begun to enjoy his retirement too much. Embry, having finished his exams, had helped out as much as he could with basic things like oil changes and new tyres, but everyone concerned would be glad to have me and Jacob back.

Embry left before lunch and I stayed in my room, staring at my phone and longing to call Jacob. However, I couldn't think of a thing to say to him so I simply lay there, alternately reliving that kiss and kicking myself for doing it. I didn't see anyone on Sunday other than Mom and she went out in the afternoon, saying she was going to visit Billy.

"Why don't you come too?" she suggested. "See Jacob?"

"I'm busy," I muttered. I was dying to see him, but I was so convinced he regretted what happened that I didn't want to face him.

"Ok, I'll see you later."

She went out and I continued to mope about. I almost talked myself into calling Jacob at one point and got as far as picking up the phone, but then I just hung up again. I knew I was being ridiculous - he probably had no idea what to say to me either. I even found myself wishing I had talked to Embry after all; he was on my side and he wouldn't have made fun of me, but I felt stupid and angry with myself. All I could do was wait until the morning and see how things went at work - if he turned up.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

On Monday morning I was up early. I hadn't been able to sleep much and my stomach was in knots as I watched the clock crawl around towards seven-forty-five, when I planned to set off and walk to the shop. The day was already warm, but it was raining too and humid. I put my boots on and grabbed my keys, just as I saw my truck pull up outside the door. The butterflies in my stomach threatened to flutter up and choke me as I went out before Jacob could come to the door. I climbed into the truck.

"Hey, Jacob." I glanced at him and he gave me a quick smile. He looked as nervous as I felt. He started the truck again and turned it back onto the road.

"There's something I want to tell you," he said suddenly. "I don't know if you... I was going to call yesterday, but...um..."

'Shit,' I thought. 'He's going to tell me to back off.'

"Yeah, go on," I said.

"It's about your Mom."

_"What?_" He couldn't have surprised me more if he'd suddenly thrown himself into my arms.

"You know she's been coming over to my place a lot while we were...away."

"Yeah. Almost every day by the sounds of it." I was completely baffled.

"I heard my Dad talking to her last night. They're...I think they're together. Seeing each other. Or something. They were talking about telling us."

I burst into almost hysterical laughter and Jacob looked at me in astonishment.

"I'm sorry," I choked. "I just thought you were going to say something else."

"Like keep your distance?" he said with a grin, turning his attention back to the road.

"Something like that."

"No, I wasn't going to say that."

I immediately felt intense relief and my worries evaporated. "So, your Dad and my Mom..." I mused. "Really?"

"Sounds like it. Aren't you bothered?"

"No. It seems like your Dad's been lonely a long time and my Mom even longer. I guess it's kind of cool."

Jacob smiled. "I thought so too. I always feel guilty for not being around with my Dad stuck in the house all the time and your Mom's great."

He parked the truck now outside the shop and I went to unlock. I had barely got the door open when Steven arrived in his battered old Rabbit.

"Well, the wanderers return." He tutted and shook his head. "Beats me why Mr Black keeps the pair of you on, disappearing for weeks on end with no warning. Reliability is the key. I suppose you young bucks don't care about that."

I glanced at Jacob and he turned away and smothered a laugh.

"Sorry to have dropped you in it, Steven," I said.

"Well, you can tell Mr Black I won't be doing this again. I'm seventy years old, the only work I intend to do from now on is tend to my vegetable garden."

Jacob disappeared into the office, snorting, his shoulders shaking. I struggled to keep a straight face and grovelled suitably as Steven reeled of a list of all the things he'd been doing which should have been my responsibility and then followed it up by reciting the items he had booked in the diary for the week. For seventy years old, he had a hell of a memory. He took off ten minutes later, just as the first booking arrived for a service.

Things were so busy that day that we didn't have time to talk about anything not work related. Jacob had to drive over to Forks to pick up some parts and then ran out to the store to fetch lunch in the middle of the day. We carried on working through, grabbing a mouthful of food every so often. I was longing to just relax even for ten minutes and talk to him, but at least I was no longer panicking that he regretted us kissing.

As five o'clock approached I considered asking him to hang out with me a while longer, maybe go off somewhere in the Corvette and grab a burger, but by the time I'd thought about it for a few minutes I decided it sounded too much like a date and kept my mouth shut. I didn't really know where to go from where we were, but my thoughts were interrupted moments later by Embry arriving at the shop with the van from the store he now worked at full time in the absence of anything more stimulating.

"Any chance you can change the tyre on this thing? Just got a puncture," he said.

"Sure, I'll do it," Jacob said at once. While he carried out the job, another customer turned up, begging me to fix their exhaust and apologising for the lateness. In the end I told Jacob he could leave and Embry gave him a ride home before going back to work. I finally locked up around six-thirty and went home.

Mom was out and had left me a note to say there was some chilli in the refrigerator for me to heat up if I wanted. She didn't say where she was or when she'd be back, but I immediately guessed she would be with Billy. I stuck the chilli in the microwave, shovelled it down my neck and then called Jacob, eager to hear his voice.

After about fifteen minutes talking with him, I heard Billy speaking in the background.

"Is that Sam? Ask him to come over, will you?"

"Did you hear that?" Jacob said.

"Yeah. Are they working up to the big confession?"

"Something like that."

"Ok, I'll just jump in the shower, give me a half hour," I said, delighted at the prospect of spending some time with him after all, even if we did have to sit there while his Dad and my Mom confessed their sins like a pair of kids.

When I got there, Jacob opened the door before I was even out of the truck. My heart lurched and I longed to just walk over and wrap my arms around him. I followed him into the lounge room where Billy and my Mom were sitting several feet apart, chatting about nothing. I threw myself onto the sofa next to Mom and Jacob took the armchair. Billy just smiled and it was Mom who spoke.

She and Billy had been spending a lot of time together, they realised they had feelings for each other, they hoped we'd be happy about it. We both agreed we were happy for them and didn't mention that we had already guessed. A few minutes later we escaped, grabbed some drinks from the kitchen and went to Jacob's room.

He set up his laptop on the dresser and stuck a disc in the DVD drive for us to watch and we sat side by side on the bed, our backs to the window, feet hanging off the edge of the narrow bunk. There was perhaps an eighteen inch gap between us and all I could think about was how to close it. I kept glancing sideways at Jacob and I knew he kept looking at me when my eyes were on the computer screen. Eventually we looked at each other at the same time.

'Stop fooling about,' I thought to myself. 'He didn't regret it before.'

"Come here," I said softly and turned towards him.

He moved closer to me and I reached out, resting my hand on his neck. He met my eyes for a second and then dropped his away again. I turned my head a touch and brushed my lips against the corner of his mouth and his eyes closed slowly, one of his hands coming up to rest on my chest. My heart began to hammer as I kissed him again, my lips caressing his, tasting him and I slid my other arm around him. His hand moved up around my neck and I plunged my tongue into his mouth, my excitement mounting rapidly as he continued to respond eagerly. I was amazed that what I had wanted for so long at last seemed to be happening. I changed position, stretching out with my head on the pillow, drawing Jacob down beside me. Our lips barely parted and then I was devouring him again, holding him tight against me.

My senses spun and I was a hundred times more aware of everything than I ever had been with Leah; the taste of him, the heat of his mouth, the feel of his body against mine, his arms holding onto me. I could barely breathe, my heart felt as if it would explode out of my chest and I was completely overwhelmed by what I felt for him. In addition, I was becoming more aroused than I'd ever been in my life. Friday night lying next to him fantasising had been nothing. I was hard and aching and it was all I could do to not grind myself against him.

Reluctantly I decided to slow things down. It would be just like my Mom to come and burst in on us, even though she wasn't in her own home. Before I had chance to loosen my hold on him and draw back, Jacob suddenly pulled away from me. He was breathless, his eyes half closed.

"Sorry," he whispered.

"We probably shouldn't do this with them in the next room anyway," I said quietly. "You sure it's what you want, though?"

"Yeah." He leaned closer again and turned his face into my neck. I brushed my lips against his ear.

"This has kind of happened in a rush," I said.

"Not really. We spent about the last six weeks together," Jacob reminded me.

"Most of that time you had other things on your mind."

He pulled back further and sat up, not looking at me. "Not all the time and since we got back...I had a lot of time to think over the weekend."

"So what were you thinking?" I prompted. My heart was skipping unevenly and I almost wished we were phased; it was so much easier to simply share thoughts than actually talk. But to my surprise, Jacob carried on a little hesitantly after a brief pause and once he started, I knew I could say whatever I wanted too without having to feel awkward about it any more.

"I was thinking that you've always been here for me when I needed someone; even when it was nothing really important it was always you. I never knew why until I realised you Imprinted. There was the job and the driving lessons, helping me with the motorcycles even when it was something I was doing with Bella that you hated. You took care of me every time I was crying over her, when I first phased, when I thought I wanted to die. I would have died if you hadn't been there."

"I love you," I blurted out. "You know that."

"Yeah. So why would I want to be with anyone else?"

"You said you weren't sure you could return it," I reminded him.

"I wasn't then, but now I guess I think I could."

I sat up quickly. His back was half turned to me and I wrapped one arm around him.

"Aren't you worried at all about seeing a guy?" I asked, still unable to believe my luck.

"Not really." He sniggered suddenly. "If I'm honest, I had a kind of crush on you when I was a kid. You never noticed me though and then you met Leah and Bella came back and she was pretty much all I thought about after that."

"You had a crush on me?" I teased. "Seriously?"

"Fuck off." He reddened and laughed again.

"You know, when I Imprinted on you, I was horrified," I confessed. "I didn't understand why and that day we were reading those books, I was reading about the four stages and I couldn't imagine myself ever getting past the second one. I carried it on with Leah and it was like I was playing a part in a movie or something; I didn't feel anything except guilt for hurting her. I kept kidding myself it would work out and I could just be your friend and still be with her."

"You did seem really weird and jumpy that day," Jacob said.

I grinned and kissed his neck. A moment later my Mom knocked on the door.

"Sam, I'm ready to leave now, will you give me a ride home please?"

"Damnit," I whispered, getting up quickly. "Yeah, I'm ready!" I called.

We were home ten minutes later. We barely spoke on the short drive back, Mom almost appearing shy, which amused me and made me feel a little better about her seeing me with Jacob on Saturday morning. We watched television for a while when we got in and eventually did talk.

"Is there anything you want to ask me at all?" she began.

"About what? Billy?"

"Yes. I mean, it must have been a shock."

"No, not really," I said, feeling strangely as if our roles had been reversed. "Both of you are lonely, it makes sense. Billy's always been great; nearest thing I ever had to a Dad."

"I'm glad you're ok about it," she said. "What about Jacob?"

"He is too."

"You know you can talk to me too," Mom prompted.

"Yeah, Mom, I know," I said with a sigh. Should I say anything or not? Maybe if I said a little she'd leave me alone. We were both kind of in the same position anyway. "Did Billy tell you what Imprinting is?" I asked.

"Yes, he told me a bit about it."

"Yeah, well that's what happened. I imprinted on Jacob. About a year ago. I have no idea why, it just happened. I thought I could still go on seeing Leah, but it didn't work."

"That must have been difficult for you, I wish you could have talked to me."

"I didn't want to tell anyone, I thought something was wrong with me." I grinned now. It actually wasn't hard talking to her at all.

"And Jacob's happy about it?" she prompted.

"Yeah. Look, Mom, I know you and Billy probably talk about everything now, but don't tell him about this, will you?"

"Of course not, that's upto Jacob, isn't it?"

We chatted a while longer and then Mom went off to bed. I quickly did the same and the minute I was lying in the darkness, all I could think about was Jacob; the things he said to me, the way he kissed me back. I was delighted that he wanted to be with me.

'Why would I want to be with anyone else?' he had said. I closed my eyes and pictured him lying next to me, both of us just wearing jeans the way we had when he slept with me on Friday night. I imagined kissing him again, remembering the way he tasted, the way he felt in my arms. I began to stiffen, my dick rising up against my stomach, unrestrained by clothes this time. It had been a long time since I touched myself, but now I couldn't wait. I grasped it firmly and began to jerk myself off with long slow strokes, thinking about how I would feel if it was Jacob's hand touching me, my hand on him. He would probably have his eyes closed, his teeth biting into his lower lip, maybe gasping a little as I stroked him. I erupted immediately, covering my hand, my stomach and the sheets.

"Shit," I muttered. It had barely taken a couple of minutes and after months without even thinking about sex, there was quite a mess. I reached out for the box of tissues near to the bed and cleaned myself up, then lay back down and closed my eyes. I didn't think I would be able to sleep, but in minutes I was dozing off, still thinking about Jacob.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

On Tuesday the time flew by again, with plenty of jobs in at the shop and a broken down car half way between La Push and Forks which needed towing in and repairing. It was a great day and both Jacob and I were completely relaxed working together and chatting. The only problem I had was that after the last night, I was dying to be alone with him again. Several times I was tempted to grab him and kiss him, but I was too aware that anyone could just walk in off the street so I restrained myself.

Finally it was five o'clock and with no jobs running over, we locked up on time. Once again the idea of taking off in the Corvette got into my mind and as I drove Jacob home in the truck I wondered what he would say if I actually asked him out, even if it was something as casual as driving somewhere and picking up a pizza or something.

'Get over yourself, just ask,' I thought to myself, pulling the truck over in front of Billy's house.

"I was thinking about taking the Corvette out for a spin, do you want to go with me?" I said.

"Are you going to let me drive?" Jacob grinned.

"I might."

"Yeah, ok. I need a shower first though."

"Me too. How about I pick you up in an hour?" I suggested. "We can get some food somewhere, I'm starving."

"Cool." Jacob shot me a smile and got out of the truck.

I beamed from ear to ear as I drove home and told myself I was ridiculous for feeling like a kid going on a first date. I dived into the shower, dragged on fresh jeans and a shirt and shoved my wallet into my pocket.

"I'm going out again," I told my Mom as I charged out of my room. "I won't want dinner, thanks."

"I'm going out too in a minute," she said with a smile.

"Date with Billy?"

"Just going over to cook him a meal."

"Do you want a ride?" I offered.

"Yes, thank you."

I drove her over there, then shifted into the passenger seat while I waited for Jacob to come out. He appeared seconds after my Mom closed the door and grinned when he saw he was driving.

"Where are we going?" he asked, gunning the engine.

"Wherever you like. Just drive."

I stretched my arm out along the back of his seat as we set off. He headed towards Forks and then branched off east, driving fast on the mostly deserted road for around forty minutes until we came to a small town consisting of a gas station and convenience store, a diner and a handful of houses. We filled the car up and went into the diner to get some food, ordering steak and fries and cokes. The diner was quiet, but I had to wonder what the few other customers thought about two young guys turning up in a fast car, eating dinner together and gazing at each other across the table.

I drove back and parked up on the cliff road for a while. It was dark now and no would would think a lone car sitting there with the lights off was strange; it was a fairly popular parking spot, although mostly on the weekends. We must have sat there for another hour, kissing and cuddling until the windows steamed up. Once again I was turned on and uncomfortable, but I didn't do anything about it. I wanted to be somewhere more comfortable than in the car with the handbrake lever sticking up between us before I did more than kiss him. I dropped him off home just before ten o'clock and since my Mom was still there, she left to get a ride home with me.

Wednesday we didn't do anything after work. Embry came over just before five, having finished early and suggested hanging out. We all went over to my place and ordered in pizzas as Mom was out again. She set off wearing a pretty dress which she had been doing a lot lately, rather than her customary pants and shirt.

"Has your Mom got a date?" Embry asked.

I glanced at Jacob and grinned. "Yeah, she's seeing Billy."

"That's kind of cool." He looked from me to Jacob and back again. "Anything you want to add to that? I'm feeling like a fifth wheel here."

Jacob's eyes met mine and for a second he looked worried.

"He knows I Imprinted," I told him. "He caught me off guard the first time he phased."

"Oh." Jacob reddened. "Better tell him then." He looked down at his hands.

"I'm still here," Embry said looking from one of us to the other again. "Jesus, how about I just guess? You got it together. All I can say is it's about time. I'm cool. You should stop worrying what people are going to think."

He stayed for a couple of hours while we ate the pizzas and chatted for a while afterwards, but then he took off saying he'd leave us to it. Jacob and I spent another hour or so together before I took him home and picked up Mom. We talked about what Embry said and Jacob admitted he wasn't looking forward to telling his Dad what was between us.

"Well, he doesn't have to know yet, my Mom's not going to say anything," I told him. However, two days later we decided telling Billy about our situation was the best way to go and the sooner the better.

On Friday morning I went into the shop an hour early to finish a job that came in just before we closed the night before. I completed it about five minutes before the owner turned up to collect the car and as he drove away, Jacob arrived on foot. He looked a little tense and he had what looked like some kind of glossy white card in his hand.

"What's that?" I asked as he reached me where I stood at the sink scrubbing grease off my hands.

He held it out to me and I dried my hands quickly and took it, scanning the embossed writing. An invitation to Bella and Edward's wedding in eight days' time. 'Nothing like rubbing his nose in it,' I thought.

"Will you go with me?" Jacob asked.

I looked up at him and handed him the card back. He folded it in half and stuffed it into his pocket. Somehow I still expected him to be upset, but he didn't really seem to be.

"Are you sure you want to go?"

"I have to. Then it'll all be behind me," he said.

"Alright, I'll go," I said at once and couldn't help asking. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah." He stepped closer to me and I slid my arms around him, linking my fingers together loosely at his back. He rested his hands on my chest and leaned against me. I touched my lips lightly to his cheek and he turned his head more towards me so that our lips met. Another kiss and I completely forgot where we were and how much of a risk we were taking with the doors of the shop standing open to welcome any potential customers. Our tongues met and I tightened my arms around him.

"What the hell are you doing?"

We jumped apart, horrified, and turned to face the furious and red-faced Leah. I hadn't even heard her footsteps and I guessed Jacob hadn't either.

"You broke up with me to be with a _guy_? With _Jacob?"_ she shrieked now.

"Oh, shit," Jacob said under his breath and moved further away from me.

"Leah..." I had absolutely no idea what to say to her.

"Don't even think about saying it's not what it looks like! You had your tongue down his throat! No wonder you kept making excuses to not be alone with me, you're fucking gay!"

I took a few steps towards her. "Calm down, will you? It's not like I cheated on you." That was debatable, I thought. I fell in love with him while I was with her.

"And that makes it alright? I loved you, Sam! And all the time you wanted to be with a boy!" Her eyes blazed with fury and unshed tears and she seemed to be shaking all over. I glanced from her to Jacob and noticed he looked embarrassed and upset. Then when I turned back to Leah, I got one of the biggest shocks of my life; right up there with Imprinting on Jacob.

Leah phased. Her clothes split apart and suddenly she was a light grey wolf, smaller in size than the rest of us, but just as intimidating. Her long claws clicked on the concrete as she advanced on me, teeth bared, growling.

"Oh, my God," Jacob whispered. "I didn't think it happened to girls."

"Nor did I." I watched Leah warily as she took another step towards me. I knew I would have to phase too. She was mad as hell and a danger to both of us, plus I couldn't communicate with her now. I shrugged my shirt off quickly.

"Should I...?" wondered Jacob.

"No. Stay out of it." I didn't waste time taking my jeans off, but phased rapidly. I towered over Leah by a good couple of feet, but she stood her ground.

_"How could you do this to me, Sam?"_

_"I didn't do it on purpose. I did love you. I Imprinted on him. Do you know what that is?"_

_"Of course I know! I read all the books." _She turned to look at Jacob who was still standing by the sink and her lips peeled back from her teeth in a snarl. "_Why couldn't you Imprint on me?"_

"_You don't get a choice, it just happens."_

_"When?"_

_"What?"_

_"When did you Imprint on him?" she repeated._

_"Don't ask me that."_

_"Tell me, Sam!"_

_"A year ago. When he almost drowned."_

Her muscles bunched suddenly and she sprang before I realised what she was going to do. She landed about six feet in front of Jacob and I cursed myself for not having been ready. She could injure or even kill him while I dithered. I leaped to the side, blocking her from him, then pounced, my front paws extended. I struck her hard in the chest and rolled her, pinning her to the ground on her back. She struggled, snapping and clawing at me.

_"Let me go, Sam, you bastard!"_

"_Stop it!"_ I commanded. _"You can't hurt my Imprint."_

"_Let me go!"_

I felt her anguish and the feelings of guilt I'd had before where she was concerned began to resurface. Then Jacob's voice made both of us freeze.

"Oh, shit, Seth!" he exclaimed.

I looked up and Leah swivelled her head around to look the other way. Seth was standing in the doorway, his face white with shock and fear. I backed up and Leah scrambled to her feet, turning towards her brother.

"Seth, it's ok, she won't hurt you," Jacob said.

The young boy glanced over at him and then looked at the grey wolf in front of him. Leah phased back just as quickly and suddenly she was standing there naked, an arm folded over her breasts and the other hand covering her privates. The look of shock on Seth's face only increased and Leah turned her back on him and shouted at Jacob.

"Don't stand there looking at me, for God's sake, give me something to wear!"

Jacob snatched up the shirt I had taken off and threw it to her. She put it on quickly and it covered her to mid-thigh. My eyes on both her and Jacob, I had momentarily forgotten about Seth and when I turned my head towards him again I found myself looking at a sandy coloured wolf, similar in size to Leah's.

_"Oh, Jesus. Seth, it's me, Sam." _

_"Sam? What happened to me? To Leah? We're shape-shifters? I thought it was only guys! I didn't even think it was real!" _He was filled with panic.

I looked over my shoulder at Jacob and Leah, standing about ten feet apart, Leah scowling but with tears in her eyes and Jacob looking as if he didn't know what to do with himself. I didn't particularly want to leave them, but it was more important that I deal with Seth first. I figured it would be easiest to get him to phase back first and then take both him and Leah away from the shop and talk to them, but I wasn't sure how easy it would be to get Seth to relax. I could read his thoughts now; he had followed Leah when she said she was going to come and see me to try and sort things out. She was still longing for me and she didn't think I was with anyone else. Seth worried that she wouldn't get what she wanted and would be alone and upset. He reached the shop just moments after her and stood outside the door, listening. Leah's phasing had shocked his system so much it had made him follow suit, even when his body wasn't ready for it or showing any signs that he might phase in the future. Now he was terrified.

All I could do was talk to him, which I did now, giving him a quick recap of my own phasing and telling him about the pack.

_"What about Leah?" _he asked.

_"I'll talk to her too when we change back."_

_"She's been really miserable. She thought she was going to get you back."_

_"I'm sorry. It's not going to happen."_

Seth dropped down onto his haunches, then slid down slowly onto his belly with his paws outstretched.

_"What happens now?"_

_"You join the pack, I guess, although I don't know how easy that will be for Leah."_

_"How do I change back? I want to talk to her."_

I told him, coaxed him into letting the tension and worry out of himself. It didn't take long and suddenly he was human again, crouching naked on the ground and shivering. Jacob grabbed some coveralls from a hook and passed them to him. Seth got up shakily and put them on, then ran to Leah and wrapped his arms around her. I phased back quickly and dived into the office to find something to wear. There was a pair of shorts left in the filing cabinet and I put them on.

"I'll get them out of here," I said to Jacob. He nodded, his eyes worried. I wanted to give him a hug, but I didn't think it very wise with Leah and Seth standing there, she looking as if she wanted to kill me. I walked towards them.

"Come on, get in the truck," I said.

To my surprise, the pair of them did so without a word, Leah in the middle and Seth by the passenger door. I climbed in the other side and started the engine. I talked as I drove. Seth seemed fine now he had got over his initial fright, but Leah seethed with suppressed anger, grinding her teeth together and clenching her fists in her lap.

"Sam, I don't care that I turned into a frigging wolf," she said eventually. "I care that we were together for eighteen months and for more than half that time you wanted to screw Jacob!"

"I told you it wasn't like that," I said.

"But it is now, right? So what's the difference? You know, I could've made you happy. I thought I did at the start. You know how shit I feel right now? It's an insult! It would have been better if you left me for another girl! Pull over!"

"Leah, calm down, please," I said.

"_Pull over!"_ she screeched into my ear. I stamped on the brakes and halted the truck at the side of the road. She scrambled over Seth, shoved the door open and jumped out, then came around to my window. "There is nothing you can say that makes this better, Sam. _Nothing!_ I hope you're happy with your little fag friend. Billy must be so proud." She turned now and stormed off up the road, barefooted and wearing only my shirt.

"Oh, shit," Seth said. "I'm sorry, Sam."

"It's alright."

"I better go after her." He climbed down from the truck and closed the door.

"Listen, any time you want to talk about this, call or come and see me," I said. "I guess you're part of the pack now."

"I will." Seth nodded and began to run after Leah. I turned the truck around and drove back to the shop.

Jacob was checking in a car which had arrived for a job. As soon as the owner left, he turned towards me.

"What happened?"

"She's mad as hell and I don't know if she'll keep her mouth shut."

Jacob closed his eyes for a second and grimaced. "We better tell my Dad then, before he hears it from someone else."


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

It was a tense day at work and with everything done we closed up at three-thirty the way I used to when I was picking up Jacob and the others from school. I knew Jacob was worrying about what Billy would say about us, but he didn't say anything until we locked up and got in the truck to head home. We had agreed to go straight to Billy's and get it over with.

Now Jacob sat with his feet up on the dash, his arms resting on his knees, chewing his lip and shivering.

"Don't worry so much," I said. "Your Dad'll be fine."

"He'll hate me," Jacob said miserably. "What father wants to hear their son's seeing another guy?"

"Of course he won't hate you. Maybe he'll just need some time to get used to it."

"What did your Mom say?" he asked then.

"Nothing much. Just that she loves me and she doesn't care who I'm with so long as I'm happy."

Jacob sighed heavily. "My Dad's never going to say that."

"Let's go see my Mom first," I said suddenly. "I'll ask her to come with us."

"She won't want to get involved in my problems."

"Yeah, she will. Your problem is my problem; that makes it hers too. Besides, she's with your Dad, it'll probably help having her there." I reached out to grasp his hand and held it while I drove with only the other one, steering the truck towards home and parking on the driveway.

"Wait here, I'll go talk to her." I jumped out of the truck and ran into the house. "Mom!"

She came out of her room, in the process of brushing her hair.

"Hello, Sam, you're home early."

"Yeah, it's dead so we closed up. Are you going to see Billy?" I asked.

"Yes, I was going to walk, but since you're back you can drive me, if you don't mind."

"Sure. I was going to ask a favour." I explained briefly what happened and that Jacob was going to tell Billy what was going on. "He's convinced his Dad'll be horrified and go mad."

"I don't think he'll do that, he loves Jacob."

"Yeah, I know, but it's probably going to be a shock."

"Let me just ask you something, Sam. Are you sure you want to announce this right now? It's early days and he's so young; only sixteen still."

"He says he wants to be with me," I said. "It'll be much worse if Leah talks and Billy gets it third hand. Do you think we're wrong?"

"No, I don't think that. And I think Billy will be fine, even if he has to take a little time to think about it. Let's go." She reached up to give me a kiss on the cheek and grabbed her purse from the kitchen counter. We went out to the truck and Mom climbed in the other side of Jacob.

"Hey, Ms Uley," he said.

"Honey, don't you think it's about time you called me Allison?" she said with a smile. She rested her hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze. "Don't worry too much, your Dad just wants you to be happy."

Billy did want Jacob to be happy, but not with me. We all sat in the lounge room, Billy closest to the door, looking curious as Jacob said we wanted to talk to him. There was an uncomfortable silence and I was tempted to interrupt and tell him myself, but I knew it had to come from Jacob. He didn't look at Billy as he hesitantly said that he and I were together.

"What do you mean, 'together'?" Billy's eyes narrowed and he stared at Jacob impatiently, waiting for him to explain.

"I mean...seeing each other. Sam Imprinted on me," Jacob said.

The look on Billy's face rapidly turned to shock and he glanced from Jacob to me and then back again.

"It doesn't mean you have to accept it!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah. Well, I wanted to."

"You don't know what you want, Jacob, you're still a child," Billy said. "All that business with Bella messed your head up, that's all. You need more time to get over her."

"I am over her. Sam helped me get over her," Jacob told him.

Billy shot me a look which said I'd outstayed my welcome and then turned back to Jacob again. "We're not talking about this any more," he grunted. "You'll soon come to your senses. Then we'll talk. Just you and me." He manoeuvred his wheelchair around in a tight circle and rolled quickly out of the room.

"Oh God, he's ashamed of me," Jacob groaned, dropping his head into his hands. I reached over and put my hand on his shoulder.

"He's not, he probably thinks I'm taking advantage. I'll talk to him," I said.

"No, Sam, stay there, I'll talk to him." Mom got up and followed Billy, closing the door behind her.

"We shouldn't have said anything," Jacob said unhappily. "He's not going to accept it."

I slid my arm around him, hoping my Mom would be able to talk Billy around. We could now hear his raised voice through the wall, although it wasn't possible to make out the words. Jacob pulled away from me, wrapping his arms around himself and staring at the floor. My stomach began to knot up as I wondered if Billy's attitude was going to make Jacob want to cool things off. He didn't speak to me as we listened to the voices in the next room, quieter now, and I began to dread the outcome as much as Jacob did.

Eventually after about twenty minutes, the door opened and Mom came back in.

"Your Dad wants to talk to you, Jacob," she said.

He looked up at her worriedly. "He sounded pretty mad."

"It just came as a surprise, that's all. He'll get used to it. Come on, Sam, let's get going."

"I'll stay," I said at once, hating to leave Jacob when he looked so miserable.

"No, you won't, Sam, leave them alone to talk," Mom said firmly. "Don't worry, Jacob, it'll be ok." She began to propel me towards the door. I halted for a second before I left with her.

"Jacob, call me later if you want," I said.

As I drove Mom home I began to convince myself that Jacob would change his mind about being with me. He would hate to displease his Dad or make him ashamed.

"Oh, God," I groaned.

"Sam, stop worrying so much," Mom said at once. "Billy's not angry with you. All he wants is for Jacob to be happy. He had this idea in his head that Jacob would get married when he's older and give him a bunch of grandchildren. He's not against you two, not really. It's not what he expected, but he'll come around to it."

"How's he going to come around to it if he wants Jacob to get married?" I sighed.

"Sam, every parent wants their kids to settle down and have families. Come on, I imagined myself with grandkids one day too, we can't help it. Like I said, so long as you're happy that's the only thing that's important and Billy feels the same way. It'll work out. Just give it some time and _keep your eyes on the road!"_ She finished with a shriek and I realised I was looking at her while the truck wandered across someone's front lawn. I snorted despite my anxiety and swerved quickly back onto the tarmac.

It was a very long evening. I couldn't eat a bite of dinner and I sat in my room staring at the phone, willing it to ring. Eventually it did just before seven and I snatched it up.

"Jacob?"

"No, it's Embry."

"Oh."

"Don't sound so disappointed."

"Sorry."

"Shit day?" Embry asked.

"Yeah." I recapped quickly about Leah catching me with Jacob, she and Seth phasing and us deciding to tell Billy before he heard it from anyone else, while Embry uttered the odd gasp and horrified comment, but indicated that he knew Leah had found out. "Billy's first reaction wasn't very encouraging," I finished.

"I'm sorry," Embry said. "I haven't got anything good to say either."

"Go on."

"Quil called me a little while ago. He ran into Leah."

I sighed heavily. "What did she say to him?"

"You want the actual words?"

"It can't be any worse than Billy looking at me like I'm something stuck to his shoe."

"She told him he ought to keep his back to the wall when he's anywhere near you and Jacob because you're..."

"Alright, I get the picture," I interrupted, cringing. "This just keeps getting better and better. What did Quil think?"

"He thought it was just Leah being spiteful. I didn't tell him anything, I decided to speak to you first. What are you going to do now?"

"We're going to have to tell the rest of the pack," I said reluctantly. "Assuming Jacob doesn't end it after he finishes talking to Billy."

"He's not going to do that," Embry said.

"He might."

I spent the rest of the evening worrying not only about Jacob, but now about the pack as well. Ten o'clock passed and still Jacob didn't call. Mom stuck her head around the door to say she was going to bed and that I should try to get some sleep. I turned my light off and lay on the bed, still dressed, unable to stop my mind whirling. Just before eleven there was a light tap on my window. It was open a crack and I sat up quickly and pushed it wider.

"Sam?" Jacob appeared out of the darkness.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" I whispered.

"I didn't want to talk on the phone."

"Come in," I said at once, backing out of the way. He sprang up onto the sill and lowered himself quietly into the room, pausing to take his boots off before he sat down on the edge of the bed next to me.

"How was it?" I asked.

"Not as bad as I expected. My Dad's not anti-gay or anything, he said it was just a shock and it's going to take him some getting used to. He pictured me married with kids in about ten years from now."

"That's exactly what my Mom said. Ten years is a long time though, you might decide you want to..."

"No, I won't."

I was surprised when he leaned closer and gave me light kiss on the corner of my mouth and I slid my arm around him, lifting my other hand to cup his face as I kissed him warmly. I drew back after a moment.

"Do you want to stay for a while?"

"Yeah."

We lay down on the bed and just held each other. I hesitated a little about telling him what Embry had said after the day we had so far, but then decided I ought to just get it over with.

"Embry called earlier," I said. "Leah said some things to Quil."

"Yes, I bet."

"I suppose we should speak to the guys before she gets around them all."

"Yeah, we could get them to come over to the shop tomorrow," Jacob said, not sounding in the least concerned.

"You don't sound worried."

"I'm not. What are they going to say? Either they're with us or they're not. I don't care what they think, so long as my Dad's ok about it eventually."

We talked a little longer and at some point must have fallen asleep. When I woke it was dawn and Jacob was still sleeping in my arms. He opened his eyes a moment later and smiled.

"What time is it?"

"I don't know." I looked over my shoulder at the clock. "Five-thirty."

"Shit, I better get home before my Dad wakes up."

He rolled away from me and got up to put his boots back on. A couple of minutes later he jumped out of the window and disappeared. I flopped back onto the bed, greatly relieved.

The guys took the news much better than Billy. I called Embry from the shop and asked him to round the others up and bring them over around midday. The four of them trooped in and Quil, Jared and Paul listened while I gave them a quick outline of what had happened although I didn't mention Leah and Seth phasing for the time being. Quil wasn't at all surprised after what Leah had said to him and the other two alternately raised eyebrows and frowned.

"What about Bella?" Paul asked eventually. "Jake, I thought you were nuts about her?"

"I got over it."

"So now you're gay? Just like that?"

"Not exactly. But we're together now, so..."

"You really Imprinted on him?" Jared directed at me. "I thought we could only Imprint on girls?"

"Yeah, so did I until it happened. So now you all know. If Leah speaks to any of you..."

"We'll just tell her to go to hell and stop telling tales," Jared said.

"Who gives a shit, really?" Paul put in with a smirk. "So long as the pair of you don't get too friendly with the rest of us!"

Embry and Quil laughed and then the discussion quickly turned to the details of being a shape-shifter, Jared and Quil both revealing they hoped they would Imprint at some point. None of them seemed to care one bit about Jacob and me.

"There's one more thing," I said after a while.

"Yeah? What else?" said Quil.

"Leah and Seth both phased yesterday."

"Woah! Leah phased?" Jared's mouth fell open.

"I didn't think it happened to girls!" exclaimed Quil.

"Well, apparently it does if they're mad enough. So don't wind her up. Also, Seth's one of us now too. The shock of her phasing set him off. He's ok with it, but I don't know whether she's going to want to be part of the pack; it'd be pretty awkward," I said.

"Yeah, she might try and kill Jacob," Paul said with a grin. "Don't worry, we've got your back."

"Shape-shifters can't hurt one another's Imprints," Embry said. "Isn't it like a law or something?"

"Yeah, but does Leah know that?" asked Quil.

"She knows," Seth said, appearing suddenly in the doorway. "Sorry, I was eavesdropping."

"It's alright, come in," I said at once. "Where is Leah?"

"At home sulking. Don't worry about her, she calmed down right after she spoke to you, Quil. She's just bitter and jealous, she's not out to hurt anybody."

The seven of us hung out together at the shop for the rest of the afternoon and filled Seth in on everything he didn't know about the shape-shifters. He seemed intrigued by the knowledge that he could turn into a wolf on occasion and was happy to be part of the pack.

By the time we all went our separate ways, Jacob and I both felt much better. Now the only thing left to get over before we could actually concentrate on each other, was Bella's wedding.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

I didn't see Billy until the following Saturday when I went over to pick up Jacob before the wedding. It had taken me a while to get ready, not really knowing what to wear. I didn't fancy wearing a suit. In the end I settled for a new pair of black jeans, a white shirt with grey stripes and a black tie. Looking at myself in the mirror, I smirked as I thought the addition of a black coat would make me suitable for a funeral. Well, it was Bella's after all. I sniggered aloud and then straightened my face quickly when I thought about Jacob. I knew he was nervous about seeing her and I hoped watching her tie herself to Edward for eternity wasn't going to upset him all over again. He said he was over her, but he hadn't seen her since before he took off into the mountains more than two months ago.

I put some shoes on, strapped on my watch and grabbed the keys to the Corvette. I was taking Mom over to Billy's at the same time. The Clearwaters were taking the pair of them to the wedding in their MPV which had ample space for Billy's wheelchair in the back. Mom was carrying a small overnight bag with her and I eyed it suspiciously.

"What's that?"

Much to my surprise, she blushed.

"Uh...I won't be home tonight, Sam."

"Right." I felt my ears turning red and started the Corvette's engine quickly. The last thing I wanted to think about was my Mom getting it on with Billy. Still, it did have one advantage. I would have the house to myself, although I wasn't so sure Jacob would want to share it with me after he watched Bella get married. I would just have to see how things went. Despite the situation, I felt a prickle of excitement at the idea of spending the night with him without my Mom being around. With everything that had been happening lately, I still hadn't done more than kiss him and I was longing to, although at the same time I wasn't quite sure what I would actually do with him when I got to that point.

"Sam?"

"What?"

"We've been sitting here with the engine running; are you dreaming?"

"Sorry." I shook myself and reversed out of the drive quickly.

The Clearwaters were already there when we arrived, about to help Billy into the car. He settled into the seat and they left him there with the door open while they dealt with the wheelchair. Mom went to get in the car at once and I hovered, not quite sure what to do with myself.

"Give me a minute, Alli," Billy said suddenly and Mom stepped away from the car and went to speak to Sue. I thought it amusing that he called Mom 'Alli'.

"Sam! Come over here," he said now. I walked over to the car.

"Hello, Billy."

He nodded. "I have a couple of things I want to say," he began. "You know, we've known each other a long time and I've always thought you were a good kid; man now. I guess I didn't deal with things too well last week." He cleared his throat. "I only want Jacob to be happy and I had this idea of how he would achieve that; I didn't realise how different it was from what he wanted for himself. He's much happier these last few weeks and I guess that's down to you. Since you Imprinted, then I know it's not just some passing fad."

"I'll never hurt him, or let him down," I put in.

Billy nodded. "I know that. So I wanted you to know it's ok; that I'm ok with you being together." He stretched his arm out of the car, offering me his hand to shake.

"Thanks, Billy." I took his hand and we shook briefly, then I backed off.

"Look after him today," Billy added and then Sue and Mom came to get in the car and I walked off to the house, feeling enormously relieved. The door was open and I went straight in.

"Jacob?" There was no reply and his bedroom door was closed. I knocked and pushed it open a couple of inches. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah."

I pushed the door wider and stepped inside. He was sitting on the bed wearing a dark suit and tie and a white shirt and looking uncomfortable and nervous.

"I hate this suit," he grunted now. "Do you think it's too much?"

"It looks good, but you should wear what you're comfortable in," I said.

He shrugged the jacket off at once. "I don't really want to go at all," he said now.

"We don't have to go, it's up to you." I sat down beside him although I didn't touch him.

He sighed heavily and dragged at his tie, pulling the knot loose and unfastening the top couple of buttons of his shirt.

"Are you worried about seeing her?" I asked.

"Yeah. No. I don't know, I just don't want to make a dick of myself."

"Like I said, it's up to you. We don't have to go, but if we do, I'll be with you. Doesn't matter what happens," I coaxed.

He got up and went into the bathroom. I waited and repeatedly glanced at my watch, thinking we were likely to miss the ceremony the way things were going. Then eventually he came out, the sleeves of the shirt rolled up to the elbows and the tie done up properly again.

"Ok, I'm ready, let's go," he said.

It took about twenty minutes to get to the Cullens' house in the woods where the wedding was to take place. I parked the Corvette at the side of the road along with all the others, curious when I noticed Tiffany Call's old Beetle there. We walked around to the back of the house and discovered quickly that we had indeed missed the ceremony. Rows of wooden benches were laid out with all the guests sitting there, watching as various people got up to make a speech. It was Edward's sister Alice's turn and we hung back in the trees and watched from a distance.

I glanced around the people, noticing Billy and Mom sitting at the front, Bella and Edward at a table facing the guests, a large group of bloodsuckers sitting together at one side, some eyeing Bella with displeasure. The speeches went on for a while and we stayed where we were until suddenly Bella got up, excused herself from Edward and began to make her way along a path through the trees towards the house.

"I'll go and speak to her," Jacob said and abruptly turned to go after her.

'Shit', I thought and watched as he hurried after Bella, catching her up some distance from the gathering. I stayed where I was and watched as she halted suddenly and spun around, her face lighting up.

"Jacob, you came!"

"I'm sorry I'm late." He bent to give her a hug and lifted her off her feet.

"Hey."

I turned my head at the sound of Embry's voice. He was right beside me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Moral support?" Embry said, eyeing Jacob and Bella through the trees. "Want some?"

I looked at them again and sighed heavily. They were dancing now, slowly, around and around in a circle. I listened hard, easily able to hear what they were saying despite the distance they were from us.

"Are you alright?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Where have you been?"

"I don't know, Canada mostly. I've been back a couple of weeks."

"I was worried about you, out there on your own," she said.

"I wasn't on my own," Jacob told her.

"Sam found you?"

"Yeah."

His arm tightened around Bella's waist and he swung her off her feet, turning around a couple of times before he lowered her to the ground again. I heard my teeth grate together as I clenched them.

"You should get over there and mark your territory," Embry said under his breath.

"I'm not going to do that, it's not the right time," I said, much as it hurt to see them dancing together like that. I had to remind myself that Bella just tied the knot and would only be thinking about Edward. I just hoped Jacob wasn't realising he still had feelings for her. "He'll come to me when he's ready," I said to convince myself.

"But you were away for weeks," Bella was saying now.

"I needed some time. Sam was with me."

"The whole time?" she asked in surprise.

"Yeah."

"Oh! Well, I'm glad you're back."

"Sam, get over there, he's even talking about you," Embry said.

"Shut up, Embry, if we can hear them, he can probably hear us," I hissed.

"You look beautiful," Jacob said.

"Shit," I muttered.

"Radiant," he added. "You're happy?"

"Yes." Bella beamed. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I got over it," said Jacob. "Moved on."

I let my breath out in a rush.

"You met someone else?"

"No, we knew each other before you came back to live in Forks. It was only after you turned me down that I realised; when he came after me."

"You're with _Sam_?" Bella took a step back and looked up into his face, her mouth hanging open. I smirked now and Embry elbowed me.

Jacob grinned. "Yeah. He Imprinted on me."

"Wow. I didn't expect that."

"Nor did I."

"You're happy though, right?" asked Bella.

Jacob nodded and then I turned away briefly as we heard footsteps approaching from behind. It was Edward, no doubt looking for Bella.

"Sam; Embry," he greeted with a smile.

"Edward," I nodded. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." He shook my hand and then stepped around us and walked closer to Bella and Jacob. Embry and I followed him now and we all stopped at the edge of the clearing the pair were dancing in.

"I better let you get back to your husband," Jacob said at once, stepping away from Bella. "He's waiting for you."

He left her standing there and walked towards us, his eyes meeting mine as he approached. He stopped so close to me that we were touching. Delighted, I slid my arms around him and he held on to me, pressing his face into my neck.

"Are you ok?" I whispered.

"Yeah." His lips brushed my neck as he spoke.

I hugged him tighter for a moment, running one hand over his back and feeling the bunched muscles immediately loosen up. I looked over his shoulder and Embry, who was grinning, now winked at me. Edward had reached Bella and was holding her hands, saying something to her that I couldn't hear. I put them out of my mind, let Jacob go and grasped his hand instead.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes."

I kept hold of his hand as we walked back to the car, Embry following until we got to the other side of the house. Then he said he'd see us the next day and went to the Beetle, folding himself into it. I pulled open the door of the Corvette and slid behind the wheel. A moment later Jacob was sitting beside me.

"How do you feel?" I asked him.

"Different from the way I thought I would. I'm glad she's happy, like I would want any friend to be happy, but other than that I don't feel much at all."

"I'm glad," I said. "I mean, that you're not upset."

He grinned. "So what are we doing now?"

"What do you want to do?" I started the car and began to drive back towards the main road.

"Get something to eat, I didn't have anything yet today." Jacob leaned back in the seat now and took his tie off.

"Take-out or restaurant?" I asked.

"Can we eat out?"

"Sure." I was surprised; somehow I'd thought he might just want to go home and order pizza. I turned the car towards Forks and ten minutes later we parked up outside a restaurant I had gone to with my Mom once. It was an Italian Bistro with tables in alcoves, dim lighting and faint music. We ate spaghetti and held hands across the table and neither the other diners nor the waitresses turned a hair.

By the time we got back to the house it was after seven and I made coffee while Jacob leaned against the kitchen counter watching me. My heart had begun to pound the minute we got in the door and I was both excited and nervous. I stirred sugar into the two mugs and passed one to Jacob, dropped the spoon in the sink and then turned towards him. He sipped the coffee and put the mug down, licking his lower lip.

I couldn't wait any longer to kiss him and I stepped closer, resting my hands on the counter either side of him as I brushed my lips lightly against his. He closed his eyes and returned the kiss, his hands coming to rest on my chest. He must have been able to feel my heartbeat, hammering so hard I thought it may explode out of me. I slid my arms around him, plunging my tongue into his mouth and tasting coffee. I turned around, drawing Jacob with me so my back was to the counter instead, him leaning against me. I ran my hands over his back and my dick rapidly began to stiffen, uncomfortable inside my tight jeans. I knew Jacob had to be able to feel it as he pressed himself against me and the thought made me harder still. I shifted slightly, nudged his legs apart with my knee until my left thigh was between his and a fresh jolt of excitement ran through me as I discovered he was becoming just as aroused as I was.

I could barely breathe and I broke the kiss briefly, turning my face into his neck and gently grazing the skin beneath his ear with my teeth. He let out a soft gasp and I felt his warm breath on my cheek, then his lips on my ear. I took one of my hands off his back and slid it between us, began to unfasten the buttons of his shirt, my knuckles brushing his hot skin beneath. I couldn't wait to feel him against me without layers of clothes in between us and he apparently felt the same as he undid a few of my shirt buttons and slid his hand inside, resting it over my heart.

I took my hands off him briefly and yanked the fronts of the garment apart, one or two of the remaining buttons flying off as I shrugged it off my shoulders, dropping it on the floor. Jacob just watched me through half closed eyes, the lower part of his body still resting against me and his hand on my chest. I cupped his face in my hands, drawing him in for another kiss and then as we devoured each other, pulled his shirt down his arms, letting it join mine on the floor while I held him close again, skin on skin, feeling his heart thumping, running my hands over the muscles in his shoulders and back and aching to unfasten my jeans which now felt as if they were crushing me.

I wanted to feel his hands on me, to touch him in return, but despite the fact that he was kissing me back eagerly and he was just as aroused as I was, I worried that he wouldn't want to take things further. If I forgot about myself a little and concentrated on making him feel good, maybe...

I slid my hand between us again before I could come up with an excuse not to and released the top button of his pants. As I began to pull the zipper down his hard-on bumped against the back of my hand, unrestrained by underwear. I never bothered with them either; it was just another item of clothing to wreck if you phased suddenly.

Jacob pulled his mouth away from mine and sucked his breath in through his teeth, his nails digging into the back of my neck where he was holding onto me. I turned my hand and slowly wrapped my fingers around him, hesitating for a moment before I continued. I was nervous, suddenly confronted by a dick other than my own, wondering what to do next.

'Hell, Sam, you know what feels good, do that,' I told myself silently.

I ran my hand up his shaft lightly, then back down, gripping tighter around the base. On the next upstroke I traced by thumb around the head and felt he was circumcised like me. I continued to jerk him off slowly, thrilled to hear him groan in my ear and feel his body tremble because of what I was doing to him.

He came fast, spurting over my hand and onto my stomach and I had to remind myself no one had ever touched him before, although I imagined I would be just as quick to finish if he were to touch me in the same way.

I reached behind me to grab some paper towels off the roll by the stove to clean up, my other arm still resting around Jacob as he panted into my neck.

After a minute or so his hand slid from my shoulder, over my chest and down to the top of my jeans. His fingers fumbled with the top button and my stomach somersaulted. My already aching erection throbbed fiercely, longing to be freed, but all I could think about was getting naked properly, lying on my bed, taking our time over each other rather than continuing fooling about in the kitchen. I grasped Jacob's hand in mine.

"Wait, let's go to my room," I whispered.

"Ok." He took a step back, pulled the zipper on his pants halfway up and made his way to my bedroom. I quickly took my shoes and socks off, grabbed a mouthful of the now tepid coffee and followed.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

I pushed the bedroom door closed behind me. Jacob was sitting on the edge of the bed in the semi-darkness waiting for me. I was certain he must have been able to hear my heart banging against my ribs as I stretched out on the bed and ran the tips of my fingers down his back. He shivered and turned towards me, slowly sinking down into my arms.

I had never been so excited in my life as I was then and I couldn't wait to get out of my pants, which felt as if they aimed to squeeze the life out of me. I drew Jacob tighter against me with one arm, kissing him teasingly, nibbling at his bottom lip while I flipped the buttons on the jeans open. My erection sprang out immediately and pressed into Jacob's stomach. His hand was resting on my chest and after a moment I covered it with mine, pushing it slowly down my body until it reached my dick. He hesitated briefly and then curled his fingers around it, exploring the length slowly, tormenting me with the lightness of his touch. I shuffled around a little, shoving my jeans down over my hips and wriggling my legs free of them. Then I sank back against the pillows, squirming under the feel of Jacob's hand. It tightened suddenly and began to pump me a little more vigorously than I expected and I realised I wasn't going to be able to control myself for very long. My balls were already contracting and I was over-sensitive from too much time spent wanting Jacob and doing nothing about it. Now with him lying next to me, his lips on mine and his hand jerking me off, I had no chance and I erupted all over myself. Jacob looked a little smug as he took his hand away.

I grabbed a handful of tissues from the box near the bed and cleaned myself up again, deciding that a shower would be a good idea before I even thought about going to sleep, although I didn't want to do that quite yet. I wanted so much more; I wanted to touch him again, feel his body against mine, feel him under me. Would he even want that?

I turned towards him again and leaned closer, teasing his mouth with the tip of my tongue and stroking my fingers down his body until I reached his pants, still only half fastened. I drew the zipper down and slid my hand inside. He was hard again and I sat up, withdrew my hand and pulled his pants down and off, dropping them onto the floor. Jacob sat up slowly, his eyes meeting mine in the dim light, his lips slightly parted as he breathed fast. I lifted my hand to his face and drew him in for another kiss.

"I love you, Jacob," I whispered into his mouth. I hadn't meant to say it right then, but my lips seemed to form the words on their own. His eyes were still open and I stared into them, wondering what he was feeling at that moment. I didn't really expect him to say it back. He broke the eye contact and dropped his head forward, turning his face into my neck.

"I love you."

My heart seemed to stop beating. I hadn't imagined him saying that to me would overwhelm me so much and I just hugged him against me, my eyes closed, reminded a little of that moment I Imprinted when everything else ceased to exist and there was only him.

I loosened my hold on him now and edged backwards until I was propped up against the wall, a pillow behind me. Jacob moved closer again and I reached out, resting my hands on his sides, pulling him onto me. I wanted to touch him, to be touched, to hold him and kiss him all at the same time and I was anxious about what I was going to do next. He kneeled astride me, his butt resting on my thighs, his dick rigid and standing up against his stomach. I slid an arm around his waist, drawing him a little more towards me as I tipped my head back to kiss him. I stiffened again rapidly and felt it bump against his, making him shiver and twitch. I put my free hand between us, grasping both him and me together, rubbing slowly.

Jacob pulled his mouth away from mine, panting, his breath hot on my neck, and then reached down to push my hand away, replacing it with both of his. It was my turn to gasp and I rested my hand on his thigh instead, stroking the firm flesh. I wanted to explore further and wondered if he would like it or not. There was only one way to find out. I lifted my hand to my mouth and wet my fingers with saliva, then reached down, gently probing my index finger beneath him until I felt the small tight hole. I pressed against it and my finger slid in an inch. Jacob's hands stopped moving suddenly and his whole body tensed.

'Damn, he doesn't want that,' I thought. But after a few seconds he relaxed again and continued rubbing both of us, the feel of his hands and his hard-on against mine making me shiver. I risked pushing my finger deeper and he shuddered and groaned. He was so tight I thought, there was no way on earth my dick was going to fit in there. I decided to stick with just touching and rotated my finger carefully, sliding it in and out, probing deeper, delighted by the way Jacob breathed hard in my ear. I tried inserting my middle finger alongside the first and he seemed to stretch a little; maybe it could work after all. I tried to imagine what it would feel like if I were to fuck him, the way he was so tight, it would be mind-blowing. I started to come as I thought about it and his hands moved faster, bringing himself to the finish only seconds after me.

I withdrew my fingers slowly and wrapped both arms around him for a moment. His skin was slick with sweat and I could feel the stickiness of semen on my stomach and on my thigh where a little was still leaking from him.

"Do you want to get a shower?" I suggested.

"Yeah." He laughed softly and pulled away from me.

I got up quickly and made my way to the bathroom in the dark, turning the shower on as hot as it would go and stepping under the spray. Jacob joined me and after a few minutes just standing under the scalding water, we fooled about, lathering each other in shower gel, splashing around until the shower ran cold. I grabbed some towels and handed one to Jacob, dried myself quickly and went to the kitchen for some water. Jacob was still in the bathroom so I left him to it and went to my room. I straightened the pillows and got into the bed, suddenly exhausted. Jacob appeared minutes later and slid into bed with me, his back turned to me and I wrapped my arms around him, snuggling against his back and pressing my face into his neck. I remembered imagining doing just that not too long ago and the idea had made me very nervous then. Now it just felt amazing to be holding him after what we had just done, after hearing him say he loved me.

I fell asleep in seconds and when I woke again it was light and Jacob was still lying in my arms in the same position he had been in hours before. I slid away from him carefully, trying not to disturb him, and went to the bathroom. When I returned he was still sleeping and I snuggled up to him, kissing his ear until he opened his eyes seconds later and turned to look at me. I brushed my lips against his and immediately felt the stirrings of desire again. I deepened the kiss, but Jacob's hand came up to land on my chest and he pushed me away a little. For a brief moment I was disappointed, until he merely said he had to pee and got out of the bed.

While he was gone, I pulled open the drawer of the bed table and searched through the contents. I was sure there were still some condoms in there somewhere. I didn't even know if we would go that far, but it would be a good idea to know if I had some or not. Jacob hadn't been with anyone, Leah hadn't and I'd always been careful anyway, but I thought I probably ought to use one, at least to begin with. There was a single one left in the drawer and I shoved it under the pillow. Then another thought crossed my mind. Saliva had been ok when it was just my fingers, but maybe something more slippery would be better if we did try having sex.

I jumped as Jacob came back into the room, feeling as guilty as if I'd been caught doing something I shouldn't. I got up and headed for the door, muttering that I would go to the bathroom myself. There had to be something in the bathroom cabinet, it was full of all kinds of crap Mom used. I opened the cabinet and looked at the stuff in there. My toothbrush, razor, showergel and shampoo and then about a hundred female products - fancy soaps, bubblebath, perfume, face cream, body scrub, shampoo, hair conditioner, foot cream, hand cream, makeup remover and on and on.

"Jesus," I muttered. There was some baby oil in there too, but I knew you weren't supposed to use oil with latex. Then my eyes landed on a tube of something behind the body scrub - KY Jelly. What the fuck? I didn't even want to think what she wanted that for. However, it was just what I was looking for. It was a small tube and I hid it in my hand as I went back to the bedroom. Jacob wasn't looking at me and I shoved it under the pillow with the condom as I got back into the bed. Just in case, I thought.

"When's your Mom coming back?" Jacob asked.

"Not until I fetch her."

I slid my arm around him, pulling him closer to me and it was him who instigated our kiss, his lips caressing mine, teeth gently biting my bottom lip. His hand stroked down my back and I immediately began to get hard again. He turned onto his back and I leaned over him, hooked one of my legs over his, rubbing myself against his thigh. I plunged my tongue into his mouth and ran my hand down his body, feeling his heart beating, the muscles jumping in his stomach under my touch, his erection thrusting eagerly into my hand.

I stopped touching him after a moment, wanting to feel more of his body against mine, and shifted myself onto him, my knee pushing his thighs apart so I could rest between them. My dick nudged against his and my weight trapped both between our stomachs where they throbbed impatiently for release.

I wasn't sure where to go from there. All I could think about now was fucking him, but maybe he wouldn't want to and I worried that I might hurt him. Still, he'd liked me touching him. He was still kissing me, his arms holding me tight and now he pulled his knees up either side of me, almost like an invitation. What was the worst that could happen? He could tell me to stop.

I broke the kiss, slipped my hand under the pillow and found the tube of KY Jelly, drew it out and flipped the cap open. Jacob watched, but didn't say anything as I squeezed some onto my fingers, coating them liberally before I slid my hand under him and tried the same thing I did before. One finger, then two. The lube made a huge difference and he squirmed beneath me, rolling his head back on the pillow and groaning as I explored gently, stretching him a little more. I kissed his ear, nibbled at his neck, rubbed myself against him, my body aching.

"I want you," I whispered. The way things were going, I'd come before I even did anything and I wanted to be sure he wanted it too.

"Me too."

I drew my head back and looked down at him. His pupils were dilated and as I kept moving my fingers inside him, they enlarged still further until his irises seemed to disappear. I withdrew my fingers slowly and he breathed out hard. My heart thumped nervously and I reached under the pillow again for the condom. 'Should I use it or not? God, what's wrong with me? Ask, damnit.'

"You want me to use this?"

He glanced at the square blue packet in my hand, then met my eyes again and shook his head.

"I don't think you slept with half of Forks and you know I haven't."

I grinned and tossed the condom on the floor. "There was only Leah and one other and I was always careful."

Somehow the brief exchange had dispelled my nerves and I lifted myself off him, propping myself up slightly on my knees and one elbow while I squeezed more lube into my hand and lathered myself in it. It felt cool and slippery and my erection pulsed eagerly as I guided it between his legs. I still didn't think I would fit as I pressed the head against him, but suddenly it slipped forward into him. He froze and his muscles clamped down on me; I stopped moving.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked anxiously.

"No."

He was trembling and I held still, waiting for him to relax again, which he did after a moment. I pushed forward carefully and my full length gradually slid into him. I almost lost control of myself right there; without the desensitizing layer a condom would have afforded, every nerve in my dick exploded. He was so hot, so incredibly tight and the lube so deliciously slippery. I didn't move for a minute and then I propped myself up a little more as Jacob slid his hand between us and began to jerk himself off. I pulled back and then thrust forward again, my eyes locked on his, watching for any sign that I was hurting him.

Once his brows drew together in a grimace and I hesitated, but then he stopped touching himself and put both hands on my butt, pulling me harder against him. I groaned aloud and squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to make it last just one more minute.

"Oh, God, Sam," Jacob gasped at that moment and a second later he came, spurting between us, his body trembling and his muscles squeezing me tighter. I gave up and let go, collapsing slowly onto him as I came vigorously, panting into his neck, sliding my arms under him to hold him until I stopped shaking enough to lift myself off him. I sat back on my heels, still breathing fast, my heart hammering.

"Better get another shower," Jacob said with a sudden grin. He stayed where he was for another minute or two, his chest rising and falling rapidly, then got up and I followed him to the bathroom.

"So who was the other girl?" he asked, smirking at me as he turned the water on.

"What other girl?"

"You said there was Leah and one other."

"Nobody important," I said, cringeing as I was reminded of Sophie.

"Come on, I tell you everything."

"It was at that bonfire, you know when you and Embry were getting drunk?" I confessed. "I was kicking myself afterwards."

"You were screwing?" Jacob snorted. "The trouble we got into for drinking... wait till I tell my Dad."

"You wouldn't."

I was surprised at how relaxed we were with each other now, teasing and laughing in the shower. As I looked at him I wanted to wrap my arms around him again and never let go.

We finished showering, went to put some clothes on and then headed for the kitchen. I began to make some coffee and realised suddenly that I was starving.

"What have you got to eat?" Jacob asked at that moment. "I'm starving."

"I was just thinking that. I don't know, have a look in the refrigerator; help yourself," I said. I took a mouthful of coffee and stared as he looked for supplies, still wearing only his pants. He was so beautiful.

He turned around a moment later holding a box of eggs, a carton of milk and a loaf of bread and caught me staring. I just grinned and carried on watching as he took out half a dozen slices of bread and put them in the toaster.

"Do you want some eggs?" he asked.

"Seriously? You're going to cook eggs?"

"Yeah, don't you like them?"

"Yes, I just didn't know you could cook."

"I had to learn a few basics after my Mom died otherwise me and Dad would have lived on take-out and microwave dinners. Scrambled?"

"What? Oh, yeah, whatever you're having." I leaned against the counter watching in amusement as he deftly cracked eggs into a pan and added salt and pepper, then milk and butter.

Ten minutes later we were eating scrambled eggs and toast and I glanced repeatedly at the clock, knowing we didn't have much longer before I would have to take him home and pick up my Mom.

When we finished eating, Jacob got up from the kitchen table and gathered the plates up.

"Leave that, I'll do it later. Come here," I said, grasping his hand and pulling him around the table towards me. I wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him against me and pressing my lips against his chest.

"Damnit," I muttered, half to myself. "I wish you could just stay here."

I let go of him again reluctantly and got up, giving him a brief kiss before he went to the bedroom to find the rest of his clothes. I cleared the table, put some boots on and grabbed the car keys. Moments later we were out of the house and on the way to Billy's, disappointed the night was over, but already planning to spend the rest of the day together once I had driven Mom home.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

I parked the Corvette on Billy's drive and leaned over to give Jacob one last kiss before we got out. It was impossible to keep it to just a quick peck and I slid my hand around his neck, covering his mouth with mine, my pulse immediately quickening. Then the front door of the house banged and we pulled back from each other quickly. My Mom had just come outside and was heading towards the car.

"I'll see you later," I said reluctantly as Jacob opened the car door and climbed out. His face turned a little red as my Mom spoke to him briefly before she slid into the seat he'd just vacated. I watched until he had disappeared into the house before I turned my attention to Mom. I felt a touch uncomfortable too, but I had to remind myself that she spent the night with Billy so I had no cause to feel that way. I started the engine again and reversed out onto the street.

"Was Jacob alright at the wedding?" she asked me.

"Yes. We didn't get there until after the ceremony, but he spoke to Bella for a little while and he's ok."

"That's good."

We were back home in five minutes and Mom went to her room to get changed. When she emerged, she announced she was about to do the laundry and headed for my door to see what I needed doing.

"Oh, wait! I'll sort it out," I said, shooting past her quickly to the room. I hadn't tidied anything up and I was sure there would be something embarrassing in there. I slipped inside and closed the door, immediately relieved that I'd got in there first.

The room smelled of sex, the bedding was tangled up in a heap, the unused condom was on the floor and Mom's lube was on the bed table with the cap open. In addition there were wads of used tissues scattered about and I wouldn't have been surprised if there were stains on the sheets, although I didn't notice. I opened the window quickly and tidied up, put the tube of KY in my pocket, rolled the sheets into a ball and went to stuff them into the washing machine. Then I went to the bathroom and put the small tube back in its place, hoping she wouldn't notice it was more than half empty now. I was going to have to get hold of something like that.

I hung around the house for the rest of the morning, glancing at the clock every five minutes, convinced it must have stopped. I had arranged to go over to Billy's again at one o'clock and those few hours crawled by. All I could think about was Jacob; how amazing the night with him had been; how much I longed to do it again; how delighted I'd been when he said he loved me. I daydreamed my way through the last hour until it was finally time to leave and then set off in the truck. I would rather have taken the car, but it was running low on gas and the one station in La Push was closed Sundays.

Jacob came out of the house when I parked up, closing the door behind him and waited for me to reach him. I just walked right up to him, slid my arms around him and kissed him, the way I'd wanted to on more than one occasion before. He held onto me, pressing himself against me as he kissed me back and I had to force myself to step away when I began to get hard.

"We're not on our own, I'm afraid," Jacob said then. "Embry and Quil turned up a little while ago."

"Damn them," I grinned. "Still, I guess we should catch up with everyone." I pulled him closer again for a moment and pressed my lips to his ear. "Hopefully my Mom's going to decide she has to stay over here pretty often."

Jacob grinned, his eyes sparkling, and I let him go reluctantly, shoving my hands into my pockets to disguise my excitement as he opened the door again and I followed him into the house.

As Embry and Quil were already with us, we decided to meet up with the others too. Jacob called Jared and then Paul, asking them to come over and meet us.

"What about Seth?" he asked then. "Should I call him?"

"Yeah, go on," I agreed, wondering about Leah. As she had phased, really she ought to be included if we were all going to get together, but I didn't feel comfortable with it. However, when Jacob hung up the phone he said that Seth was on his own; Leah had gone out by herself earlier.

When Jared, Paul and Seth arrived, everyone piled into the truck and we drove up to the woods. Seth wanted to phase under less stressful circumstances and was keen to run with the pack. I wasn't so sure; I couldn't stop thinking about Jacob and how I wanted to...

'Hell, Sam, don't think about it,' I told myself. I glanced at him as I parked the truck and he looked a little anxious as if he was having the same thoughts.

Everyone got out and began to undress. I avoided looking at Jacob and phased as fast as I could, worried that I would disgrace myself by getting turned on. Jacob did the same thing and I grinned to myself, then quickly shut off my thoughts as the others began to phase.

It was a difficult afternoon to say the least, particularly when a small grey wolf suddenly caught up with us and announced that she wanted to hang out with the pack.

"_Leah!"_ Seth was clearly delighted that she had decided to join us, but I felt more uncomfortable than ever, although I knew I would have to speak to her eventually.

I was relieved when we all headed back to the truck, myself, Jacob and Embry following the others at a distance, Embry bringing up the rear. By the time we caught up, everyone else had already phased back and were scrambling into their clothes. I relaxed a little with relief, my head aching with the effort of not thinking about...

'..._Jacob, kissing me, fooling around in the shower, washing each other...'_

_'...touching me, making me feel so good...' _He was thinking the same thing.

_"Guys, please, think about something else, will you?" _Embry's horrified exclamation came from behind us.

_"Shit. Sorry,"_ Jacob said. He trotted around the other side of the truck, quickly phased back and dragged his pants on. When he looked up he was laughing.

Moments later Embry and I were human again and dressed. I grinned across at Jacob, then bent to lace my boots up. When I straightened again, I found Leah standing next to me.

"Sam, can I talk to you?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah, ok." I glanced at Jacob and shot him another smile before I walked a little way from the truck with her.

"I just wanted to say sorry," she began. "I was a real bitch, I shouldn't have told Quil anything. You know, I never would have said anything to Billy, I was just mad."

"It doesn't matter now," I said. "They all know."

"You told Billy?" Her eyes widened.

"Yeah, he's ok about it."

"Does he love you?" She bit her lip.

"Billy?"

"Jacob, you dick."

"Yes."

She sighed heavily. "That's good. I wish someone would Imprint on me, or me on them." She met my eyes and I could see she was still miserable. Once again it pained me.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"Yeah, I know. You can't choose who you Imprint on. I just wish it had been me." She reached out and gave my arm a brief squeeze, then backed off. "I'm going to walk back, I'll see you."

I watched her for a few seconds until Seth ran after her, then turned back towards the others. They were all in the truck except Jacob, who was standing a few yards away from it watching me. He was biting his lip and looking slightly hurt. I went to him.

"She still wants you," he said softly.

"Yeah, but she knows I love you." The hell with the others, whether they were watching or not. I pulled him in for a hug. "She just wanted to say sorry, for losing it and telling Quil about us."

"Ok." He hugged me back.

"Jesus, put each other down!" Paul shouted.

I let Jacob go reluctantly and walked back to the truck.

"Fuck off," I muttered at Paul.

"What did Leah want, anyway?" he asked now. "Not turning into a bunny boiler, is she?"

"No," I snapped.

"What have you got against her?" Jared asked him.

"Nothing, always thought she was a bit of a crazy bitch though."

"Knock it off, Paul," Embry said, climbing into the cab of the truck.

I went to the driver's side, pulled the door open and waited for Jacob to get in and slide across before I climbed up. I couldn't wait to get rid of the others and just be with him.

Ten minutes later I dropped them all off at Embry's house and Jacob came home with me. For once Mom was in, saying she had been back to spend the afternoon with Billy but would now be in for the evening. We resigned ourselves to the fact that we wouldn't be getting any time alone and instead watched television and ate dinner with Mom. In a way I didn't mind, because my head was banging now and the Aspirin I had taken made no difference.

Jacob left about nine o'clock in the truck and I went to bed, wishing I wasn't alone. Even though I didn't feel like doing anything right then, I missed him just being with me.

In the morning it was pouring with rain and Jacob drove by to pick me up a little before eight. I had been up for two hours, impatient to see him and I ran outside quickly and dived into the truck.

"Hey. How's your head?" he asked.

"Better." I leaned over and kissed his neck. "I missed you last night."

"Me too."

He turned towards me and I slid my arms around him, covering his mouth with mine in a heated kiss. I was almost tempted to suggest giving work a miss, but it wasn't as if we could call the boss and pretend to be sick. In effect I was the boss and no one would open up if I didn't. I made myself pull away from him and he started the truck.

Mondays were usually busy at the shop, but for once there wasn't much on. We needed some parts collecting from Forks and usually Jacob did that, but for once I went myself. I needed to pick up some new clothes while I was at it, seeming to have shredded a fair few items over recent weeks and not replaced them.

I collected the parts, drove into the town and parked outside a clothing store. It didn't take me long; I gathered up half a dozen pairs of jeans and cargo pants and a few t-shirts, paid cash and went back to the truck.

There was still something else I wanted to buy, I just wasn't sure where to get it. Pharmacy? I dismissed the idea immediately. Leah had recently started working in there and the last thing I wanted to do was buy lube from her; it would be cruel at best. I knew there was another store I could get it from, I just wasn't too thrilled with the idea of going in. It was about two blocks away and after a few minutes' hesitation, I left the truck where it was and walked there. 'Rusty's Pleasuredome'. Even the name of the place made me cringe. I just hoped I wasn't going to run into anybody I knew in there.

To my surprise, it wasn't the way I expected at all. It was a brightly lit store with rows of shelving displaying just about everything you could imagine, while some innocuous pop song pumped out of the speakers and various members of staff in jeans and purple t-shirts displaying the store's logo wandered around, assisting customers or serving at the checkout. The same as any other store really. I didn't know why I'd imagined it to be seedy and creepy.

There was a whole shelf of lubricants of different brands, some in tubes, some in bottles and varying different colours and I was immediately stumped. How was I supposed to choose from such a vast selection? I picked up a pump-action bottle with the name 'Astroglide' on it, thinking it would be easier to deal with than a tube and quickly scanned the label.

'...water based...suitable for use with condoms and latex toys...ideal for both vaginal and anal sex...'

"Hey there, do you need any help at all?"

I almost dropped the bottle at the sound of the female voice and I looked up to find a pretty blonde assistant smiling at me.

"Uh...no...thanks, I found what I want," I stammered, turning away to head for the checkout. My face felt like it was on fire. I parted with almost twenty dollars and escaped as quickly as I could, the bottle mercifully hidden inside a plain black plastic bag. I hurried back to the truck, dived inside and thrust the bag into the larger one which contained the clothes, starting to laugh at myself now. Who the hell got embarrassed going in a sex shop? It was 2006, not the middle ages.

I started the engine and was just about to reverse out in to the traffic when Embry appeared, running down the street towards me, waving. I waited for him and he climbed into the cab next to me.

"Will you give me a ride back?"

"Aren't you working?" I asked him.

"No, afternoon off."

"Oh, ok, sure." I swung out into the street, switched to first gear and quickly carried out a U-Turn before heading back to La Push.

"What are you doing in town?" Embry asked.

"I had to pick up some parts. And some clothes."

"Anything worth looking at?" Embry poked the bag with his foot and bent down.

"It's just jeans and stuff, Embry, leave it," I said.

He ignored me and opened the bag and I could only imagine the embarrassment of him seeing what I bought. I snatched it out of his hands and shoved it down the other side of my leg.

"I said leave it, stop being so fucking nosey," I growled.

"Hell, Sam, what have you got in there?"

He sat back in the seat, but rather than wait for an answer he began talking about a girl he'd met at work. I relaxed and chatted to him as we drove back, dropping him off home before I returned to the shop. It was just as quiet as it was when I left and Jacob was leaning against the sink, a bottle of coke in his hand.

"You've been ages," he said.

"Sorry. I ran into Embry; he's got the day off work. Just gave him a ride home. Anyone been in?"

"No. Completely dead."

"Good." I went to him and slid my arms around his waist. "Let's finish the Ram and close up." I gave him a quick kiss and backed off, wondering if there was any chance my Mom would be out when we got home. Suddenly I was longing for him and it was all I could do not to start fooling around there and then.

Jacob went out to the truck and fetched the battery and alternator I had bought for the Dodge Ram which had been towed in early that morning and we fitted them quickly, fired it up and called the owner to come and collect it. He arrived within a half hour, paid the bill and took off. It was still only three o'clock. We locked up at once and headed over to my place in the truck. The door was locked and I pulled the key out of my pocket.

"She's out," I said needlessly, pushing the door open. I walked into the kitchen, dumping my bag of shopping on the table and then found a note in front of the kettle weighted down by a spoon.

'Gone to Billy's. Pie in refrigerator. See you tomorrow. Love Mom.'

I grinned.

"What's that?" Jacob asked, eyeing the note.

"Invitation for you to stay tonight. If you want." I showed him the note and wrapped my arms around him again.

"Yeah, I want." He slid one hand inside my shirt, resting it over my heart and pressed himself harder against me.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

We didn't waste any time heading for my bedroom and I snagged the bag off the table again as I passed it, then dropped it next to the bed and took out the smaller black bag, putting it on the bed table. I was longing to get my hands on Jacob and I peeled off my t-shirt, then reached out, grasped the bottom of his shirt and stripped it off over his head before I pulled him against me. He was just as eager, his mouth hot on mine, his hands running over my back, the hardness in his pants thrusting against my own. I was aching, almost desperate, wanting him even more than I had on Saturday, now that I knew how good he felt and how much he wanted me too.

I backed off to deal with my boots and jeans, glancing at Jacob as he did the same, dumping his things unceremoniously in a heap. My eyes were immediately drawn to his dick, curving up against his stomach, rigid, just like mine. I stepped out of my jeans and drew him back into my arms, my pulse quickening as I felt him against me. I pushed him down onto the bed beneath me, my tongue thrusting deeper into his mouth and my body resting between his thighs. I didn't want to rush things, but at the same time I couldn't wait. I pulled my mouth away from his and turned my head, sinking my teeth gently into his neck, sucking and nibbling at the skin. His nails dug into my back and he squirmed beneath me, his dick throbbing against mine.

I drew back and reached out to grab the Astroglide from the bed table, flicked off the clip holding the pump in place and squeezed some into my hand. It was like silk and at least twice as slippery as the KY. I slid my hand beneath Jacob and inserted a finger carefully, then another. He gasped and writhed under me, his body shivering, removing his arms from me suddenly and pushing me back enough to get his hand between us. His fingers wrapped around me firmly and he began to jerk me off, slowly, teasingly, making me shudder. It was only a couple of minutes before I had to push his hand off me, knowing I wouldn't last much longer. He groaned in protest and I couldn't resist teasing a little more. I withdrew my fingers, reached out for some more lube and began to run my hand up and down his hard-on, coating it in the silky liquid, watching his pupils dilate further, his lower lip catching between his teeth.

"Oh, God," he gasped suddenly. "Sam, please..."

Hearing him beg excited me even more than I already was.

"Please, what?"

"Fuck me. Now...please..."

I stretched my arm out again for the lube, thinking I probably ought to have bought a case of it. I coated myself in it quickly and guided myself, sliding smoothly all the way in, sucking my breath in through my teeth. I was never going to get over how hot and tight he was. I drew back almost all the way and plunged in again. Jacob began to move with me and we thrust harder against each other, his dick, slippery with lube, sliding against my stomach. We came together, almost as quickly as we had the first time and I collapsed onto him, panting into his neck, holding him tight.

"I love you, Sam." It was a faint whisper on an exhaled breath, right in my ear.

I kissed his neck, tasting salt, working my way up to his ear. "I love you."

I pulled away from him slowly, reluctantly, and sat up. Jacob rolled over and eyed the bottle on the bed table.

"Where did that come from?" he asked.

"Rusty's Pleasuredome," I said, grinning. "Just a touch embarrassing, especially when I picked up Embry and he decided to look at what I bought."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing, he didn't get that far. He was pretty curious as to why I was so pissed at him for wanting to look at my new clothes," I snorted.

Jacob laughed. "Can I have a shower?" he asked.

"You don't have to ask. I'll join you."

As before we shared the shower, washing each other, lingering under the hot spray while we kissed and cuddled. Later we put our pants back on, heated up the chicken pie Mom had left in the refrigerator and sprawled on the sofa watching television and eating.

It was still early evening when we returned to the bedroom and this time we did manage to make it last, kissing and stroking each other, tasting each other's skin, teasing each other until we were both aching with longing. This time I decided to try something different. I sat up to reach the lube, but it was Jacob who grabbed it, squeezing some into his hand and coating me in it, his hand slithering over me and making me twitch and groan.

"Turn around," I said when he was done. He turned, kneeling in front of me and I placed my hand on his back, pushing him forward so that he rested his hands on the mattress. 'Wolf position,' I thought to myself with a grin.

When I guided myself into him he dropped his head forward, groaning and digging his fingers into the mattress. I pushed forward harder until my hips were pressed up against his buttocks and I was even deeper than I'd been before. Jacob shivered and I slid my arm around him, grasping his erection and began to jerk him off in time with my thrusts into him. He was panting hard, grunting each time my dick reached the deepest point it could get to inside him. He came rapidly and a moment later I caught up, emptying myself, feeling almost as if I were being pulled inside out.

"God, Jacob," I groaned, withdrawing slowly. I was shaking and over-sensitive, my breath coming in harsh gasps. I slid down onto my side on the mattress, pulling Jacob into my arms, his back still to me. The short hair at the nape of his neck was wet, his body damp with sweat and trembling. I just lay there holding him until we could breathe enough to speak, then I moved away from him reluctantly. Another shower; then sleep.

In the morning we drove by Billy's to see if Mom needed a ride home, but she was cooking breakfast and said she'd make her own way back later. We headed off to the shop and a busy day.

Over the next few weeks, we fell into a new kind of routine. Mom began staying with Billy all weekend, which meant Jacob stayed with me all weekend too. We often went out and did other things on Saturdays, like going to the movies, or driving off somewhere and finding a place to eat out, spent some time with the pack on Sundays and as much time as we could alone at the house, invariably going back to work on Mondays exhausted. Then there was usually the odd night in the middle of the week where Jacob stayed over and Mom stayed with Billy.

We didn't see any more of Leah until October, Seth telling us she wanted to keep away from me for a while, but then one day she arrived with her brother and said she would spend the day with us.

"Great," Paul grunted when he saw her approaching.

"What's with you?" asked Embry. "Why don't you like her?"

"I never liked her, even when Sam was seeing her," he said. "Maybe I just thought the pack was a guy thing."

"Hell, Paul, what does it matter? Give her a chance," Jared said. "I like her; she's feisty."

We all spent the day together, going down to the beach for a swim and lounging about on the rocks afterwards, talking. We didn't phase, just hung out together as a group. Jacob and I moved a little away from the others after a while so we could whisper together and torment each other with ideas about what we might do when we got home.

"I can't wait to get back," Jacob said softly.

"I want you," I whispered. "In the shower."

"Stop it."

"Why? Getting antsy?" I grinned.

"I won't be able to stand up in a minute without everybody seeing what I'm thinking about."

I grinned and elbowed him. I was getting that way myself.

Our teasing was interrupted moments later by raised voices and we looked up. The rest of the group were still sitting on the rocks, Leah and Paul snarling at each other about something insignificant while the others eyed them with a mixture of amusement and exasperation.

"Fuck off, Leah!" Paul snapped after a moment. She leaped to her feet.

"Yeah, that's really eloquent, Paul; is that the way you speak to all the girls? No surprise you don't have a girlfriend." She stepped down from the rock she was standing on and her feet sank a little into the pebbles. Paul got up immediately and walked towards her.

"No, it's only you, Leah, nobody wants you around."

"Bastard!" spat Leah.

"Paul, cool it, will you?" Embry put in. "Why do you have to fight with everyone?"

"Shut up, Embry," Paul growled.

"For God's sake," I muttered. "What is wrong with him?"

"Maybe he likes her," Jacob said.

"You think?" I glanced at him, frowning.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "He doesn't really have any reason to hate her the way he pretends to."

"Woah, Paul, give it up!" Jared exclaimed suddenly and I turned my head the other way again quickly.

Paul was gripping Leah by the shoulders and shaking her, one side of his face red where she had clearly slapped it.

"Shit," I muttered and got to my feet.

Paul had always been bad-tempered, but since his Dad had been killed things had improved a lot. Now he was out of control. I was about to walk over and break them up when something happened. Paul was still holding Leah by the shoulders, his fingers digging into her flesh, but he was motionless, staring into her eyes while she in turn looked up at him, her hands hanging limply by her sides. They stayed like that for perhaps a minute or two while everyone else watched, silent. Suddenly Paul dropped his hands away and Leah took a step back, a bemused expression on her face. Then she turned and began to walk off up the beach. Paul sat down with a thud as if his legs had given way and stared after her.

"Did Paul just Imprint?" Embry said quietly, looking at me.

"I think so."

Paul scrambled to his feet then, his face red.

"Go to hell," he grunted. "What are you talking about? I don't even like her."

"You don't have to like her," I said. "But if you Imprinted, you'll love her pretty soon. You won't be able to help yourself." I couldn't help glancing at Jacob and he met my eyes with a smile.

"Fuck off, Sam," Paul snapped. "You don't even know anyone's alive other than Jacob."

I raised one eyebrow and grinned. "Fair enough."

"I'll catch up with Leah," Seth said, getting to his feet.

"Tell her to keep out of my way," Paul told him.

"Let's get out of here," Embry said then. "I've had enough listening to you, Paul."

Everyone began to make their way back to the truck, the others all piling into the back. I gave Jacob the keys and he drove slowly up the track to the road.

"Are you alright?" he asked suddenly.

"Yeah." I scooted along the seat until my thigh rested against his and then slid my arm around him. "Leah wanted to Imprint or be Imprinted on. I hoped she'd find something to make her happy after I kicked her in the teeth." I kissed his cheek. The continued niggling guilt I'd had where Leah was concerned had vanished.

"Paul doesn't seem too keen," Jacob grinned.

"He soon will be. After I Imprinted on you I went nuts for a couple of days thinking something was wrong with me. I kept having to talk myself out of coming over to your house to see you. Couple more days and I was actually in pain; I didn't get it. Then you and Embry turned up at the shop and it was like relief because you were there. It took me a while to figure out I was ok as long as I could see you at least once a day." I kissed his ear now.

"And now?" Jacob prompted, beaming.

"Now I hate letting you out of my sight for more than five minutes. You're my life," I said.

Jacob took his eyes off the road for a second to kiss me back and the truck swerved. I grabbed the wheel quickly, laughing.

"Hey! Knock it off!" Jared yelled, banging on the rear window of the cab.

Reluctantly I moved away from Jacob a few inches and stayed there until we had dropped everyone home and made it back to the house. It being Sunday, we still had the rest of the day and night to ourselves and intended to make the most of it.

It was the next weekend before we discovered what happened with Paul and Leah. Everyone met up at Billy's house with the intention of going to the movies to see 'The Departed', and the bad-tempered pair were conspicuously missing.

"Where's Leah?" Embry asked Seth.

Seth grinned. "She's not coming. Paul turned up a little while ago."

"Oh, yeah?"

"He's been around the last three days. Thursday they spent a half hour fighting and he left. Then he was back the next day grovelling. Yesterday he took her out for a walk and today he turned up with a box of chocolates."

"Chocolates? Jeez, that's so corny," Jared snorted.

"I can't imagine Leah being the flowers and chocolates type," said Embry.

"You'd be surprised," Seth grinned. "She's gone all stupid and giggly. No offence, Sam, but she was never like that when she was dating you."

"Wait until I see Paul," Jared grinned. "He's never going to hear the end of this."

After gossiping about them a little longer, the rest of us went into Forks to see the movie, a Martin Scorcese crime thriller, then went to a pizza restaurant before heading back home.

As usual, Jacob and I had the house to ourselves for the night and it was the early hours of the morning before we finally lay down to go to sleep. I lay there, pressed against Jacob's back, my arms wrapped around him, listening to him breathe and remembered something I had said to him the week before on the drive back from the beach.

'You're my life.' It was true - of course I loved Mom and I was fond of Billy and my friends, but Jacob was the only one I knew I wouldn't be able to live without.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

On Wednesday it was one of Mom's mid-week stays with Billy, so Jacob just came home with me after work and stayed. Mom had left us food in the refrigerator and we ate and then relaxed for the evening. There was some programme on television about performance cars, mostly Japanese. Jacob watched with interested, still dreaming about having a Skyline one day.

"It'll take me about ten years to save up," he sighed. "Can't you give me a raise, Sam?" He stuck his bottom lip out.

"I could, but it wouldn't be enough for you to buy one that much quicker. You could always look for a wreck and do it up, like I did the Corvette."

"Yeah, I guess I could."

"There are other cars similar that would cost less," I said then. "What about a Supra?"

"It's ok, but I want a Skyline."

He was pretty adamant on that and it put an idea into my head. It was less than two months from Christmas and although I intended to get him something, I had absolutely no idea what. Maybe I could find a wrecked Skyline somewhere; then he could just use his own money for parts. I knew even a write-off wouldn't come cheap, but I didn't care about the money. I would just love to see his face if I got one for him.

Now he grabbed a cushion, dropped it into my lap and curled up on the sofa, resting his head on it as the programme ended and a movie was announced to start after the commercials - 'Predator.'

I stretched my legs out and slouched back on the sofa, sliding my arm around Jacob and idly stroking his arm as we began to watch the movie. It was only ten minutes in when the doorbell rang.

"Who the hell's that?" I muttered.

"Maybe it's your Mom, not wanting to walk in on anything," Jacob smirked.

"Shut up." I slid out from under him and the cushion and went to the door. Paul was on the other side of it.

"Hey, Sam."

"Hey," I said in surprise.

"Are you on your own?" he asked.

"No, Jacob's here. Do you want to come in?" I offered.

"No, I just wanted to have a quick word with you. I'll catch up with you another time if you're busy."

"It's ok." I stepped outside and pulled the door closed. "We were just watching a movie. What's up?"

He cleared his throat uncomfortably and avoided looking at me. "You know I Imprinted on Leah...obviously."

"Yeah," I grinned. "Not still in denial, then."

"No. It's kind of awkward though."

"Why? I know it takes some getting used to, but..."

"It's not that," interrupted Paul. "I found I actually like her. We're pretty similar - hot-tempered, you know?" He laughed a little.

"So what's the problem?" I prompted.

"She's your ex. I mean, aren't you bothered by it?"

"Of course not," I said. "Listen, when I Imprinted on Jacob, I loved Leah. But when you Imprint, your life pretty much becomes about that person. I kept on seeing her, but I just made her miserable because all I wanted was him. I was a real shit to her, if I'm honest, I should have ended it sooner. You Imprinting on her is what she wanted. I don't mean _you_ exactly, but someone. I hoped she'd find someone else, whether it was an Imprint or not."

"Oh, good." Paul grinned now and looked me in the face for the first time. "So you really don't mind?"

"I said so, didn't I? Like you said, I don't know anyone else is alive other than Jacob. So how's it going, anyway? With Leah?"

"Good. We fought over it to begin with, but she seems happy about it now. It changed the way I feel about everything."

"Yeah, I know," I said. "She's all there is, right? All you want to do is things that make her happy?"

"Yeah." Paul reddened slightly and then backed away. "Ok, well I'll leave you to it. Thanks, Sam."

"Sure." I closed the door and went back to Jacob.

Paul wasn't the only one asking me for help that week. On Friday morning, Embry turned up at the shop.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, what's up?" Jacob was out fetching parts and I had to wonder if Embry had been lurking outside waiting for him to leave.

"I just wondered if you need a spare pair of hands, for a few hours maybe. Christmas is coming up and I'm short on cash."

"I don't know what you do with your money, Embry, you never have any," I grinned. I knew he'd begun dating the girl he met in the store - Suzie, her name was - and took her out just about every night. "Anyway, why aren't you at work?" I added.

"Well, that's the thing..." He sighed heavily.

"Did you get fired? Shit, Embry."

"No, I didn't get fired!" he snapped. "But I did lose my job. The store laid off two staff."

"Right before Christmas?" I said in surprise.

"It was two weeks ago. They can't compete with the new department store. I've been trying to get something else ever since, but there are just no jobs out there."

"Hell, that's rough," I said, my mind beginning to tick over immediately. "Look, I can't promise anything. Come back on Monday, eight o'clock. We're always busy at this time of year anyway. You can do the servicing up until Christmas and I'll think about what we're going to do after that."

"Seriously? You're giving me a job?" Embry's face lit up.

"Yeah"

"Thanks, brother!" He flung his arms around me in a sudden hug.

"Alright, get off me," I laughed.

Embry working at the shop turned out to be a Godsend. By the time he had been there a week I knew I couldn't tell him to find another job once the New Year came, but I thought of a way we could expand the business a little to keep all three of us busy. Jacob and Embry both thought it a great idea. The two of them would work on the day to day jobs which were always enough for two, and I would do restorations. A number of people had asked me about the Corvette since I'd had it on the road and talking to people indicated that I'd get a decent amount of jobs in if I offered the service. I decided to wait until the winter rush was over and then advertise. In the meantime, I had to find a Skyline that wouldn't wipe out my savings completely. I roped in Embry to help one evening when I wasn't with Jacob and we searched the internet.

"I can't believe you're going to buy him a car," Embry said enviously.

"Yeah, well I have to find one yet," I sighed, scanning through the ads we had found, the cheapest one still being more than I earned in a year. It had to be the R33 model - that was the one in 'Fast and Furious' that he liked.

"Wait, what's that?" Embry said suddenly, stopping me scrolling down the page. I looked at the silver Skyline he indicated.

'R33, registered 1996, spares or repair, front end, engine and suspension damage following accident.'

"Still, it's two grand," Embry added.

"But it's in Long Beach, that's nearly two hundred miles away," I mused.

"I guess it depends how much you want it. Have you even got two grand to spend?"

"Yeah, Embry, it's called saving," I grinned. "To be honest, I didn't think I'd get one for as little as that."

"You must really love him."

"Shut up and pass me the phone."

I called the number on the ad and asked some questions. The guy selling the car had taken it away from his foolish young son who had spent a lot of money tuning the car's engine to a ridiculous amount of horsepower, raced it, lost control and gone head first into a tree. Luckily the kid survived, but the car would cost a fortune to fix and had no insurance. The owner let slip he wanted to get rid of it as quickly as he could and I thought I could probably shave a little more off the price if I went to look at it. I arranged to go on Thursday, knowing I wouldn't be doing anything with Jacob in the evening.

"You can come with me," I told Embry. "We'll take Jacob home first, then go back to the shop and hitch up the trailer."

We did just that. I told Jacob I planned to hang out with Embry for a while and once he got out of the truck, we hurried back to the shop, picked up the trailer and set off for Long Beach. We made it just before eight-thirty and found the car sitting in the front yard, the front end sunk low on damaged wheels, hood crumpled, front fender and one wing missing revealing mangled suspension, the windscreen smashed and various other parts missing, such as the rear fender, lights and spoiler which clearly had nothing to do with the accident. The more I looked, the more I found to have been removed.

"Looks like you've been selling off parts already," I commented to the owner.

"It was in an accident, obviously there's going to be bits missing," he grunted.

I opened the trunk and noticed the spare wheel wasn't there. I looked inside the car and found there was no radio or speakers, the seats were gone and even the steering wheel had been removed.

"Seats just jumped out during the crash, did they?" I said. "Not to mention the steering wheel, lights and a lot of other stuff. Come on, buddy, I'm a mechanic, not a stupid kid after a cheap car. I drove two hundred miles to check it out, but I'm quite happy to go home without it if we can't come to an arrangement. What you got here is little more than scrap metal."

"Well...I guess I can knock off a couple of hundred dollars," the guy said reluctantly.

"Try five, then maybe we're getting somewhere."

He sighed heavily. "Look, I'll let you have it for seventeen-fifty. If that's not good enough, feel free to go home without it."

I pulled the wad of cash that I'd collected from the bank out of my pocket and started flicking through the hundred dollar bills. "Sixteen hundred," I said idly.

His eyes were fixed on the money and he sighed again. "Damned robbery," he muttered after a moment and took the pick slip out of his jacket.

Half an hour later we were on the road, the wrecked car secured on the trailer. Now I just had to think about how I was going to prevent Jacob seeing it until Christmas.

"Put it in our garage," Embry said at once. "Mom keeps her car on the drive. There's nothing in there but tools and bicycles and shit like that."

By midnight, the car was hidden in Embry's garage with a tarp over it and there it stayed until Christmas Eve when I took the trailer there early to collect it. Embry helped me load it up and came with me to the shop to get it off the trailer again. Christmas Eve was a Saturday and we weren't bothering to work. I drove Embry home and then went to Billy's. For once Mom had stayed home on Friday night, busy making preparations for Christmas, so reluctantly Jacob stayed with his Dad. He opened the door before I could even ring the bell and threw his arms around me.

"I missed you last night."

"Me too." I kissed him, hugging him tight against me. "You ready to go out?"

"Sure, where are we going?"

"Surprise." I had decided to show him the car that day rather than wait another twenty-four hours. Christmas Day we were spending the day with both parents and they wouldn't want us disappearing to the shop.

"Where are we going?" he repeated as I turned the truck out of the street.

"Work."

"You're kidding. On Christmas Eve? I thought we were closed," he said, disappointed.

"Oh, you'll like this, trust me," I grinned and refused to say any more.

I parked the truck and unlocked the garage door, then grabbed Jacob from behind before he could walk in and covered his eyes with my hands.

"What are you doing? What's in there?" he protested, laughing.

"Your Christmas present. I'll warn you, it needs some work." I steered him forward into the building until he was standing in front of the car, then dropped my hands from his eyes to his shoulders.

He stared, his mouth dropping open.

"Holy shit! A Skyline? Seriously, this is for me?"

"Yeah," I grinned. "Bit of a mess, but it's fixable."

"Oh my, God, Sam, it must have cost you a fortune!" he exclaimed.

"Not that much."

He turned away from the car and hugged me. "When did you get it?"

"About a month ago. Embry helped; it's been hiding in his Mom's garage since."

"Thank you, Sam. I can't believe you did this for me." He gave me a warm kiss.

"I'd do anything for you, you know that."

"So can we work on it now, then?"

"I thought your didn't want to work on Christmas Eve?" I teased.

"Well, I didn't know I'd have my own car to work on!"

"Lucky, I bought some engine components too, then," I said. "It needs a rebuild." I had used the cash I saved when I bought the car to get some parts from the warehouse. With the business discount I hadn't done too badly either.

We started by winching the engine out of the car and then worked on it for several hours before finally calling it a day. Then I drove Jacob home to pick up a few things before we went to my place. Mom was staying with Billy that night and in the morning I would fetch the both of them to spend the day at our house.

Jacob gave me my Christmas gift that night when it was just the two of us. An expensive looking new wristwatch with a message engraved on the back, which made my heart flip over as I read it.

'Sam, you are my life too. Jacob x.'

Delighted, I put it on immediately and vowed to only take it off when I was in the shower or working where it might get damaged.

As soon as Christmas was over, Jacob emptied his bank account buying parts for the Skyline and we took to working on it whenever there was a spare hour and on Saturdays. I bought a pair of Sparco seats and a matched rear seat for Jacob's seventeenth birthday and even Billy, my Mom and Embry bought him car parts.

It was the last Friday in January when the weather threatened to spoil everything. There had been light snow, which compacted and froze making the roads a nightmare. With a few days of mild weather beforehand, the roads hadn't been salted so the sudden freeze was a surprise. Around lunch time a lady brought her car in asking for snow chains and for once we were out. She called her husband for a ride home and said she would collect the car the next day, so I set off in the truck to fetch a supply of chains from Forks.

The cliff road was treacherous and I kept to a low gear, reaching the town safely but passing a crashed and abandoned car on the way. I collected the chains, got back in the truck and set off again for La Push just as more snow started to fall. The truck crawled along, under thirty miles per hour and I tapped my fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, longing to get back to the shop. I couldn't wait for the winter to end so I could start the restoration business.

I switched the headlights on, keeping as close to the shoulder of the road as I could as I approached the bend above the cliffs and then out of nowhere, a blue van appeared from the other direction, half on my side of the road.

"Damned fool," I muttered. He was going too fast for the conditions and as he saw me, he braked and wrenched the wheel over to the right, but I knew exactly what was going to happen and there was nowhere for me to go. His brakes locked up and he kept coming straight at me. The front of the van smashed into my door and the truck slid onto the shoulder and kept going, wheels spinning. It seemed to happen in slow motion, the edge of the cliff gradually coming towards me, the truck breaking through the barrier and tilting, starting to fall. I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white and looked down, realising that where I was going to land was the rocks where the pack often used to sit. Fifty feet earlier and I would have gone in the sea; I would have had a chance. I closed my eyes.

"Jacob," I whispered. Then there was nothing.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

The first thing I became aware of was the intense cold. I hadn't been cold since before I first phased, even if I went outdoors in the snow in a t-shirt. Now I was as cold as ice; maybe that was why I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't hear anything either, but perhaps that was what it was like when you were dead. Then gradually sounds began to emerge as if through a dense fog and suddenly a cacophony of voices assaulted my ears.

Charlie Swan: "Don't move him, you could make things worse. Wait for the ambulance."

Embry: "Oh, my God, there's so much blood. Jacob, don't get in there...!"

Jacob: "Sam! Oh, God, where the fuck is the ambulance, it's been ages! Embry, get the hell off me! Sam, hold on, don't leave me, please, I need you." He was sobbing.

Leah: "Jacob, don't! Stay out of the truck!"

Jacob: "Sam? Sam!"

I forced my eyes open. It took all my strength and they instantly began to burn. All I could see was red; I guessed I must have hit my head and blood was running into my eyes.

"Sam! Look at me!" Jacob's hand touched my shoulder gently and I realised he was kneeling on the seat next to me, the truck miraculously having finished up on its wheels.

"Sam, don't move your head! Stay still!" Leah yelled.

I stayed still and swivelled my eyes to the side. Jacob's face was filled with panic and streaked with tears. I just wanted to make him feel better and I tried to speak.

"It's ok. I'm ok." It was barely a whisper and it sent a sharp pain through my chest. I breathed in and the cold air threatened to choke me. When I coughed, blood sprayed out of my mouth. It hurt like hell and I forced myself to stop breathing, closing my eyes again.

"Sam! _Noooooo! _Sam, don't go to sleep. Open your eyes. Please..." Jacob was barely coherent.

"Jake! Get out of the truck now," I heard Embry say. "If you phase, you could kill him."

I heard continued noises - talking, shouting, the sound of an engine, Paul yelling, "What the fuck happened?" Then snarling.

"Officer Swan, put the gun away, Jesus, that's Jacob!" Embry's voice cried.

The sounds faded and I drifted off as if I was going to sleep.

Suddenly I could see everything, almost as if I were watching a movie from above. My old truck, almost obliterated, the roof and hood caved in, one of the doors torn off, wheels, fenders, other parts strewn around. Myself lying on someone's jacket on the ground, my face covered in blood, Leah, Paul, Quil and Jared all kneeling around me, Leah apparently performing CPR, Charlie Swan a little distance away, gesticulating at everyone while Jacob in wolf form paced backwards and forwards between him and me, lips drawn back from his teeth, growling and snapping, Embry keeping pace with him, one hand held up in Charlie's direction.

Charlie and Leah had both said I shouldn't be moved, but they had gotten me out of the truck. They must have decided it was worth the risk. But why would I be watching myself from above unless it was too late?

Just then Embry turned away from Charlie and Jacob and threw himself on his knees beside my body, touching my face. I could see his mouth moving, but I couldn't hear anything. It was obviously important. Jacob stopped snarling at Charlie and turned away, dropping down onto his belly beside me. I felt as if I was falling.

"Come on, Sam, come back," Embry was saying. "That's it." He was holding my wrist now, I could feel his fingers gripping lightly, moving around. "I got a pulse! Sam, listen to me. The ambulance is held up, there's a big crash on the road out of Forks, it can't get through. We're taking you to the Cullens. But you've got to do something first. Sam! Oh, God, I don't know if he can hear me."

"Keep going," Leah said.

"You're going to have to phase. Whatever strength you've got in you, get it together now. If you phase you might just heal enough for us to get you to Carlisle."

Phase? I couldn't even think. How could I make myself change?

Something warm and wet touched my cheek and I realised it was Jacob's tongue, licking away the blood. He couldn't communicate with me and I knew the only way I could let him know it was going to be alright was if I did as Embry said. I turned my mind away from them; from Embry and Leah's voices, from Jacob gently licking me, from everything except what was inside me. I was a wolf; it was in there somewhere, resting. I just needed the strength to make it come out of me and then I could sleep.

I imagined myself lying there on my side, black and furry, legs stretched out, ears down, my tongue hanging out a little as I breathed. I concentrated as hard as I could, only then noticing the agonising pain in my head where it must have hit something in the truck. It increased until I thought my head would explode and then suddenly it began to fade.

"Yes! Sam, you did it!" Embry cried.

I relaxed and let myself lose consciousness again. I had no idea how long I was out of it, but I became aware of movement. I knew I was lying in the back of a truck and I could feel the heat of Jacob's body next to me. I was still so cold and he was like a furnace. I wanted to snuggle closer to him, but I couldn't move. All I wanted to do was sleep and I slipped away again.

I didn't know where I was. I was outside of my body again, watching from above. The big black wolf lay on its side on what looked like a mattress placed on the floor of some kind of surgery with an operating table and various trolleys of equipment standing around. A metal stand next to the mattress held a large bag of blood and a second clear one, both of which were connected by tubes to one of my legs. An oxygen mask was fastened over my muzzle; it looked like the kind I'd seen on television programmes about vets.

Carlisle Cullen was crouching beside the mattress, listening to my heart with a stethoscope and Jacob paced behind him. He hadn't phased back and his claws clicked on the polished tiles. Every so often he growled or whined. I wanted to fall back into the motionless wolf form below me and talk to him, but I seemed to be stuck there, floating somewhere near the ceiling.

Carlisle got up and left the room, then Edward and Bella appeared. She looked just like him; sort of white, but at the same time glowing. I guessed he must have changed her. The pair entered the room slowly, Bella a little in front, looking at Jacob. I was stunned by his reaction. He sprang forward, positioning himself between my inert body and them, ears flattened against his head, snarling. Bella lifted her hand towards him, but then Edward grabbed her and ushered her out of the room again.

Embry came in with a large dish of water which he put on the floor in one corner, apparently for Jacob; then he kneeled on the floor beside me and reached out to stroke my ears. He looked as if he were crying. Did they think I wouldn't make it? Maybe I wouldn't. I couldn't get back to my body at that moment.

I watched people come and go for a while; Paul and Leah, holding hands, stood looking at me and speaking to Embry. Then Jared, Seth and Quil for a few minutes. Carlisle came in again to check on me and Bella came back on her own. Jacob wouldn't let her near me. He was protecting me from everyone outside the pack except for Carlisle, who was obviously essential for my survival.

A little while later Embry left, but returned an hour later with Mom. Jacob backed off at once and sat down. Mom looked at him for a moment and cautiously gave his neck a pat before she sat beside me, stroking my fur for a long time, talking to me. Jacob remained motionless until she left and then he stood over me.

I don't know how long I stayed that way. Darkness fell and the sun rose again. I didn't move and Jacob wouldn't leave my side. Carlisle repeatedly came into the room and checked things, then set up a screen around me and some piece of equipment which flashed strangely. I guessed he must be taking x-rays. He pulled the screen back and later studied a picture of part of me. I wondered what was wrong with me. Maybe my skull was smashed; that would explain me not being able to wake up.

Night came again and then another day. Jacob lay next to me, his muzzle resting on my chest, occasionally lifting his head and licking my nose. I wanted to speak to him so badly. Mom and Embry both came back in and stayed a while. Then once again it was just me and Jacob. Suddenly I was somersaulting towards the floor and everything went black.

I opened my eyes slowly and looked up at the russet wolf towering over me, his eyes dark with pain. I was human. I looked down at myself, wondering why my right arm hurt so much and discovered an enormous needle sticking out of it. What the hell? I followed the tube with my eyes and noticed the drip still hooked up to me. I licked my lips, wanting to speak, but my mouth was so dry I couldn't make a sound. I looked back at Jacob and at that moment he phased back.

"Sam! You're alright!"

"Mm," I managed.

Jacob got up and went to the sink in the corner, filled a plastic cup and brought it to me. "Can you move at all?"

I lifted my head a couple of inches. I immediately felt dizzy and my neck hurt, but at least I could move. Jacob slid his hand under my neck and supported it while he carefully dripped water into my mouth. When he lowered me back down and put the cup away, he paused to scrub tears off his cheeks, then suddenly put both hands over his face and wept.

"Oh, God, Sam, I thought you were going to die," he choked. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Hey..." I lifted my hand experimentally and it moved towards him slowly, although it felt heavy and cumbersome. I dropped it onto his knee as he crouched beside me. "I'm ok; I'm not going anywhere," I said. My voice sounded strange and croaky as if it didn't belong to me.

After a few moments Jacob got up, unfolded the sheet at the end of the mattress and draped it over me, then grabbed a pair of pants from a chair in the corner which one of the others had apparently brought in and pulled them on. Then he opened the door.

"Carlisle!"

Both Carlisle and Mom appeared at a run. Mom burst into tears when she saw me and kneeled down, grasping my hand and stroking my face. Carlisle checked my heart and my breathing and then sent Mom and Jacob out, saying he needed to carry out some other tests and preferred them not to be present. Jacob protested loudly, but Mom ushered him out.

"We'll get you moved onto a proper bed later," Carlisle said to me now. He crouched down beside me again. "First I need to check a few things." He began feeling my ribs, nodding approvingly, then changed the drip needle for a normal sized one, much to my relief.

"You broke nine ribs," he told me. "One punctured your lung, but that had healed by the time you got here. The ribs took a little longer. You were bleeding internally and I drained the blood, but the internal damage also healed immediately. The problem is your back."

"What?"

"I took some x-rays and it appears the spinal cord has been severed between the second and third lumbar vertebrae."

"Severed? What the hell does that mean?" I was filled with panic.

"You suffered an unusually severe trauma. Often spinal injuries cause only lesions - bruising - but what you have...I'm sorry, Sam, it means you're paralysed below the waist."

My stomach turned over and my heart began to hammer. Paralysed?

"Can't you operate?" I said. "Surely you can fix it."

"I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes. Paralysed. The word was terrifying. I wouldn't be able to get up off this mattress without help; run about; drive; be with Jacob. Oh God. I lifted my hands which still felt heavy and awkward and put them over my face as I began to cry. Carlisle poked and prodded at me for a few moments and I had no idea what he was doing; I sensed movement, but I couldn't feel it. He told me he was inserting a catheter. A new horror filled me. I wouldn't even be able to go to the toilet properly; I wouldn't even know if I wanted to go or not. Mom would have to look after me again to begin with, as if I was a baby. There was no way I would let Jacob...

"Oh, fuck," I groaned. The thought of Jacob having to care for me was mortifying. I wouldn't let him be with me like this. However much it was going to kill me, I was going to have to tell him to keep away from me. Pain knifed through me and my breathing sped up until I was gasping raggedly.

"Sam, try to relax a little, come on, your must stay calm," Carlisle coaxed.

"How can I calm down, you just told me I'm half dead!" I panted.

"Well then, I'm going to give you a little sedative and then get your Mom and Jacob back in here to talk to you."

"No!" I exclaimed. "Keep him away, please."

"Hush, Sam."

I felt a new needle pricking my arm and after mere seconds, I began to float - not the way I had been, outside of my body, but the way you do when you've had too many beers and the room doesn't quite stay still around you.

A few minutes later Mom and Jacob came in, both trying to look as if they hadn't been crying when it was obvious Carlisle had told them what was wrong with me. Carlisle said he would get Edward down to help move me onto the bed at the other side of the room.

"Keep Edward out of it, I'll do it," growled Jacob at once. He slid both arms under me and scooped me up as if I weighed no more than a child, then carried me over to the bed and carefully lowered me onto it. I had to watch him gently straightening my legs out to convince myself he was touching me because I couldn't feel it. I squeezed my eyes shut again, not wanting to look at him. I didn't want to see anyone and I wished they'd leave, but they thought they were helping me. Both Mom and Jacob stayed in the room constantly.

"Please, go home for a while, I'm not going anywhere," I said painfully.

"We're staying," Jacob said.

"What about the shop?"

"Embry's running it and Seth's helping out for a few hours after school each day. Jared and Paul are going to put in some time on the weekends."

"Jacob..." I hated him seeing me in such a state. "Go and see how your Dad is at least, just for a few hours. Please, I just want to go to sleep."

At last he went, apparently because it was what I wanted. I was alone briefly while Mom went out to speak to him and then she returned alone and sat on the edge of the bed. Instantly I reverted to a little kid; I couldn't help myself.

"Mom! Help me!" I wailed.

She cuddled me and stroked my hair while I wept and then fetched a bowl of water and cloth and washed my face for me. Then we talked. She would take care of me, help me get used to being on wheels as Billy was, get me a new truck specially adapted to be operated only by the hands so I could still drive; I could still work; I could still do most things. She was so positive, but all I could think about was that I couldn't be with Jacob; I couldn't be there for him; I couldn't make love with him. He would end up having to run around after me like he'd done for his Dad since the age of nine and I wouldn't let that happen.

When he returned, I knew I had to tell him straight away. Mom left the room as he came in and I determinedly told myself I wasn't going to cry again; not until after.

"Jacob, come here, I want to talk to you," I said.

He sat down on the edge of the bed at once, bent to kiss me and then grasped my hand, but I pulled it free.

"Don't. Look, I've been thinking... I've done nothing but think since I woke up. I don't want you having to look after me when I get out of here. You're too young to have to give your life up..."

"What the fuck?" Jacob interrupted. "What are you saying? You think I'd be giving my life up being with you? That's bullshit, Sam! What life have I got without you in it? I'm not going anywhere."

"Listen to me..."

"No, I won't listen. You Imprinted on me. That means we're together until one of us dies and from where I'm sitting you're not dead yet, so stop talking like that. Would you leave me if I'd been in an accident? If I was paralysed? Huh?"

"No, of course I wouldn't," I admitted.

"Well, then, how can you ask me to leave you? I love you. It'd kill me and it'd kill you, wouldn't it? You said you felt physical pain if you didn't see me for one day."

"Yes, I know," I said weakly. Everything he said made sense, but I still didn't want him staying with me when I was only half alive.

"Sam, get this into your stupid skull," Jacob went on, his voice shaking. "I'm going nowhere. Ever. You're stuck with me."

He bent forward over me and slid his arms under me, pressing his face into my neck. I hesitated for a moment and then lifted my arms and wrapped them around him. It felt so good holding him and I briefly found myself thanking God as I realised something important. It could have been so much worse. I could have broken my neck; it could have been all of me paralysed, then I wouldn't even have been able to hold him, stroke my hands down his back, cup his face in my hands as he kissed me. I had to start looking at my life in a different way; I had to start telling myself I was lucky.


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

My attempt to be positive lasted about a day. The next morning Charlie Swan came to see me, needing some questions answered for his accident report. Jacob was with me and I did the best I could to remember what happened before the accident. Driving slowly, the other vehicle half on my side of the road and going too fast, losing control and hitting me. That was all. Apparently the other driver had confessed everything, wracked with guilt that he'd come so close to killing me, but Charlie still needed my side of it. After the official questions, he asked about the Cullens.

"You don't think they're strange at all?"

"No stranger than us," I said. "You saw me and Jacob, didn't you?"

Charlie cleared his throat and looked at his notepad. I guessed he was thinking that he knew what he'd seen, but wasn't ready to admit it was real just yet.

"You can talk to Billy about it, if you want," I suggested.

"Maybe. But the Cullens..."

"Look, Charlie, you've seen Bella; she's alright, isn't she?" I said. "Don't you talk to each other?"

"Not so much, since she got married."

"Well, maybe you should then. I got enough to think about." I closed my eyes, not wanting to talk to him any more. Jacob saw him out of the room moments later and closed the door, then came back to sit on the edge of the bed. I opened my eyes again.

"How did all of you get to where I was?" I asked him. "I mean, how did you know about the crash?"

"Charlie was already in La Push; the 911 operator sent him to the accident after the other driver called it in. When Charlie saw it was your truck he tried calling your Mom, but she wasn't home so he called Dad, then Dad called me and Embry at the shop and we sent for the others. We all got there more or less the same time. Charlie was still trying to find out where the ambulance was, but it was trapped just outside Forks. There was another accident there blocking the whole road. We could have waited indefinitely for it so we thought the best option was to get you to Carlisle."

Having to go over it with Charlie and then listening to Jacob talk, I began to remember other little details; how cold I was; how I'd floated above myself watching Leah pounding on my chest while Jacob snarled at Charlie; then Embry coaxing me to phase. I shuddered and tried to close my mind off. I didn't want to think about it any more. I made the excuse that I needed to sleep and to my relief Jacob left me alone for a while. I closed my eyes with the intention of actually sleeping, but it evaded me. Instead my mind filled with a jumble of thoughts that ate away my efforts to be positive and I found myself slipping into depression.

Obviously I could no longer lead the pack; I wouldn't even be able to run with them again. I would have to step down. I would make Jacob the new Alpha. I just hoped there would be no need for them in the future. It reminded me that I hadn't heard anything about Victoria since she brought her army from Seattle to try and destroy the Cullens. Apparently she had been the only survivor, but I doubted she would have just given up. Surely she would want revenge for both James and Riley. I'd been so wrapped up in Jacob for the past few months that she hadn't even crossed my mind. The next time Carlisle came to check on me, I spoke to him.

"What happened to Victoria?" I asked bluntly.

"You shouldn't be worrying about things like that now," he said mildly.

"Of course I'm going to think about it. I've got nothing to do but think. Is she still around? I can't lead the pack now..."

"She's not around," Carlisle said. "She came back not long after the battle. Edward killed her."

"By himself?" I said in surprise.

"Yes."

Well, that was one small weight off my mind, but I soon forgot about it again. Other random thoughts filled my head - the shop, the car I had bought Jacob for Christmas, my plans to start restoring other cars to expand the business. It took my mind off my predicament for a little while, but not as long as I would have liked.

I began to think about what Carlisle had told me about my injuries; broken ribs, fractured skull, punctured lung, internal bleeding. I had fixed all of that by phasing; not all immediately, but it had been nothing to do with science. All Carlisle did really was drain the blood and fill me up with someone else's. Why hadn't my spine mended? Obviously it was too severe even for the rapid and efficient healing of the shape-shifters. But what if I were to try again? With only that one thing to mend, could my body heal it, despite Carlisle's conviction that it was irreversible?

No; it wouldn't work. I kept telling myself that. If it was going to, it would have already. I had stayed in wolf form for days and my spine had remained severed. I wouldn't even let myself think about the possibility now, because I'd only be more devastated if I tried and it failed. I would never phase again. In effect I was still only seventeen, even though I had lived almost twenty years now. While I continued to phase I didn't age; none of us did. Now it was time for me to grow up properly. I would remain human and get on with my life, the best way I could.

I stayed almost two weeks at the Cullens'. Most of the time either Jacob or my Mom or both were there and Embry and the others came by at least every two or three days. I tried to keep positive for them, but all I wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up. I hated having to be looked after; I didn't want Jacob doing it and while my Mom was with me, she couldn't be with Billy so I felt as if I was coming between them. The only time I could let my mask slip and be myself was at night, when I was either alone, or Jacob was sleeping. Most nights he stayed on a small camp bed in the upstairs room I had been moved to. I would lie in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about everything I had lost and beginning to convince myself once again that I had to let Jacob go. I went over and over in my mind what he had said to me when I first spoke of it to him, but it didn't make me feel better. All I could think was that he would have a much better life without me. It wasn't as if he had Imprinted - in time he could move on. I decided to talk to him after I got home.

That Sunday, Leah, Paul and Seth came in the Clearwaters' MPV to collect me. Carlisle had gotten hold of a wheelchair for me, which I loathed on sight. Jacob helped me get dressed and into the chair and rolled me outside to the vehicle. I did my best to put a brave face on it until we got home and Mom came out to meet me. Then much to my relief Jacob left with the others to see his Dad, promising to come back later to spend the rest of the day with me.

Mom had made a roast dinner and I ate as much as I could to please her, but I had no appetite. I hadn't been able to eat much since I'd come off the drip and I guessed my stomach must have shrunk a little. Afterwards I just wanted to go to bed and Mom helped me, tucking me in like she had when I'd been a kid.

For once I did sleep well, feeling better in my own bed. When I woke it was the next morning and Jacob came in with coffee, having come over on Sunday afternoon and not wanted to wake me up. He had slept on the sofa.

"I had an idea," he said as I sipped my coffee. He looked excited. "I don't know if it'll even work, but it's worth a try."

"What?" I grunted. I hated myself for sounding so sulky and unpleasant, but I couldn't shake off my misery. I was sick of everyone being upbeat and helpful when I was so useless and I was angry for not being able to get a grip of myself.

"You know how badly you were injured," he began.

"No, I'd forgotten." I put my mug down on the bed table a little harder than I intended and the coffee slopped over the side. Jacob grabbed a cloth to clean it up and I scowled. "Just leave it, I'm not completely helpless."

"Ok, Sam." He put the cloth down. "You had lots of other injuries besides your back and yet most of them healed when you phased; some immediately, the ribs after a couple of days."

"And?" I knew what he was going to say before he said it. He'd had the same idea I had; the one which wouldn't work. I knew it wouldn't work. There was no point trying it because I'd hope and then I'd be even more pathetic and miserable than I already was.

"So it could mend your back, couldn't it? If you try phasing again."

"It's not going to work, Jacob. It didn't work before," I sighed.

"You were so badly hurt, maybe once wasn't enough. Or maybe if you'd stayed phased for longer..."

"It's not going to happen, Carlisle said my spine is severed, it's not going to just miraculously knit together again."

"How can you say that? None of us really know what we're capable of. You healed nine ribs, a fractured skull and God knows what else. For all we know, the spine injury could have been much worse when it happened than it is now. Carlisle only took x-rays on one day when you were still phased; still healing. How do you know it won't work? Try it, please."

"Jacob, leave it," I growled.

"No, I won't leave it. You're supposed to do what I want, right? Do anything you can to make me happy," he said, tears springing into his eyes. "This will make me happy. So phase one more time. I'm begging you."

"I can't." I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to let my own tears out, but one escaped and trickled down my face.

"Of course you can. You're so much stronger than when you did it before. Just concentrate..."

"Jacob, I can't do it because I'm scared! Alright?" I cried, looking up at him suddenly. "Do you think I haven't thought of it myself? I'm scared it won't make any difference. That I still won't be able to jump up off this bed and hold you and tell you everything's alright!"

"If it doesn't work, I can do that," Jacob said softly, brushing his tears away with both hands. "Please, Sam. Give it a chance. Otherwise you'll never know. Isn't it worth it?"

"Damn you!" I muttered. I had done my best to put it out of mind because as I'd told him, I was scared to try and be disappointed; but now he was talking me into it. In fact he already had. I could never say no to him. He could probably ask me to run into a burning building or something equally insane and I'd do it.

"Get away from me, just in case," I said. He got up and backed away a couple of feet. "Further. Go and stand near the door."

I threw the quilt off the bed and glanced briefly at my legs, unable to believe I'd be able to feel them again; stand on them again. I closed my eyes again with a sigh. I knew it wasn't going to work. Surely if it was going to work, it already would have? Most of me had healed, but my spine had snapped like a twig and it was hopeless. I just went over the same thoughts I'd already had a hundred times like a stuck record.

'Don't think like that. Think positive. It's going to work,' I told myself firmly. 'Do it for him if nothing else.'

I had become an expert at hiding my thoughts in the past, not wanting Jacob to know how I felt about him and then not wanting the pack to know how I felt. Now I shoved my conviction that I was dead from the waist down into that little room in the back of my mind and slammed the door on it.

I was healed. I was a big black wolf standing on all fours, ready to go off running through the woods, running with Jacob.

I phased fast and rolled off the bed, hitting the floor with a thud. I pushed my front paws under me and rose up, but my back end didn't move and I stayed sitting. It didn't work. I had absolutely no feeling in my back legs. They just lay there underneath me as if they were made of wood.

"Sam!" Jacob rushed to me, wrapping an arm around my neck, stroking my ears. I rested my chin on his shoulder and whined sorrowfully. It was pathetic, but I couldn't help it. I shouldn't have let myself hope. Even now I wondered if I just needed a few more minutes before I would miraculously be able to move.

"It doesn't matter," Jacob said in my ear. "I'm here. Remember when I ran off into the mountains and you found me? You said you'd always be there for me. Now I'm here for you."

I shivered and pressed my muzzle into his neck, closing my eyes. I just wanted to sit there and think about nothing except the way his hand felt stroking my ears. I barely even noticed the peculiar tingling sensation in the lower part of my back and my haunches until it began to grow more intense. Then I heard a strange brushing sound and lifted my head, glancing around me curiously. My tail! It was sweeping back and forth across the carpet. I was wagging my tail! Jacob hadn't seen it. He was hugging my neck, his face pressed into my fur, one hand still stroking my ear.

I looked up again as the door opened and Mom stopped short on the threshold when she saw me in my wolf form again.

"Oh Sam, what are you doing?" she said.

Jacob drew back from me. "I thought maybe if he phased again, he'd heal. You know it healed everything else," he said tearfully.

I wished I could grin, but I knew it only made me look menacing. Instead I stretched my head forward and swiped my tongue up his cheek, tasting the salt of his tears. He looked at me sadly.

"Oh, Sam. I'm so sorry, I really thought it could work."

I gathered my strength and visualised myself standing, then lurched forwards. My back legs didn't want to move, but the paws scrabbled at the carpet, trying to lever the rest of me up. I swayed awkwardly and sank down again, half on my side, panting with the effort, but my tail continued to wave from side to side like that of a giant happy dog.

"Oh, my God! It did work! Sam, it worked!" Jacob cried. "Allison!"

Mom came into the room now, pulling out a hankerchief to mop up her tears which had started to fall.

"Come on, Sam, you can do it!" Jacob encouraged. "Try again! Stand up!"

I tried again. My back legs were full of pins and needles, just as if I'd had them curled under me for too long and they'd gone to sleep. My paws felt huge and ungainly, but this time I got them under me and used all my energy to push myself up. I was on all fours! For just a few seconds I stood there wobbling before I subsided onto the carpet again, my back legs splayed out inelegantly, my chest hurting with the exertion and my tongue hanging out of my mouth.

Jacob threw his arms around my neck again, snuffling into my fur. More than anything, I wanted to hold him at that moment. To speak to him; tell him how much I loved him; how stupid I'd been when I'd ask him to move on without me.

I phased back so suddenly that it left me breathless, my heart hammering. Suddenly I was crouching on the floor naked, folding my arms around Jacob and hugging him to me as if I meant to crush the life out of him. The door clicked quietly as Mom retreated and left us alone. Jacob drew back after a moment.

"How do you feel? Does anything hurt? Your back?"

"No; it feels ok. My legs feel like jelly; sort of heavy and wobbly like I just ran a marathon or something." I laughed for the first time in what seemed like quite a while. "Will you help me get back on the bed? I'm exhausted, I'm not sure I can get up again just yet."

"Of course, hold on." Jacob grasped me around the waist and stood up. My feet rested on the carpet, but felt strangely disembodied as if there was nothing between them and my hips. I sank onto the edge of the bed and Jacob picked my legs up to lift them onto the mattress. I felt his touch; the warmth of his hands, the pressure under my calves as my weight rested on his palms, the brush of the quilt as he pulled it back over me again.

"It worked. I can't believe it worked. I can feel everything." I slid my hand down and pinched my thigh just to be sure and it stung.

"It's lucky you have to do all you can to please me, then," grinned Jacob.

"Look, any time you want me to do anything in the future and I won't listen, just punch me or something," I told him.

"No, I'll just tell you I love you and I can't live without you." He sat down again and leaned forward to kiss me. I slid my arms around him.

"I love you," I whispered. "Thank you for being here; thank you for not listening to me." I closed my eyes and just hugged him, barely able to even think. I was blessed; I could go on living my life with him the way I wanted.


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

It wasn't a one hundred per cent miraculous recovery straight away, but at least I was back on my feet – mostly. I had some numbness in my back for a couple of weeks and every so often my legs would just give way without any warning and I'd collapse in a heap like a drunk. I didn't drive at all during that time and took to walking about with my arm around Jacob's shoulders to save myself landing on the ground quite so much; it was a good excuse for me to hold onto him anyway.

Four days after I first got my feet under me again, Jacob took me back to see Carlisle and to return the wheelchair. Embry had hired a truck to use for the shop and Jacob drove me to the Cullens' house in it. I was pretty shaky, but refused point blank to sit in the chair on the short journey from the car to the front door. I leaned on the handles instead and pushed it in front of me like a walking frame, while Jacob hung onto my waist and I took one step at a time, almost falling over my own feet.

By the time we reached the door, Carlisle, Esme, Edward and Bella had all stepped out onto the porch and were watching me in amazement.

"What happened?" asked Carlisle, running down the steps to assist Jacob getting me into the house, while Edward took charge of the chair.

I was out of breath from the effort and Jacob filled him in on what had happened as they took me into the surgery. Carlisle said he wanted to take a new x-ray and I succumbed to being examined and poked about like a science experiment with no complaint.

Carlisle discovered the break in my spine had indeed knitted itself together, but there was still some partially repaired nerve and muscular damage which was causing the numbness and weakness. I guessed it was the cause of another problem I had too, which I hadn't mentioned to Jacob; God forbid. Luckily Carlisle banished him from the room while he examined me and I decided to confess to the doctor, just for my own peace of mind that I would get over it. Carlisle himself gave me the opening for it as I wondered how to broach the subject.

"Are you having any other problems at all?"

"Yeah, one." I could feel myself colouring up, despite knowing a doctor would have heard it all a thousand times before. "I can't get it up."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I can't get...hard."

Fortunately I hadn't tried doing anything with Jacob, otherwise I'd have been mortified. I had cuddled and kissed him tentatively as we lay on my bed and absolutely nothing happened, so I pretended I was tired.

"Oh, of course. Look, Sam, spinal injuries very often affect sexual function, but you've healed miraculously. I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm going to give you some exercises to do which will strengthen the muscles in your back. The numbness you're experiencing should go away over time and I wouldn't be surprised if everything else starts to work normally then too."

"Over time? How much time?" I asked worriedly.

"In a normal human, I would say a period of months. With you...well, I guess that's really down to you." He took a sheet of paper out of a drawer and passed it to me. It was covered in diagrams of back and leg exercises and I folded it and tucked it into my pocket.

"Start with five repetitions of each of those, twice a day," Carlisle said. "When you find it easier, increase the number of reps gradually."

"Thank you," I said. "For everything. I'd have died if you hadn't helped me."

"I was only doing my job, Sam."

"Yeah, but letting a pair of dogs stay in your house for weeks is going a bit beyond the call of duty," I joked. "So thanks."

Carlisle smiled. "Any other problems, don't hesitate to give me a call."

He opened the door. Jacob was standing in the hallway talking to Bella; grovelling to Bella by the sounds of things.

"I can't believe I did that," he was saying. "I wouldn't have hurt you. I just...I was protecting him."

I guessed he was referring to when I had been outside of myself, watching from above, and he wouldn't let anyone near me except for Carlisle and the pack.

"It's alright, Jacob, just forget it," Bella said. "I'd do the same if it was Edward lying there injured."

"Hey." I rested my hand on the wall as I made my way towards them. Jacob immediately came to me and wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Sam." Bella actually smiled at me. "I'm glad you're ok."

"Seriously?" I raised an eyebrow, but grinned to show her I didn't have any hard feelings. If Jacob could forget how much she hurt him, then I could too. After all, I had him now, didn't I and life was way too short to be worrying about past squabbles.

"Yes," she said and smiled back.

I leaned on Jacob heavily as we returned to the truck and was relieved to sink onto the seat. I was exhausted and my legs felt as if they didn't belong to me. Still, at least I could feel them.

First thing the next morning, I started on the exercises and as usual I overdid it. I started with five repetitions as Carlisle had told me, but then carried on with another set. By the time I finished I was aching as if I'd gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson and I was soaked in sweat. I dragged myself into the shower, glad Mom was out visiting Billy and wasn't there to see me. I had managed to persuade Jacob to go back to work too and he went reluctantly, saying he would be back as soon as the shop closed. I sat on the floor of the shower stall with the water pouring over me, my body trembling with the effort of the exercises.

The day after I was terribly stiff, but I exercised regardless - morning, noon and night. I was determined I was going to recover properly and fast. By the end of the week, I was still having episodes of numbness, but they were further apart and shorter in length than they had been. There was still no movement in my pants though and it was making me anxious, especially as I knew Jacob would be staying with me over the weekend. I knew I was being ridiculous; he would understand, but my pride was getting in my way of being honest and I would rather just avoid getting into a situation with him where it would become obvious there was something wrong.

Friday night we ate the lasagne Mom had made for us and later I had another session of exercises. I was up to twenty-five reps of each now and every workout took more than a half hour.

"Should you be doing that many?" Jacob asked when I finished, gasping for breath and slick with sweat again.

"Carlisle said as many as I can when I get used to it." He hadn't said that, but I figured it was close enough. I hauled myself up again and headed for the bathroom. "I'm going to get a shower."

I couldn't help myself. I closed the door after me and then kicked myself, but didn't know how to undo it. I couldn't very well just open it again. Well, I could, but then I'd be saying 'come and join me'. Damnit. I showered quickly, wrapped a towel around me and opened the door again. Jacob was leaning against the wall the other side of it.

"Are you ok?" he asked. He didn't look hurt exactly, but left out maybe.

"Yeah. I just overdid the exercises," I lied. I walked past him to my room and threw myself on the bed. Actually, I wasn't lying, I was exhausted. But I still knew I should explain. I was being an idiot about it. He was my Imprint; my soul mate; I should be able to tell him anything. "Jacob..."

He came into the room and sat on the edge of the bed and I reached out to him, pulling him down against me.

"I'm just being a dick," I said. "I'm not up to doing anything with you yet."

"I'd be surprised if you were," said Jacob softly. "You nearly died three weeks ago. Six days ago you couldn't even walk."

I felt even more of a fool then. I'd known how he'd react; pride was stupid. I held him tighter and brushed my lips against his. "I love you," I whispered. "I don't know what I'd have done without you."

It was so good sleeping with him again; sleeping with him in my bed, my arms around him, rather than me on the bed and him on the camp bed at the Cullens' or on the sofa in my living room. I just couldn't wait until I was completely healed.

On Monday I returned to work. Mom and Jacob both tried to talk me out of it, but I ignored them. There must be a tonne of things to do and I still hadn't dealt with the insurance on my old truck. I knew I wouldn't get very much for it, but the written-off value would be better than nothing. My insurance company would no doubt recover it from the other driver's insurers.

However, I was amazed to discover that the guy who hit me felt so bad that although he instructed his insurance company to deal with reimbursement for my injuries, he bought me a brand new Dodge Ram 3500 out of his own pocket, figuring his insurance company probably wouldn't want to give me more than fifteen hundred dollars for my rusty old truck. The Dodge turned up on the back of a trailer on Wednesday.

"Delivery for Sam Uley," the driver of the trailer told me.

"What is it?" I was sitting on a stool sanding down the chassis of Jacob's Skyline while he and Embry worked on the customer's jobs. The pair of them had bullied me into doing something that wasn't going to make me strain my back and to be honest, doing this for Jacob pleased me anyway so I had only protested half-heartedly.

"This comes with it." He handed me an envelope along with the document I had to sign. I opened it and scanned the letter. An apology from the other driver, telling me it was completely his fault, he would have to live with it for the rest of his life, he knew he could never make up for what I'd had to go through but he hoped the truck would at least go some way to make things easier for me.

"Fuck me!" I exclaimed.

Jacob looked up at me and grinned. Embry raised his eyebrows.

"Guys, go home if you're going to do that," he smirked.

The delivery driver looked from one to the other of us warily with a slight grimace. I signed his delivery slip and sent him on his way.

"What is it?" asked Jacob, coming to my side. I showed him the letter.

"Wow! He bought you a truck?"

"Let's go see." I got up and Jacob and Embry both followed me outside.

I expected to see a used truck sitting there, maybe a few years old, but in decent condition. What I was faced with was a brand new, straight out of the showroom gleaming black beast with with less than ten miles on the clock.

"Shit!" exclaimed Jacob. "These things cost over thirty grand, the guy must be loaded!"

"He must be on one hell of a guilt trip," Embry said.

"So he says." I passed him the letter and pulled open the door of the truck. I couldn't resist getting into the cab and resting my hands on the steering wheel. I'd never imagined I'd ever have a brand new vehicle. It smelled new; the paint, the leather, everything. I knew I was going to have to steel myself to dump parts in the back of it the first time. I'd be worrying about every little scratch.

"You going to try it out?" Embry asked.

I grinned. "Maybe just a quick spin." I still hadn't driven since before the accident and I was longing to. "Come on, Jacob."

"Yeah, great, just leave me to it again, thanks," grumbled Embry, smiling none the less.

Jacob climbed up beside me and I started the engine. It roared like an angry...wolf. I smiled and put my foot down. I decided to just drive down the Forks road a little way and turn around at the snack-stop close to the beach. However, when I got that far, curiosity had me driving on around the bend to where I'd crashed through the barrier.

"Sam, are you sure you want to do this?" Jacob said anxiously when he realised what I was doing.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to go past here sooner or later if I go to the warehouse," I said.

I pulled the truck onto the shoulder, twenty yards or so from the broken barrier. It hadn't been fixed yet, but the road was covered in a mixture of salt and grit and there was a large warning sign up advising drivers to keep their speed under thirty in the bad weather. I got out and walked towards the place I'd gone over the cliff. Jacob hurried after me and grasped hold of my hand. My truck had made a hell of a hole in the barrier, I thought - taken out four uprights and over twenty feet of the metal sheeting they used.

"They should replace this shit with something stronger," Jacob commented.

"Yeah." I took a couple of steps forward and looked down. My truck was gone. "What happened to it?" I asked.

"Cops examined it and then had it taken away for crushing," Jacob told me. "Embry went to look at it first to see there was nothing left in it you might have wanted."

I nodded and peered down at the rocks below again. I felt curiously detached as if I was looking at the site of someone else's accident. I couldn't quite believe I'd crashed all the way down there, landed on those rocks and survived. I pulled my hand out of Jacob's and wrapped my arm around him instead.

"Let's go back."

"Are you ok?" he asked as we walked back to the truck.

"Yeah." I halted beside the passenger door and turned him towards me. I hadn't even kissed him properly since before the accident. I'd started and then backed off, knowing I couldn't do any more. Now I did kiss him; I devoured him. I gripped him tightly, plunging my tongue into his mouth, tasting him, feeling the warm softness of his lips against mine. His arms slid around me and I pushed him back against the side of the truck, pressing my body against his. I could feel his heart thumping, the heat of him, his almost instant arousal straining at his pants and nudging my groin. Immediately I began to feel that familiar ache in myself; my dick started to stiffen, my balls clenching, heat filling me. I drew my mouth away his for a second.

"I'm more than ok." I kissed him more gently, reasoning that there was no point getting the both of us worked up at the side of the road when we still had to go back to work. As it was, a truck drove past a moment later, honking loudly and I pulled away from Jacob reluctantly, grinning as I remembered my Mom would be having her mid-week sleepover with Billy that night.

"I can't wait to get home tonight," I said.


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

It was impossible to keep my mind on what I was doing when we got back to work. I continued sanding the Skyline and as there weren't many jobs in, Jacob was working under its hood while Embry serviced a car on the other side of the workshop.

I kept glancing over at Jacob and almost invariably when I did that, he was looking at me. I knew I was eyeing him the way a starving dog would look at a juicy steak, but I couldn't help it. It had been far too long since we'd been together and I longed to get home and just...fuck him. I began to imagine it, to think about how hot and tight he was. Now I was alive again down there, waiting was agony. My jeans were practically crushing me.

"Jeez, guys, will you knock it off?" Embry said after a while. "Go home and screw or something, before you set fire to the place."

"Sorry," I snorted and then grinned over at Jacob again. His face was a little more colourful than it had been a moment ago.

"It's not like there's even anything to do. Just go. I'm sure I can manage one more day by myself," Embry continued. "I can't stand to see you panting over each other for one more minute."

I put the sander down with a grin. "Look, call me if anything happens," I told him.

"Not on your life; I can cope. Get out of here."

Ten minutes later I was parking my beautiful new truck on the driveway, praying to myself that Mom had already gone over to Billy's. She hadn't, but she was getting ready to leave.

"What are you doing home so early?" she asked in surprise. "It's not even two o'clock yet."

"Not much to do," I said.

"Well, then, if you're at such a loose end you can give me a ride over to Billy's," Mom said, picking up her bag.

I almost groaned aloud, but I led her out to the new truck and told her about its surprising arrival and the letter as I drove to Billy's. I got back much quicker than I got there and burst into the house, slamming the door behind me.

"Jacob?"

"Here!" he called from my bedroom.

I hurried into the room and found him lying on my bed in just his jeans, reading one of my car magazines. I kicked my boots off and kneeled on the bed, bending down to kiss him. The mag fell on the floor and he slid his arms around me.

My mouth covered his and I thrust my tongue in, lowering my body onto him. His thighs slid apart and I rested between them, already hard and immediately feeling he was the same way. I ground against him and poured myself into him through the kiss, only breaking it when I couldn't breathe any longer. I sat up again and peeled my t-shirt off, throwing it down somewhere behind me, then began to unbuckle my belt. Why the hell had I worn a belt? It just made for more things to undo.

Jacob unfastened his pants and his dick slid out at once, stiff and swollen. I got off the bed again quickly and disposed of jeans and socks, then grabbed the bottoms of Jacob's jeans and tugged them down, dumping them on the floor with mine. A second later I was back on the bed, my body pressing his into the mattress, his arms and legs wrapped around me. I reached my arm out for the lube, aching, but still wanting to take my time over it. I intended to use my fingers first, but Jacob unfolded his legs from around my waist and put his feet back on the bed, then caught my hand and wrapped it around my erection instead. The cool slickness of the lube made me suck my breath in quickly.

"Don't play around, just fuck me," Jacob whispered urgently.

He was as desperate for it as I was and I was delighted to oblige. We could take our time later. I covered myself in the lube and then guided myself into him, slowly at first until he opened up around me; then I drove myself deeper, as far as I could go. He felt amazing and I shuddered, holding myself still for a moment, just feeling him.

"God, Jacob, I missed you," I groaned into his ear. "I missed this."

"Me too." He rolled his hips around beneath me, squeezing and teasing me until I had to almost withdraw just to stop myself losing it. I tried to get control of myself, but I just couldn't. I thrust back in, once, twice, deeper and it was over. I lay shuddering on top of him, grinning when I felt the stickiness from him on my stomach. At least I wasn't on my own. Reluctantly I began to pull back, but Jacob slid his hands down to my buttocks and held me tight against him, his muscles still gripping me firmly.

"Stay there," he whispered.

I relaxed again and stayed where I was. I was still hard and I knew it wasn't going to go down any time soon. I felt as if I could go on all day if only I had enough energy in the rest of me.

After a few minutes I began to move again, slowly, just an inch at a time back and forth, making Jacob gasp, his dick starting to twitch against me. I kissed him, almost idly, little pecks at his lips, flicking my tongue along the underside of the top one, knowing I was tormenting him. I loved to see his eyes go black as he looked up at me.

Much as I wanted to keep going, after a few minutes the lower part of my back began to ache and it aggravated me enough to make me consider stopping. However, there was one thing we hadn't tried yet. I slid my hand under Jacob's back, just above his butt, held him tight to me and rolled over. He drew his legs up under him, kneeling astride me and slowly began to rise up and down. He leaned forward, resting his hands on the mattress either side of my head, moving faster, his buttocks smacking against my thighs each time he sank down.

"Fuck..." I hissed, squirming beneath him. The pain in my back was gone and I felt incredible. I grasped his dick and began to pump it vigorously, making him come moments later all over my chest, just as I emptied myself inside him.

I put my hands on his waist now, pulling him down against me, too breathless to kiss him, but wanting him closer. I wrapped both arms around him and held him tight as I slid out of him.

"I love you so much," I panted.

"I love you too, Sam." His warm breath fanned my ear as he spoke and I brushed my lips against his cheek.

"Better get a shower," I said reluctantly, not wanting to move. I ran my hands down his back, slippery with sweat and kissed his neck, tasting the salt. "Damn, you feel so good. I wish I could be with you every night like this."

"Don't think your Mom would be too impressed," Jacob said with a smile.

"Maybe we can persuade her to move in with your Dad," I grinned. My heart was hammering. There was more I wanted to say. I'd had it in my mind since he made it clear he wasn't going to walk away from me, no matter what. Should I stop now, or carry on with what I'd been thinking of?

"What do you think?" I continued breathlessly. "If she did, would you live with me?"

He drew back a little and met my eyes. "You really want us to live together?"

"More than anything." I hoped I hadn't gone too far.

Jacob smiled; that beautiful smile he gave when he was really happy.

"I'd love that," he said.

"Seriously?" My heart, already going at more than double its usual rate, sped up even more.

"Yeah. I want to be with you every minute," he said.

I hugged him tighter. For a minute I found I couldn't speak.

"Let's see how things go with Mom and Billy for a few weeks," I said eventually. "If they just stick with the way things are, maybe I can rent a place, although I wouldn't be surprised if they decide to move in together; Mom already spends half the week at yours."

"I hope they don't take too long deciding," Jacob grinned.

After that, the idea was constantly in my mind and I found myself dropping in the odd question when I was talking to Mom about how things were going with Billy.

"Good, thank you," was about all she would say.

"You know, you practically live over there with him," I blurted out eventually.

"I'm sorry, Sam, would you rather I was here more? I thought you liked being able to spend time with Jacob?"

"I do! I didn't mean that," I sighed. I dropped it for the moment, but a couple of weeks later Jacob had much better news from Billy.

"You'll never guess what," he began excitedly as he climbed into the truck one morning. I had already picked up Embry, who had jumped out briefly to let Jacob sit in the middle next to me.

"No, what?" I turned the truck back into the road.

"My Dad's going to..." He paused and glanced at Embry, then continued. "...propose to your Mom!"

"Are you serious?" The truck lurched as my foot slipped off the accelerator and I righted it quickly.

"Yeah, he ordered a ring from a catalogue on special delivery."

"Wow, they're getting married?" Embry said. "Are you pleased?"

"More than you can imagine," I said with a grin. "Hope they don't bother with a long engagement."

"What difference does it make?" Embry asked. "You guys are weird. Why do you want them to rush things?"

I exchanged glances with Jacob who was grinning and when I raised an eyebrow he just nodded.

"Well, they have a house each; if they get married they're only going to need one and they're not going to want either of us around cramping their style," I said.

"Are you two going to live together?" gasped Embry.

"Yeah, but don't go telling people," I said. "I don't want our parents thinking it's a bad idea and changing their plans."

"My Dad wouldn't want Allison hearing about what he's planning either," said Jacob. "He wants to get some nice food and wine in and stuff and do it all properly."

"Alright, I'll keep my mouth shut," Embry promised. "Really, I don't want to be the one telling people my brother and my best friend are moving in together."

We didn't have to wait very long. Two days later Jacob told me the ring had arrived and that Billy would be proposing at the weekend. By the time we returned home from work on Friday, Mom had already gone out.

Jacob and I went out in the Corvette, driving into Forks to the Italian Bistro where we had gone after Bella's wedding and several times since. The staff had got to know us by now and greeted us by name. We lingered over the food for a couple of hours before returning home and hurrying to my bed.

Mom called not long after we finished breakfast the next morning and asked the pair of us to go over to Billy's. Grinning, I went to put my boots on. Jacob was in the bathroom and I shouted to him to hurry up.

"What's going on?" he asked when he emerged a moment later.

"Mom just called. They want us to go over there. Guess they must be making an announcement."

"Yes!" Jacob was ready to leave within a couple of minutes and we drove over to Billy's. He and Mom were waiting for us in the living room, Billy's wheelchair parked close to the armchair Mom was sitting in. They were holding hands like a real pair of lovebirds. Mom was wearing a sparkling diamond on her left hand.

I dropped onto the sofa and Jacob sat beside me, much to my surprise sliding his hand into mine. I squeezed his fingers.

"What did you want to see us for?" I prompted innocently.

"Well, we've been together for quite a while now," Billy began, grinning briefly at Jacob before he looked at Mom instead. "Allison doesn't seem to be getting sick of me, so I thought I better do the right thing and ask her to marry me."

"And I said yes," put in Mom, beaming.

"Wow, that's great! I'm really happy for you," I said and got up to give Mom a hug and shake Billy's hand. Jacob hugged both of them and added that he was delighted before we sat back down and waited to see what else they had to say.

"Have you set the date yet?" Jacob put in.

"Yes. April thirtieth," said Mom.

"Can you get it arranged that fast?" I asked. It was already the first week in April.

"Of course, we already spoke to the Reverend in Forks," Billy told us. "He's going to marry us here, in the meadow near the woods."

"But we'll need a little help getting invites out and arranging a few others things," added Mom.

"Anything. Just give us a list," I said at once.

"There is something very important we'd like you to do as well," said Mom. "Sam, I'd like you to give me away; if that's alright with you."

I told her I'd be delighted and honoured and had barely finished when Billy put in that he wanted Jacob to act as his best man.

"Did you tell Rachel and Rebecca?" Jacob asked then. His two elder sisters hadn't been back to La Push in years since one of them married and the other went away to college.

"Not yet," Billy said. "I'll call them later."

"There's one other thing," Mom began then. "Obviously after we get married, I'll be moving in here with Billy permanently."

"I guess that means you'll want me out of the way," Jacob said.

"Of course not, son, I'd never ask you to leave," Billy told him.

"What I was going to say, Sam, is that our house will be yours," said Mom. "It's paid for, there's no mortgage as you know. I'm guessing you'd be wanting your own place before too long anyway."

"Yeah, I do," I said. "Thanks, Mom." I got up again to give her another hug. When I sat down once more, Jacob's hand found mine and squeezed hard. He was biting his lip nervously.

"Ok, my turn to ask something," I said, taking a deep breath. "We kind of figured you two would decide to at least live together properly at some point. We want to do the same and since I'll have my own house, Jacob could move there with me."

Mom smiled at once, but Billy looked a little doubtful.

"Jacob, you're still so young," he said.

"I'm old enough. Another nine months and I'll be eighteen, then I guess I could just do what I want anyway; although I'd rather you approved."

"Billy, you know I'll take care of him," I put in.

"Yes, I know, Sam, you always have." Billy smiled slowly. "Alright. If it's what you really want, Jacob. You know I only ever wanted you to be happy."

"Yes!" Jacob exclaimed delightedly. "Thanks, Dad!"

I elbowed him and turned the conversation back to wedding plans. There was a lot to be done in just a few short weeks.

They turned out to be the shortest weeks ever. In no time it was the day of the wedding. For once Mom had stayed home and I had spent the night tossing and turning with excitement, missing Jacob lying beside me, but knowing that after just one more day he'd be with me all the time.

Over the past few days my truck had been used as a removal vehicle, swapping bits of furniture and clothes and personal items between the two houses until most of the things Mom wanted were at Billy's and Jacob's things were all at my place; his clothes hanging in my wardrobe, his laptop set up with its speakers and other accessories on a desk in the living room, his boots sharing the shoe rack inside the door with mine and most of his toiletries in the bathroom cabinet.

When it was finally time to get ready, Tiffany Call came over to dress Mom's hair and Jacob's sister Rachel came over to help. Rachel was living in Seattle after going to University there and had been happy to hear Billy wasn't going to be alone any more. Rebecca, however, who was living in Hawaii, had said she wouldn't be able to make it.

I left the three women to together in Mom's old room and went to put on my suit. I had a tux and a stupid bow tie which took me about ninety-seven attempts to get right and I couldn't wait to rip the damned thing off again after the wedding.

A small podium and rows of seats had been set up in the meadow and a half hour before everything started, the guests began to arrive; mostly people Mom was friends with, some of the tribal council who Billy was close to, the pack, Charlie Swan and even Bella and Edward. Mom had invited Carlisle too, since he did so much for me, but he was called away to an emergency at the last minute and instead sent a gift with Edward and Bella.

As far as wedding ceremonies go - and I hadn't been to many - I thought it was pretty cool. Jacob and Billy arrived and positioned themselves at the podium, I walked Mom up the aisle towards Billy, she holding onto my arm. She was wearing a cream silk dress and a hat and looked so young and pretty that a couple of people commented that she must be my sister. I left her with Billy and then sat down on an empty chair in the front row. After Jacob gave the ring to his Dad, he joined me.

Billy and Mom repeated the vows after the Reverend and in what seemed like no time at all, the ring was on her finger and Billy was invited to kiss the bride. Afterwards, there was a buffet style meal and live music, then speeches. I said a few words as I had given Mom away in place of a father and Jacob's bestman speech was hilarious. Finally Billy spoke and then the party continued.

I tore off the hated bow tie and was amused when Jacob did the same.

"Damned thing's strangling me," he muttered.

Finally the party ended and Billy and Mom left in the Clearwaters' MPV, which had 'Just Married' sprayed on the back in foam and dozens of cans tied to the rear fender. The guests left and the pack stayed to help Jacob and me clear away the chairs and tables and gather up the trash. By the time we finished, it was dark. Jacob and I watched the last vehicle drive away - Paul, Leah and Seth in Paul's truck. We were still standing in the middle of the meadow and I slid my arms around Jacob and drew him close to me. I'd barely had a minute alone with him all day.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too, Sam."

I kissed him, gently, my lips clinging to his for a long moment before I drew back. I could see the shadow of the house at the side of the meadow, sitting there in the darkness waiting for us. I let go of Jacob and grasped his hand instead.

"It's just us now," I said. "Let's go home."


End file.
